Naptime Drama... Continued

I have to agree with the other ladies that suggested distracting yourself.
It works wonders for your psyche. Whether it's a movie, something on the computer, somthing in the garden, etc....if you can distract yourself then it's easier to tune out the screaming.

You're not abandoning him. You're helping him. He's tired. And trust me, you're his world, so he may get mad, but he'll still love you just as much when he wakes up - rested! :)

It's great that you recognize that this is your issue. I'm working through a similar one regarding leaving DS with a babysitter. I hate listening to him cry for mama when we walk out the door. Yet everytime we do, the sitter tells me he was just fine 5 minutes later. It's my problem, not his. It's just about forcing yourself to do it!

Hi G.,

It was around this age that I had to change how I was giving naps for my kids because they are able to stay awake longer. I put on a movie (Disney or something of the sort) and have them lay down and within just a short time, they're asleep.

My son was the same in that he would not go to sleep without me first rocking him when he was a baby, then when he was almost 2 we got it down to just sitting with him until he fell asleep. This was incredibly draining as I would sometimes sit in his room for an hour and a half before he fell asleep and if I got up too soon, he was wide awake and screaming hysterically until I came back, which is, as you say, really difficult to take. There's crying it out, then there are the kids who scream hysterically. Unless you have one of those, you have no idea what it's like and how it completely frazzles the nerves. Once when I was staying with a friend he was chiding me on how we really needed to let our son cry it out (his three kids all went down no problem). So I said, sure, hey, if you don't think your kids will be bothered by it, I'll let him cry. Well, within 30 seconds, my friend was saying, "he sounds like something's wrong up there, don't you think you should go get him?" When I explained that no, this was just the way our son "cried it out", he agreed that maybe his kids would be bothered by it after all... Hmmm... Anyway, needless to say we tried everything. But then I got pregnant with twins and knew I wouldn't have the time to sit with him for hours on end to get him to sleep. As it was, just before hte twins were born, when he was 2 and a half, he gave up napping altogether so we instituted quiet time, which meant that he didn't have to sleep, but he had to stay in his room and sometimes I would even put on a CD for him to listen to during quiet time. Before that, however, we made a sticker chart and gave him a sticker for each time he went to sleep alone. After 10 stickers, he got a new toy (something small for under $3). Anyway, we only reached the 10 stickers three times before he got the hang of it and started going to bed on his own without needing me. Fortunately he never regressed when the babies were born either. Also, another thing that really helped us was getting him a big-boy bed. I got the feeling he always felt confined in his crib and with this new bed he was totally happy and content to stay in bed at night. Fortunately, too, he was not one to get out of bed over and over again. I think he just liked the idea that he could get out if he needed to.
You also mentioned that you are trying to wean him from needing milk or nursing at bedtime (can't remember which). I had a friend who was still nursing her 2 and a half year old daughter every two hours at night. When she asked for advice I told her to use the same principles you would if your child was asking for chocolate bars. Just say no. You wouldn't give your son chocolate before bed, so.... Of course you don't just say no, but something like "we don't drink mommy's milk before bed anymore..."
Anyway, good luck with it all! It can be very trying, I know!

Well, true is that is better if he learn to put him self to sleep. Is not only about sleeping but about setting rules and good habits.
But, if you are not ready and he knows. Is not use to let him cry if you know you will be going for him. I think doing that it does more damage than lay down with him. There many approches to put your baby to sleep.
There are moms that don't like to let their babies cry and will sleep with them until they fall sleep, or will rock them, etc.
If you can't or wan't let your baby cry, is ok, just be aware that the older he gets the more difficult will be for both of you to brake old habits.
If you think you will have the patience and the time to deal with this at the age of 5 or 6, then go for, eventually he will want sleep alone.
If you want to know, I sleep with my younger daughter until she was 4!!
I didn't want to do that again with my new baby because I know what is like, and with my baby I let her cry, it was hard but not for too long. Once that she understood that she had to sleep on her own, I can now spoil her every once in a while and sing her to sleep.
Is up to you.
I think they both love me, because sleep time is just a tiny part of what I do for them, and they know that.
My husband never scream, I do, however, he ask me how come my kids kiss me a lot more than they kiss him, and I say because I may scream when they do something bad but I kiss them a lot more just for nothing.

I agree with the basically letting them cry it out - I do this with my daughter who is also 2.5 I put up a baby gate - yes, she could get out, but I think she likes the feeling of security it gives her. I don't even try to make her lay down. She basically plays in her room until she is tired and then goes to sleep, sometimes on the floor, but usually in her bed. My son, who is almost 4 and still needs a nap, will sometimes fight naptime. With him I tell him that he needs to stay in his room it's naptime, blah blah... After a suitable amount of time - usually an hour to an hour and a half - I'll go up and get him. I think that taking away the "you have to take a nap" gives them the choice and a lot of times that is all they want at 2.

I always find it helpful to have an engrossing project when I put my daughter down for a nap or have to send her to her room, something that can entertain me for an hour but be put away at any minute. For instance, now I'm working on a quilt and researching pirates. If I have something definite to do, I find it easier to keep her antics from playing with my emotions. And every time, even though I have moments where I think "What I am doing to my child?", when she's done, she comes over to me and puts her arms around my neck sort of like an apology. I think it actually makes us both stronger.

My daughter isn't quite old enough to do this yet. But, I do have experience with my twin neice and nephew who are now 2 yrs old. They do the same thing, screaming yelling, fighting each other, all for one of us (mom or myself) to come and get them. After 3 mths of this we asked the pediatrician for help on this. We were told that if we can't stand to hear the screaming and yelling, then turn on the t.v. put on head phones, go outside, anything to get away from it. So while I sat patiently in the living room listening to them scream and yell my sister would go work in the garden, run to the store, or do anything out of hearing range. Sometimes we would take turns, but honestly hearing them cry didn't bother me at all. That way one of us was always able to hear if anything was seriously wrong, and after a week of doing this, they would go to sleep within 5-10 min instead of 45 min of screaming and us cooing. My sister was also afraid that it would damage the trust, but really the pediatrician stated that it is not a big deal at all at 2 yrs old. Sometimes her son would wake up mad at her, but it would soon be over with a hug and a kiss and an explanation that he needed his nap to grow up and be a big boy. Now just to get rid of the binkies lol. GL!