Nap Baby Nap

Updated on February 16, 2008
J.L. asks from Robstown, TX
31 answers

I am wondering if anyone has some new suggestions as to how I can get my daughter to start napping again. She was pretty good about it before she hit 1 and 1/2 and now just about to turn 2 she refuses and is about to break her bed jumping on it until I give in and go get her. Here's what I've tried: keeping her up late and waking her early, bath before nap, extreme play--wear out sessions, no sugars, letting her "rest" by putting her in her bed and leaving her be for an hour or so, but nothing works. I need her to nap so that her afternoons are more mellow instead of cranky and I can get some housework done uninterrupted. Besides, she needs the rest, right?

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R.C.

answers from Houston on

Here are some things you can do.

If you need the time alone, she can have "quiet time" or "momma needs a rest time" in her room. Explain to her that she can CANNOT sleep, but instead should 'read' a book or choose some toys to play with quietly *on the bed* A bit of reverse psychology! If she does fall asleep, don't punish her, just say "try harder to stay awake tomorrow!"

All 3 of mine outgrew their naps by 2yo. It is difficult. Edge up the bedtime just a little. She will know what you are doing if you make a large change in bedtime. Take her out for a walk, and play *outside* as much as you can. Don't make a big deal about it.

If you notice her being excessively cranky / obnoxious / and misbehaving, she may be getting her 2 yr molars in, - very painful!

Just remember, this will pass. It is a phase she is going through - and you too! Maybe get a little break rom a Mother's helper to keep her occupied and do the outside things if you need to do things inside.

Good luck, let us know what happens!

A little about me:
Working AP Mom to 3 lovely teenagers - they get better with age!

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Not necessarily, unfortunately. My oldest daughter quit napping right before 2 and it was much harder on me than her. When toddlers give up their afternoon nap there is usally some overlap where they get a little overtired and cranky in the p.m. but don't really need a solid 1 hr. nap. I did have pretty good success at getting her to spend some time in her room each afternoon for "quiet time" with books, etc. It was kind of a deal where I wouldn't force her to lie down and sleep (as if I could) if she would play in her room quietly for 30 min. This helped with the afternoon crankiness, too--and sometimes, she would actually fall asleep for a while. On the plus side, she did go to bed earlier so my husband and I got some uninterrupted time together.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

I start playing the Einstein lullaby CD to let them know it is time to wind down. I have had to resort to putting them in the stroller, even pushed them around in the house if the weather is bad. So far, it has worked when nothing else gets them to sleep.

I hope it helps.

M. K

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J.J.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I hate to break it to you, but no--she might not need the rest. :-) Different children need different amounts of sleep at different times, which is why I think books that try to buttonhole every child into specific hours based on age are useless and could ultimately cause more harm than good. Even for infants, doctors will tell you that the amount of sleep you're being told they need is only an AVERAGE--actuality covers a wide range. As adults, we talk about being morning people or night people--why would we think our children are all the same?

My son is almost 3, and it's clear that nap time is a thing of the past (I'm just grateful it's lasted this long). But we always required him to stay in his crib until a set time, so that I could have some time to myself as well. We've stopped calling it nap time now and refer to it as "quiet time." He still has to go to his room, and we go through the whole night time routine--brush teeth, read a book, sing a song, say our prayer--and he usually starts out in his toddler bed under his blanket, but that doesn't last long. He's got toys, books, and stuffed animals up there to keep him occupied, and sometimes, he actually takes a nap! He goes to "school" 4 days a week, and he does the same thing at nap time there--he doesn't sleep so they have him do a quiet activity by himself. We did worry that allowing him to have toys up there and setting the standard that the bedroom is for playing (vice his playroom) would mean he'd play all night and not sleep, but he still sleeps just as well, and we're both happy because we've had some time to ourselves but we haven't spent hours battling over him sleeping. Try giving her the okay to do anything she wants in her room (except jumping on the bed), but she has to stay there until you get her. It'll take a while--we had an adjustment period when our son moved to a toddler bed and had the ability to get out by himself--but we stuck with it and it took.

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

Sounds familiar!! I can only offer a few suggestions:

Allow her to read books in bed. If she can't for very long...you might try a visual timer. Place the timer in her room. Some children don't do well with verbal time frames...it's too abstract and there seems to be NO END for them. However, a visual timer (lakeshore learning store) will show her the time going by and she will be empowered to know when her naptime is going to end. We tried this with both of my children and eventually (only a few days) they started napping again. You can start with a small amount of time on the first day, offer new books, and increase the time each naptime.

I have a two year old who does not understand time frames so this visual timer works well! Even my 3-year-old does better in "time out" when I turn on the timer.

Good Luck! The hardest job in the world is being a GREAT MOM!

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

My oldest daughter very rarely napped after she turned two. The only time she would fall asleep is when I had to run an errand in the late afternoon, she would fall asleep in the car. The days were long, but we got through that time. I tried everything as well. She is 7 1/2 now. As far as getting some housework done, maybe you could get her to help--sorting laundry, "cleaning" windows, etc. We got my daughter a play vacuum and she would get it out everytime I used mine. Not all children fit into a perfect "box" like the books say or the doctors say.

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P.S.

answers from San Angelo on

J.,

Just a couple of things....try reading to her at nap time or put her in your bed and rub her back, feet, etc. She needs to wind down and relax. She knows it's nap time mom. Kind of like bedtime when she's older and doesn't or can't get to sleep.....can I have a drink of water? Mommy I have to go potty? Daddy I'm hungry. Can I have my teddy bear or whatever toy they are clinging to that day.

She wants you mom. So....give her some of your time. Reading to her will help her later in school and she will grasp life better. Rubbing her back or tummy or feet will relax her. Come on....what woman doesn't love to have a back rub!! I always fall asleep myself or refuse to move cause I'm enjoying the moment!! Same for kids.

I have rubbed my children's backs and feet for over 24 yrs. They are not spoiled, they are loved and I only do it when they ask. It's a family tradition now, they all know it too (24, 18, 14, 8, and 6). They often will talk about their day, their friends or what's going to happen in school, sports, etc.

Try it.....it just might make your life a little bit easier.

Good Luck!!!!!!
P.

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V.N.

answers from El Paso on

I noticed last time I visited my daughter that my grandson some days didn't take a nap, however, he still had nap time.
He had to play quietly in his room for the amount of time that he usually napped. It saved alot of aggravation, kept the schedule and sometimes he would fall asleep anyway.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

My dear J.,

I totally understand. It is nearly impossible to get a toddler to take a nap especially if you say the word NAP. Us mommys need that quite time to recover our sanity and patience. These are some of the things I have tried. Try calling it taking a rest or quiet time. You can give her a book to look at while she is in bed. You can tell her that mommy is tired and needs a rest and it would make you happy if she would stay quiet in her room and rest too. You could also make a game out of it by saying the first one asleep gets a surprise. For this you have to stay a while until she is asleep and after she wakes up you can giver her a sticker or something.

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A.B.

answers from Houston on

Dear J. -

There is an amazaing book that saved my like, or at least my sanity, called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I picked up mine at Target, and it's aslo available on Amazon.com. Over-tired children have a much harder time napping or sleeping as many hours as they need. The most helpful thing about this book is the troubleshooting section, which will allow you "fix" your current napping challenge and thus give you an opportunity to read the rest of the book.

I have 2 1/2 year old triplets who share a room, and thanks to the tips in this book, they are still napping 2 hours a day and sleeping approx 10.5 hours a night. Contrary to what makes the most common sense, an ealier bedtime will result in a more rested child that sleeps longer and naps more easily. Don't doubt the 5:30 PM bedtime for kick-starting your daughter's imporved sleep habits. I did it and it really worked! Whenever my children start having problems getting up too early or napping, I revert back to an early bedtime for a couple of days and that solves the problem.

Best of luck to you,

A.

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P.E.

answers from Austin on

I am hesitant to give any mom "advice," but I found the Babywise, Toddlerwise books helpful. Do you have a predictable daily routine? I personally am rather unstructured and undisciplined, but kids really seem to thrive in structure. They also need boundaries, although they will push against them constantly. You're moving into the age with your daughter where one of you will become the "boss," and it's really needful that that be you, and not her. I'm sure you already know that, but I think so much of the time we worry that we're going to hurt them somehow by being strict. I didn't have trouble with my son escaping from his crib, but if your daughter is escaping, you might try a pack and play for naps...only a blanky, nothing inside to climb up on. I tended to give my son too much freedom than he could handle for his age, so everything was insane until I read Toddlerwise and the author discussed responsibility levels that Toddlers are capable of handling and the results of giving them too much for their age. Things got TONS better when I reigned him in and gave him more appropriate boundaries. I hope this helps...it might at least give you some ideas. Parenthood is tough b/c there's no right way to do it. It's helpful to have the wisdom of the elders via books, grandparents or mentors. Hang in there!

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

I have found a wonderful way to put the children to nap not only a nap time story but a few drops of Lavender Oil that calms them and lets tham go right out. My children run when they see the Lavendar Oil in my hand Ha Ha they know that will put them out. I also put soft sweet music and they start to relax.
Good Luck
C. ( Rose)

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I hate to break it to you, but I have 4 kids and they all stopped napping between 14 months and 2 yrs. I thought kids were suppose to nap until Kindergarten! Boy, did my kids teach me wrong!!

When my oldest (now 13) started kindergarten they used to still do naps (most kindergartens don't do nap time anymore) and we had a horrible time because the teacher insisted he was to nap and he quit taking naps at 14 months! My almost 2 yr old will still nap if the moon and stars all line up perfectly but with an almost 3 yr old running around, it is next to impossible for that to happen.

I would suggest letting her not nap so that she will sleep longer at night and then either doing your work after she goes to bed or waking up before her to do them.

I sure wish someone would make me nap during the day!!

Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

You can't make her sleep. I would just start with a rest time. You can also try laying down with her and see if she will fall asleep.

All kids have different sleep needs, and she may just not need her nap at this point.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

I agree with the other moms, I have a 3 y.o. daughter who has been resisting nap times for a year. Keep a schedule, it solves alot of problems. My phrase for my daughter is "You don't have to sleep, but you do have to stay in bed". Call it "rest time" or "room time". I've had days where my daughter did not sleep at all during her nap time, but she stayed in her crib playing contentedly, or looking at small books. Also, take out any toys that may be distracting her. Only allow one or two stuffed animals or small books. I agree that earlier bed times promote better daytime rests. I try to get her to bed by 8pm and she naturally wakes up around 7 pm, with a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Late naps (after 4 pm) disrupt nighttime sleep schedule, so if she won't nap early, put her to bed earlier like the other moms suggested.
Good luck! BTW, don't let her manipulate you! You are the mom and you know she needs her sleep to be healthy and happy.
C. M.

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

Although mine were good nap takers, I know so many who have not been, my granddaughter included!

since i am a firm believer of mom getting a brief break, for naptime and bedtime, i told my kids that they had to go and stay in their rooms for one hour and play quietly, but they did not "have to" go to sleep. (I would have them assist me is selecting appropriate "quiet time" toys they could play with during this hour interval. You can even allow them to set a clock for the "one hour". Often, if they are truly tired - they will fall asleep once they are "still" for more than 5 min. (who cares if they fall asleep on the floor - haha)If they dont fall asleep with this - you obviously hvae one of those kids who just doesnt wind down - but if you can get them to stay in their room - then perhaps you will get a little bit of a break. good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is doing the same thing. She has decided that when I put her in the crib, it is playtime. She plays, sings, JUMPS like crazy.
I found that if she actually holds still long enough with her eyes closed (usually 5-10 minutes), she will fall asleep. The trick is to get her to hold still and close her eyes. So, I taught her how to physically do those things during play time.
At nap time, I sit in the room and tell her "hold still, close your eyes" every time she moves. If I leave the room before she is asleep, she'll just start jumping again. The first few days were a battle to get her to obey my words, but now she understands that I'm not leaving and she is not playing. The amount of time that I have to sit in there is getting shorter and shorter each day.
I will not give up nap time until I absolutely have to!
Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My child Justin was the same way. He just didn't need the sleep, I fought with it for a long time just like you, nothing worked. NOTHING! Finally I came to the realization that he just didn't require as much rest as others. We just had some quiet time. We would watch TV together, read books, or even just sit and visit. There were times I needed a nap those are the times we would watch TV togeter. He had to stay on my bed with me and watch a little 30 minute child show and I would power nap, but he had to stay on the bed with me. We reflect back now, he still remembers those "special times" as he calles it now. My Justin is 10 and we still have quiet times when ever we can capture the moment in between his bike, skate board, scooter, baseball... enjoy your quiet time other things will soon be in the way.

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R.S.

answers from Houston on

Recommend a great book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. (ck it out on half.com only 3.99 http://product.half.ebay.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-C...)

Helped us fix all our sleep issues. Make sure going to bed between 6-7pm. Up between 7-8am. Down for nap between 12-1. This is the recommeneded hours for her age. They are the ideal hours when her hormones are set to sleep mode. If you allow her to stay up after these hours she becomes overtired and then her hormones kick into adrenaline mode. Making it impossible for her to fall asleep. I know the early bed time is a shocker but I promise you it works! The book talks more about how sleep begets sleep. The better rested she is the better and easier she will fall asleep. I have two girls, a 2 1/2 yr old and a 7 month old they both sleep through the night and have fantstic naps. Good Luck!

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C.L.

answers from San Antonio on

Great advise on here. I would add that when I can see my toddler is wound up and going to have a hard time napping, I take her into the shower with me. I turn out all the lights and we take a warm shower. It really helps her focus on slowing down and getting ready to sleep. From there nap isn't such a struggle. only problem, you might want a nap too!!

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L.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My son will be 2 in June. Right before nap time, I change my son into something comfortable. I give him his sippy cup with water and I put a blanket over his window to make it really dark. I talk to him very softly and I close the door to his room. If he fusses or cries for more than a couple of minutes, I go back in, rub his back and walk out. Usually that's all it takes.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My son began outgrowing his naps around 2 years old as well and everything I tried backfired (keeping up later; waking earlier; etc..). Yet he always would fall asleep when I least expected it or even wanted him to. I figured out that on the days he did nap were the days he slept the most at night, so I quit trying to keep him up in the evening and I let him sleep until he woke up in the morning and almost 90% of the time he would nap that day. On the days he wouldn't actually nap he did have to lay down for at least 30-60 minutes with a video or picture books and music CD.

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M.F.

answers from Austin on

You may want to try putting a 'special nap mat' on the floor like they do in daycares. Make it special for her by giving her a nap stuffed animal and/or a blankie to sleep with. I find that my 2 year old son responds best to reading a few stories prior to nap and turning on a sound machine (that I bought at Target for $10).

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J.E.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like she might be overdone. Maybe going to bed earlier and up earlier so that she isn't running on fumes? Rather than keeping her up later - I have found that late nights make for worse sleep habits than a regular sleep schedule.

Also, they sell Night-Night tea (organic) for children in Randall's and probably in Krogers. You can reuse the teabag a couple of times - but it is soothing. Furtheremore, you could always really childproof her room and just institute quiet time for an hour each afternoon. Give her some books or soft toys and tell her she doesn't need to sleep but does need to stay in her bed. I don't know what to tell you about the jumping on the bed - but as long as she is not screaming and is content to self entertain, is there a problem?

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N.M.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I've suggested this same advice to several other women on this site. Get a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I found a copy at Half Price Books. This doc says to put them to bed super early. Sleep begets sleep. Staying up later doesn't work because they get overtired and can't settle down to sleep. Your body gets into a weird mode and won't let you rest. I notice this with my sleep also. If I'm up late and busy, once I try to sleep it's long in coming. So starting tonight, put your daughter to bed an hour or two earlier than her regular time. This may be right after dinner. She probably won't wake until her usual time in the AM. Don't worry about that. If she does wake earlier, it shouldn't last more than a day or two. Continue to put her down for a nap at the usual time also. Once her night sleep catches back up, then the nap should follow. Don't expect the nap in the first day or two, but it will happen. This worked with my daughter when she was two. Unfortunately, you'll go through this many more times when your regular routine gets off. It was especially tough for us during the holidays. Try not to be lured in to thinking that your daughter just doesn't need a nap anymore and needs less sleep. That is very very rarely the case. Kids your daughter's age need a total of 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day. Parents who say differently are just getting bad advice and don't realize how different their kids moods would be with more sleep. I have a friend with a little boy that is extremely whiny and cranky most of the time. He doesn't get to bed until she does at 10:30 PM and gets up around 7 AM with no naps. No wonder he's such a hard kid to be around! I've tried to explain that he may just need more sleep, but somehow she's not convinced and gives in to him. She isn't firm about bed times and has never tried the "earlier to bed idea". I hope you have different results. Good luck.

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L.F.

answers from Austin on

She may have outgrown naps.. mine did at about 2. It's hard to get used to, but I learned to love the earlier bedtime.

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K.H.

answers from Austin on

Hi J.,

I have a suggestion. It sounds like she could be overtired. I would be consistent with your bedtime. Try 6:30-7:00 and I would be consistent with your wake up time. Believe it or not keeping her up late and waking her up early can make her overtired and unwilling to go to sleep during the day. At 2 she should have 1 nap around 1:00 and should be around 2 hours. I would have her nap at the same time everyday. Don't give in. If she jumps in her bed go in after 15 minutes and tell her it is nap time lay her back down with her favorite blanket and walk out. If she continues keep going in but maybe extend it 5 minutes each time. It may take 5 days but she should start to nap again. A really good book you may like to read is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It gives pretty good suggestions. I hope this helps.

K.

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M.G.

answers from Houston on

I have 2 boys 6 & 8. They are both completely different in every way! With my oldest, as he would outgrow napping, I would have him just lay on his bed & watch a movie & tell him he had to lay there... he didnt have to go to sleep but he did have to stay on his bed for half an hour to an hour. (He would sometimes fall asleep & sometimes not ... at least he stayed on his bed though). Now as for my baby... he liked to lay on my back. I know that sounds nutty but he loved it. I would lay on the bed (or couch) & let him lay on my back. 99% of the time he would fall fast asleep & I could gently roll out from under him & go do my 'mama duties' & sometimes I would just seize the moment & have a nap myself. The bonus of him being on my back was once he woke up & moved I would wake up. Those are the things that worked for us. Good luck & God bless!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

When mine were small it was time consuming for me, but I would read them a story (while in bed) than sit beside them and meke them keep their eyes closed. Everytime they would flutter and open, I'ed just say "close your eyes". After a few minutes of closed eyes, they'ed go to sleep. You just have to be firm and consistant.

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D.G.

answers from Corpus Christi on

well, I have a 22 month old boy and I can totally relate...I have tried several things also and just read all the time. What I have read is some kids will nap until they are 4 or so and others just have energy. The books also say that when they are going thru growth spurts and teething those last molors, their nap time will suffer, but only for a little while. I will encourage him to get a nap by laying him down with me and other times, he wont even agree to that..I dont like to put him in bed with me, but it does the trick. Good luck and try to hold her and sing a little...sometimes a book will also mellow them out...

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C.S.

answers from Austin on

have you ever watched "Super Nanny?" i love that show, and while it certainly borders on the extreme, there are lots of tips on how to get your kids to do just about anything. mainly her instructions are to be firm and don't give in and the kiddos will get it sooner or later...but you have to be strong and be able to say no and stick with it.

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