Neded Help with Potty Training a Boy

M.,
I had a lot of problems potty training my son. It finally happened just after his 3rd birhtday! I ended up buying underware for him that was too big. My reasoning for this is because if the underware is snug it feels like a diaper, so they use it like a diaper. When we were home I would also put him in large sweatpants with no underware.

There is some good news...my daughter is 2 and she is already potty trained!!

Hi M.,

To get my son (who is now 4) to go to the potty with pee pee and poo poo I bought his favorite small candy which was M&Ms and put them in a covered jar in the bathroom. When he did the dirty deed in the potty and washed his hands he would get the treat. This worked well for me. Good luck and hang in there. He will get it!!

I had this problem with my son. He wanted a diaper, would go in the corner, did not want to poop on the potty. This also turned in to him holding and holding his poop, he would go sometimes over a week without pooping. It was awful, laxatives, etc so if you can nip this in the bud, do it! What I finally found that worked was whatever motivates your kid. Each kid is different. I am just now done potty training my daughter and we did the princess thing, with my son it was spiderman, but use whatever you know motivates your kid. I made a big poopy chart (for both kids during their potty training, as it happened with my daughter too, but I nipped it in the bud before it became a holding issues) We made a big chart and I got whatever their favorite stickers were, posted it in the kitchen for all to see. Made out a number of boxes up and down (this is totally up to you) When they pooped x # of times, they got a prize. Sticker for each poop, we used 5, then they got to go to target and pick out a toy (within reason of course) The first prize was a Spiderman toy for my son (we actually bought it and I put it in the bathroom up on the towel rack where he could not reach it, could not touch it, just admire from a distance until he pooped on the potty) with my daughter, it came together much quicker, she picked out a sleeping beauty doll, then next prize was a piece of candy, it gets smaller just by itself. Still I use the chart when things come up, like we were at a neighbors last night and I knew she needed to poop, was acting "weird" so I told her she would get 2 stickers when we get home on her princess chart for pooping "out". It worked like a charm. My son still uses his "big boy" sticker chart (he is now 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten) when issues come up from time to time, we revert back to the chart with stickers. It really helped me out and luckily my daughter (almost 3) totally bought into the concept as well. You can also motivate with underwear that they love (find the kind that really does it for them) for my daughter it was "you don't want to poop on sleeping beauty, that's yucky" and it worked. My son would just hold until we had all sorts of problems, so avoid that at all costs, although it is VERY common for boys to "hold" I hope this helps, sorry it is so long. Best of luck and happy to help if I can.
C. in Alpharetta

Hey M.! I feel your pain :-) I'd like to suggest a book titled "Toilet Training in Less than a Day". I used this with all five of my children and it works! On a side note, I mentioned to my youngest two children who were "hesitant" to have a bowel movement on the toilet that if they didn't put their poopy in the potty, the poopy would be so sad b/c it would miss out on the "poopy-tt party" that happened when it was flushed down the potty. For some inexplicable reason, this motivated both of them to want to send their poopy to the party so it could have fun with all of its "friends". I know, weird but it worked.

I wish you much success and a quick training period!

Warmly - J.

This is what my husband and I did for our son. When Jr was ready he started taking his diaper off and would not leave it on. We went to the store and bought a couple packs of Big Boy Underwear. I started to take him to the potty every so often and putting him on the toilet facing backwards, both of our kids learned on the regular toilet. When it came to him going poo poo, he wouldn't do it in the toilet. He would go poo poo in his underwear, he would take the underwear off because he couldn't stand the clothes being wet. I would then make him get some toilet paper and pick up the poo poo and put it in the toilet and have him flush the toilet. It only took a short time of doing that to teach him it is just easier to go poo poo on the potty chair. Good Luck!!!!

you will be fine. don't worry! if you act like you could care less, you will probably have the best results. right now, he is trying to get as much attention as he can even if it is negative attention. a big part of it is the baby. at 8 months babies are doing SO many great and remarkable new things, that you son's "place" in the house is not at the top as it once was.

tip: if you are at home and you can go for a while without changing his dirty pants it starts to bother them. when he asks/tells you about the problem, you let him know that you are busy and you will get to it when you can. this is not the time to go all into how he would be much more comfortable if he had gone to the potty, etc. wait for him to talk about it later.

Hey M.,
Just relax, it truly is ok. Boys are slower on catching on to the whole potty experience. One thing Ive learned about being a Mother of 2 is we worry too much about keeping up with everyone else. Everyone is telling you 'he should be doing this or he should be doing that'.My 2nd time around, with my baby girl, I am vowing to not care who is walking first, talking, potty trained ect..... Just let her lead the way. My son, I worried but I new the more I pushed the more he refused. If he is peeing, he is fine. The pooping part is one of the last parts of the equation. My son was 3 and half when he was fully trained. AT the end of the day....it really doesnt matter if he is 3 or 3 and a half. Its okay. Dont worry, just enjoy him.

One day it just clicks with them. My son was 3 yrs and 3 months before he was 100% potty trained. The poopy part was holding us back -he wanted to "go" in his pull-ups!! One day it just clicked. I didn't do anything different - the light just came on. I definitely feel for you- I thought I would go crazy. I had him go naked and sit on towels.....it's maddening. Good news - it will be much easier w/ your daughter!! Best of luck... L.

Hi! My son did the same thing 13 years ago. Our solution was to not use pullups anymore, and I put him in the thick cloth underwear. He could feel the poop and didn't like it. In a week he had finished potty-training. I thought he would never get trained, but don't give up!

With my boys, I got lots of hot wheel cars from Wal Mart and put them in a bag, so that every single time they went, they got to pick out a new car. Of course, once they were used to it, the toys ran out and of course they were already using the bathroom. If you just take $10 and go buy some cars (which usually run about 97 cents), it shouldn't take long. You just have to find what it is he likes. There are many things to pick from that are less than a dollar. My pediatrician said that they bought several items from the dollar store and that is how they potty trained their kids.

hey M....i am a 29 yr old stay at home mom of one boy - just turned 2 in feb. everyone told me he was too young to start potty training, but he took a great interest in it, so i figured i'd give it a shot. ha wears a pull up @ night and during nap, but other than that, he's in "big boys" - still having an accident here and there, but "trained" for the most part. i found that being really laid back about it - making sure to not put any kind of stress on him - helped the most. we made it fun - he likes to tell me his poopy needs to swim around in the potty - i know - gross! but he thinks it's great! i gently remind him that going in his pants is "yucky" - and he now agrees. i do find that when we venture out of the house, i need to remind him more often to stop and use the bathroom - he's not big on public restrooms, so i'd try and master it at home first. also - does he have a little potty? my son had trouble going in the big potty at first b/c he couldn't get any leverage with his feet dangling, not being able to touch the floor. my son started out pooping in the little potty for about 3 weeks and then graduated to the adult potty. just some suggestions...sorry to ramble! hang in there - he WILL get it! PS: I saw a pediatrician on the "Today Show" that said children are not considered "delayed" in potty training until their 4th birthday...something to make you feel better!

Dear M.:
Have you tried the reward system? It worked great when I potty traned my four children. Here is how it works: everytime he goes to the potty reweard him with a little treat. It could be anything that he really likes.But, he can only have it if he goes potty! Something small. I used little cowboys and indians or soldier toys for my sons. They are both really inexpensive. You can buy a bag of the toys at the dollar store. I used to have my children sit on the couch after they went potty and close their eyes and I would give them their surprise treat every time they went potty. Make a reallly big deal about going potty and praise them. It may sound strange but it worked for my children.
Good luck,
K.
The MOM Team
www.enhanceyourlifeonline.com

First, when you talk to your son about going ot the bathroom and body parts, call them what they are. If he hears other moms say poop and you call it stinky, then he might get confused as to what you are talking about or he might think something is wrong with him cause he stinks and other kids don't. A friend of mine went through this with her daughter. She called girl body parts woohoos and tinkle for pee and her daughter thought something was "different" with her and didn't want to so everyone she was strang by using the toilet.

Have you tried getting him to sit on the toilet with a book so he can just relax while sitting there? Or if he goes about the same time every day, have him get there about 5 mins sooner and just sit and wait. Most kids don't know how to use the muscles that help push the BM out. Well, they know how to use it but not to acctually think about it like you or I do when we go.

Walmart also sells a potty training kit and I got one for my son only becasue he is strating ot get intrested in the potty and a friend of mine got one for her almost 3yr old son and she has see him make improvemnts in the bathroom. He is the link and also, my local store has it on clearance right now for $5!! http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6115641

Good luck!!
~S.

I have a 28 month old son and a 9 month old daughter so I'm not ready for potty training yet. We do have several playgroup friends that are already potty trained so we talk alot about it. I was referred to the book, Potty/Toilet Training In Less Than A Day and told that covers the process well. One lady I know PT'd 5 of her 6 kids using their processes at 18 months. Good luck and keep in mind he'll be PT'd soon as there are no kindergartners in diapers!

If your using pull-ups or seomthing like them, I would say to stop. I was in the same position and used real underware. The underware will make him feel like a big boy and he won't like the feeling. Pull-ups are kind of like diapers so they do not feel the wetness and stickieness as much. With real underware they feel everything. Two weeks after I made the switch he was completely potty trained.

Make it fun for him. The one thing three year olds understand more than anything is food. What works for me is the Pop-Ice popsicles. Kids will do anything for those. If you don't give it to him often, it will be a special treat for him when he goes. Also if you have time during your daughter naptime, come up with a special game for just the 2 of you as a reward for him going poo-poo. They really respond well to the popsicles and the special mommy time.

Please share the advice you get. My grandson is 3 yrs old and still not potty trained. Thanks, H.

Hi M.,

The reward system never worked for my son. He'd pee a drop or two and want his reward. He did potty after all. It may work for your son, it does for many. It's the advice I got most from friends and family. But I agree with the response that they do get it. The light comes on. Most importantly stay the course. Be firm but not pushy. I found that making a really big deal out of going #2 helped. High 5s, etc. I'd call the grandparents and ask them to give my son a call. One day I caught Max crouching in the corner because that was his M O. It was a fifty fifty shot if you'd get him to the bathroom. Anyway he wanted my husband to come with him and football was on. So I brought the potty into the living room which is something I'd never done before and never did again. Max used the potty and that was the the beginning of big boy undies. Not that we didn't have an accident or two. But accidents happen and it's nothing to be ashamed of. He was just over 3 at the time. I am now starting to potty train my daughter so good luck to both of us.

I went thru the same thin and was convinced my son would go to colege in a diaper :) This helped and in just a few days of doing it (great for the weekend) it worked and it just clicked. Take his pants off - have nothing on the bottom. Feel free to put blankets on the couch. Luckily we have hard wood floors. He did have a pee pee accident even though he had been doing that in the toilet. I explained that Iwanted it to be easy for him to go ppop like a big boy. We never had a poop accident with no pants. He felt it and rqan for the toilet. You will have to keep the pants off as long as you can and maybe do it every weekend or evening just ot get him aware. It worked for us in a very short period of time. It did however gross out my mother -in law :)

Hi M.,

I had my children help me design and decorate a "Potty Box". We found a large box that has a seperate top on it. We wrapped it with wrapping paper, put stickers and glitter on it, drew pictures on it, put big bows on it, etc. Inside, I put a lot of cheap Dollar Store toys in it. If/when my children would go potty, they were able to pick a prize out of the Potty Box. It worked well!!!! They enjoyed decorating it and going for the prize once they went potty on the big girl/boy potty. Good luck! It's about time for me to try this technique again with my youngest child.