My 5 year old is let's say a bit moody and it is driving me crazy. He has always been like this and apparently what I am doing (time outs, taking things away) is not working. For example he woke up this morning and my husband said hey buddy good morning and he gave him a mean look and walked right by him. Also he was playing football yesterday with hubby and my son hurt his finger and again gave an attitude and said it was hubby's fault. This may not sound like much but when it happens all day long it get's frusterating. I am looking for a book that also gives examples on how to respond.
Thanks!!
Edit Should have mentioned that I do have 123 magic, it works but not in this particular situation.
Thank you for all your suggestions. I have accepted that my son was moody a long time ago. It is the way it is expressed which bothers me. I coud talk about feelings with him and all that stuff until I was blue in the face but it hasn't worked yet. It is the "attitude" that bothers me most and I think these books will help me find better ways to go about this issue. The one good part is that his preschool teachers tell me what a joy he is in class. I love how they save the fun stuff for home.
The title of this book is off-putting but a must read. Try "treating Explosive Kids" by Stuart Ablon. VERY Very helpful.
I love 1, 2, 3 Magic it is short and easy to read and it really does work if you follow it.
The Discipline Book by Dr William and Martha Sears.
P.
There are a series of books with the title "Positive Discipline". I found all of them useful especially when my moody son grew up to be a moody teenager!
Good Luck!
C.
123 Magic!! It works... or atleast it did and still does with my 3 and 5 year old. I started in January when i just couldnt take it any more. My 5 year old was getting bossy and my 3 year old was out of control.
They have a kids version too.
1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan
Best of luck!
H.
PS give it a chance... it will not work overnight... give a week of constant use... you will see the rewards.
Connection Parenting by P. Leo. It uses discipline that is teaching rather than punishing. It works, it works, it works and the best part is when I overhear my son using the same kind and patient techniques with his little sister.
My favorite is Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim fay and Foster Cline
Hi P.,
My 5 year old daughter is quite moody as well. Unfortunately, she gets it from me. I believe that punishing a child for their mood is not something that should be done. Not all children are pleasant and perky all of the time. My daughter tends to be very happy and friendly, but we usually go through a morning funk and she, too, will say others have hurt her on purpopse when it was an accident. I know my daughter needs her space some mornings and I give it to her. I simply wait for her to wake up enough to be the pleasant child she is and she will say good morning and start chatting away. She knows that she is entitled to her feelings and moods(even if they are grumpy ones), but that she can't be mean or rude. I tend to find it more rude when adults harp on a child for not saying good morning or hello right away when a child is in less control of how they handle their feelings and moods than an adult. I also take the time to explain the differnce between something being done on purpose and an accident when incidents arise. Slowly, but surely, she is coming to realize the difference.
Might I suggest that you talk to your son about his feelings and appropriate ways to express his moods rather than look for a book to punish him for them? Kids go through many moods just as adults do, but they don't know the acceptable ways to express them until they are shown. If you punish him for his moods then he may withdraw from you and not see you as someone he can express himself with and to.
Good luck to both of you.
S.
I am reading "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber (I think). There is a discussion on punishment (I'm in the middle of now) and how it can backfire.
So far I think its a great communication book and may be helpful. It offers practical suggestions, not just theory.
I also liked Playful Parenting, that may offer some suggestions to you.
Hi P.,
My suggestion would be to focus on any little thing that your son does which is positive and ignore the rest, so long as he is not doing any physical harm to himself or others. Continue to be a bright and cheery example and don't make a big deal of it if he isn't, eventually your good examples will catch on :)
J.
Hi P.. I thought How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen was a very helpful book (same authors as Siblings without Rivalry, another great book). I think How to Talk is going to be even more useful when my boys are older. Here is the link on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...
Good luck!!
I just finished reading this book that I got from my library. I found it really helpful. My kids are 4 and 6.
"Who's in charge? : a positive parenting approach to disciplining children", by Ruth A. Peters
123 magic by thomas phelan
I barrowed the dvd from libraty
it was the most usefull 2 hrs I spend
good luck
Hi P. - I loved, loved, loved "The Secret of Parenting - how to be in charge of today's kids from toddlers to pre-teens without threats or punishment." by Anthony Wolf.
They have it on Amazon.com Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Parenting-Kids-Preteens-With...
His book (unlike a lot of parenting books) is a joy to read. It is filled with real-life scenarios and examples of those aggravating moments of parenting with suggestions of how to respond (when not to respond) and why.
He also has a book about sibling rivalry called "Mom, Jason's breathing on me!" The solution to sibling bickering." This was also fantastic. We use the strategies in this book with my 7 year old daughter and 9 year old stepson and they very rarely fight.
I found that the 1,2,3 magic theory only teaches kids how long they can continue misbehaving until they need to stop. Plus, I find listening to parents count slowly to three really annoying!
Good luck!
T. Y
SAHM to almost 4
9yrs, 7yrs, 19 months and 23 weeks pregnant with baby #4
