I Think My Son Has ADHD

My 9 year old son jakeup has adhd. We found out when he was in kindagarden.. Let me tell you something sweety you have not failed as a mother. That is the same thing that i thought. But he went from bouncing off the walls not sitting still for more then 2 min. To having him tested and finding out that not olny dose he have adhd he also has odd. Which is optional defient disordr. I myself have adhd. And i think that it was the best thing for my son. It in my opion is better to find out when they are just starting school then to waite untill they are in 6,7,8 th grade, and dont like school.

I personally dont think putting kids on medication for ADHD is right. I would just say work with him more, it could also be a stage he is going through, be patient with him. FYI if teachers diagnose a student with ADD or ADHD the school has to pay for treatment!!!

Hi K.,
First-- I'm impressed with your son's teacher. Unfortunately, ADHD is so misunderstood and too many teachers jump on the ADHD bandwagon everytime they have a disruptive student. If his teacher acknowledges his misbehavior, but says she doesn't think he's ADHD-- then he has a good and conscientious teacher.
School teachers and school counselors are not qualified to test for ADHD. It MUST be a child psychiatrist.
ADHD does not create "bad behavior". All ADHD means is that someone can't focus on an activity for a significant amount of time. They're so hyperactive and their brains are switching thoughts and focus so quickly, that they can't pay attention or sit still. So whenever a kid isn't paying attention in class, or moves around alot, too many teachers cry "ADHD"!.
But ADHD is the biological INABILITY to pay attention or sit still. It's a problem with the neurotransmitting chemicals in the brain.
But, the truth is, kids pay attention when the like something, and they don't pay attention when they don't care. We can all remember that from our own education.
We paid attention in the classes we really liked (for me that was choir and band) and we wrote letters to our boyfriends, passed notes, and tuned out the teacher in the classes we didn't really care about. (Chemistry and physics)
That's why a kid who's "supposedly" ADHD can't focus for even 5 minutes on their math homework, but can play Nintendo for 2 hours and be SOOOO focused, that they don't hear you call them for dinner even though you've shouted for them 5 or 6 times.
How is it that an ADHD kid suddenly has a miraculous ability to stay focused and concentrate when they're doing what they WANT to do?
Someone who is TRULY ADHD, can't focus, even when they WANT to focus. They can't sit still, even when they want to.
And they get frustrated at their inability to concentrate and stay focused on a task.
Your son COULD be ADHD, or he could just be the standard "misbehaved child". Maybe he isn't disciplined enough, or rather, consistently enough. Maybe he just doesn't get that he's responsible for his behavior, or he could think that that he isn't necessarily going to be held accountable for it.
He's only 6. And 6 year olds aren't really at the point of being able to really understand the importance of appropriate behavior.
Self control, putting aside the need for immediate gratification, and prioritizing are NOT 6 year old qualities. Some kids have higher levels than others at such a young age. But generally, these are things that are learned over time, and usually take until the 3rd and 4th grade before they're mastered well enough for a classroom. That's why for decades, kids didn't start school until they were 8 years old. It's only been since women started entering the workforce that kids started going to school at such a young age. So the self-control and prioritizing skills aren't even very well developed at 6. And that's something your Pediatrician can verify.

T.

K.,hello my name is kimberley also just spelled different.my son is 12 and has the same problem although i was told my son had ADHD from his previous school i am now told he does not but has ODD.he has gotten into trouble at school also(thankfully nothing major) but he has also stole a bicycle and broke windows 3 different times.i was told told maybe medication would help but i'm scared of the side effects too.i dont want my son to "not be himself" he is a sweet kid and very loving i have put him into to counseling to see why he does what he does.hes now on his second couselor because the first didnt seem to help him.i know what your going thru its hard when you have a child whom you love with all your heart but you dont know how to help them with whatever it is they are going through.i've had people tell me that certain meds are good but...some of these meds give them a major appetite and others take away the appetite my son is 12 but very small he cant afford to lose any weight.how do we know if these meds are safe for our children to take?

Don't blame yourself. I've been having the same trouble, although my son is more physically aggressive. I've gotten to the point that I just couldn't deal with one more call, email or note from the school and it damaged my relationship with my 5 year old.

First don't ask your Pediatrician they have an answer, medication and they aren't equipped to handle the emotional aspects/side effects of the medication.

Observe your child in class. Then you can teach him and his teacher ways to handle his compulsion to talk, like learning sign language or aggression by avoiding group activities.

In the class room I learned that my son does have impulses he cannot control, but he also has other children goading him and a teacher that doesn't have an tough voice or attitude.

We've struggled with weeks and weeks of daily behavioral reports, stripped him of every belonging and privilege even left him for hours in an empty room and nothing has helped. After one day with him at school I knew what our answer was.

My son is very advanced academically but too emotionally immature for school. I don't want to keep him home so we found a medication to help him control his impulses. We did not be do this through a pediatrician. We have him monitored by a psychiatrist so she can evaluate him for depression or BiPolar when those feelings arise or are triggered by the medication.

We've had a chemical profile and ECG performed on our son. He has the marker for Hemochromatosis therefore supplements are not a solution and there are too many unclassified fillers in Herbal remedies. Pedi-Active caused an allergic reaction.

The Psychiatrist also works with me and my mother to control our BiPolar disorder, we trust her. We know that there is a chemical imbalance in our own brains and we have the knowledge that a regular pediatrician would often discount as worrisome family members.

This is the last resort. We've switched classes twice, schools and he's been homeschooled. The only other thing to do is keep him out of school this year and I'm not willing to do that.

He's been on the mediction for almost a month and it really helps his behavior at school. However, it's designed to wear off after 8 hours and he's back to being loud and wild at home. That's okay though cause we also use a mixture of STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting)
A system for democratic, respectful & practical parenting
http://lifematters.com/step.asp and you might be able to get one of these books through your child's school. We also use
the baskets in The Explosive Child by Ross Greene http://www.ccps.info/ We checked this book out on tape from the Tulsa Library system. You may be able to find it in the OKC system as well.

In addition to all of this we instituted a grading system and the school followed suit. For every hour he is good he gets a bear. For yelling, cussing, saying mean things he gets a mean face and for physical aggression or explosions he gets a beanie kicking a box. I printed those images out on paper from my clip art in MSWorks Word Processing. At first he had to be good 75% 11 out of 14 hours of the time now he's up to 90%. For every hour he doesn't earn a bear he loses something and if there are multiple problems in an hour he loses something for every event. He has an opportunity for earning one thing at a time back by making his goal for the day or getting 6 bears in a row. We also have special bears for making it the whole day. At the end of the week he can cash in his six regular bears for 6 days of good behavior for pizza, presents or playtime alone with us. He can also cash in 6 special bears for extra special activities like a bon fire with dad out on the pool patio, trying to stay up all night, going skating at Granma's work.

I can't say that all days are good but He rarely gets down to the point that he's lost everything but his freedom anymore.

I wish you luck, patience and I would suggest you call Family and Children Services. Driving to Tulsa to see Dr. Herring wouldn't be practical but I'm sure they have someone just as good at an office in the City.

I'm no doctor and neither is his teacher, perhaps a visit to his pediatrician might be a good idea for starters so you can get some valid information. Just some advice though from a parent with friends who have children diagnosed with ADHD, don't be so quick to put your son on medication, be sure and seek information about natural alternatives. Doctors just love to create little pill takers...it will line their pockets for years to come.
Search on the web for nutritionists who have experience with this type of disorder. Sometimes a change in their diet can help or a vitamin deficiency can be the culprit. Sounds like you're working hard to help your son (and yourselves!) it's hard work to find an alternative to traditional medicines but if they help, it will be worth your time and effort.
Hope you find the help you're seeking. If I find any websites that I think might help I'll be sure and forward them to you.
Good luck!

You have some very good advice from others. I am a kindergarten teacher. It is so true that now days people really want to jump to ADHD to explain away behavior. There is a checklist/survey that you can get from the school-if the teacher doesn't know about it check with the school counselor or nurse. You can take it and the child's teacher, anyone that works with you child on a regular basis that will give you an at home and an at school picture.
Those surveys can be taken to the doctor for review. The school does not determine if a child is ADHD.
Certainly ask yourself first... Can your child focus on something that he is interested in?
Please don't feel like a failure. I know that it is frustrating to get a bad report from school.
The most important tool that I have in my classroom for dealing with misbehavior it to offer a lot of positive praise when things are good. I would try to pick out things that your son is really good at and encourage him in those areas and really praise him when he does well. Hopefully he will start working harder to get postive attention at school as well.

I have a 5 year-old son with the same problem. We are getting him test for it but it will take up to 6 months. I felt the same way about feeling as you failed as a parent. We changed his diet. No Red Dye. No Sugar. That helped tremendously. Also we made up a schedule for almost ever minute of his day. Once we made the schedule and stuck with it, We noticed a dramastic change in a couple of days. We got bad notes everyday and had to pick him up from kindergarten. Now we get happy faces and he is a completely different kid. Hopefully that will help ya. The schedule works wonders if you stick with it. Just keep the teacher informed and Good Luck.

K.,

call your pediatrician and ask for an evaluation - that is usually the first step. If your pediatrician does not normally do this, he/she can refer you to a psychiatrist for evaluation. You can also call the Developmental and Behavioral services clinic at children's Mercy but it can be several months before they can get you in!

I just thought i'd throw this out there. I have a co-worker who is ADHD and she has done a ton of research in the field. She suggests neurofeedback instead of the medication because of the harmful side effects it has on young children. Neuro feedback has been proven to be more effective in the treatment of ADD and ADHD in children.

K.:

Have your son evaluated by a professional, to rule out AHDH (which is often over-diagnosed). Besides meds, there are many things that you can try first if he has ADHD (diet, consistency....). Don't think of it as a "fault", as it is not.
I work with many children who have ADHD, and their parents often (needlessly) blame themselves.
A. L

If the teacher is telling you your child is ok.. yet your child is getting in trouble.. I would talk to the councler.. They can do testing on your Per your request.
But they can give you some ideas what they think if anything... I hope things get better..

I used to work for a child psychiatrist, and the best thing that you can do is first, talk to your son's pediatrician and then they can refer him to a child psychiatrist. It also may not just be ADHD. There could be some other issues going on. talk to his dr. first.

My son has adhd and we created solutions that turn parenting problems into priceless memories. Action timeouts are a big part of it. My son started out the same as yours; in trouble all the time AND getting bad grades.

Brandon is now 12... EASILY gets straight A's, is popular, well-mannered and the star of the school play, writes comics, books, plays, songs, plays several instruments, etc.

I believe adhd symptoms are a gift when they can be directed to productive actions that promote academic and social excellence. I also like the nutritional and medicinal advice postings, whatever works for your son is what you should do for him.

I hope my book helps for only $9.95 at www.twominutemom.com.

Consider this, all the many times your son is misbehaving, he could be contributing to his academic and social success. Wouldn't that be awesome!!!

i had the same question and noone would answer mine but my son's teacher said she thought he had add not adhd but she also never seen him at home she did tell me to take him to the doc and have him checked and said that only docs could know for sure so talk to his teacher and see what more she has to say if she see's he acts that way maby its time to make an appointment

If he does have ADHD, it is not that he's always in trouble, it's an illness. You need special diet that contains no sugar, use sugar substitutes, few foods that have starch and low carbohydrates. Talk with the doctor and see what he has to say. They have special therapist for ADHD children and adults at any hospital, see if you can get referred by the doc. let me know

i am a student at lindenwood, studying education. one of my professors suggested that we read, "Treating Huckleberry Finn" by D. Nylund, for learning about and working with kids with ADD/ADHD. hope it helps. if his teacher is refusing to get him tested, then you can go over her head and go straight to the guidance counsler, who should be able to really help you.

I have a child with adhd, and he started out getting in trouble at school. my advice to you is have him tested and see what the results are then go from there just know that after the diagnosis it usually get better. just make sure that you understand everything that they tell you and ask lots of questions. also some kids grow out of adhd by the time they are 8-10 yrs old.with adhd children they only hear and comprehend every 3rd word so constantly repeating yourself is something that you will do at first and then you will find ways to get you point across the first time. Make sure that he has something to keep him focused on hes just as upset about his behavior as you are. It takes patience and a little more one on one time but you will get thru it and your not failures as parents.

some children act out looking for attention. I know plenty of children at the "Y" were i work was the same way until they got into the big brother lil brother program. See if you can get your son in it. Sometimes being the oldest is hard for our children. When they themselves dont feel like the oldest. IF you need to still get him checked for adhd the first step is to record his behavior write a log then take it to your dr. he will recommend somebody to diagnois him if he believes you are write. I think you should take him to the dr. anyways because it could be something different then adhd. My two oldest have behaviour problems and neither one is adhd. There are so many other disorders out there. You best bet is to start a log and show your dr. I hope things work out. good luck.

Talk to the school nurse about this. She has a list of questions for you to answer and a list for his teacher as well. These get returned to the nurse and she scores them. Then you can take the results to his doctor or a counselor or psychologist who is experienced in dealing with ADD/ADHD.

I AM a doctor and I have a daughter with ADD and a daughter who doesn't have it. I have researched a lot on the subject and attended a multiday conference on it, so I know what I am talking about.
A lot of people have opinions about whether ADD/ADHD is real or not, but they are not professionals so take their advice like you would take advice on post partum depression from Tom Cruise.

If you are in the Fort Riley/Junction City area I know of a great consulor that my husband goes to for his ADHD. He has a test to determine whether ADHD is a possibility. And if you are military he takes Tricare. Let me know if you want his number.

I am 26 and have just recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I got in trouble alot in school. I wouldn't listen to the teacher and never did my work. Everyone thought that I was lazy, but I wasn't able to concentrate. I wasn't a hyper child either. On the Webmd website they have a questioner that you can take to see about the symptoms. I would take him to the doctor to see what they say.

Good for you for looking at his diet! Watch out for sugars (all kinds, especially corn syrups!) food dyes (especially red) and also watch for wheat or dairy intolerances.

Check out the Feingold Program at http://www.feingold.org/
The Feingold Program itself is a test to determine if certain foods or food additives are triggering particular symptoms.
Good luck and stay strong mama!