Nanny:2 Weeks Notice??? or Stick It Out???

H.,

I feel your pain and I have been in your shoes. I was a private nanny for two years before I had my own daughter. I was live-in which was the worst. I ended up spending about 80 hours a week or more caring for the child. Basically because I was there in the house, I would always get added hours/duty but not extra pay. I was spending more time with this child than its own mother. I spent two years keeping my mouth shut because I truly loved the child and knew that what they were paying me would never buy them the same quality childcare for all the hours they needed and I didn't want the little girl to suffer because of it. It was a bad decision for me. I ended up practically having a nervous breakdown after two years from exhaustion. When I finally got up the courage to give my notice (which was going to be 3 months--more than a fair amount of time) the mom took it so bad, she screamed at me for an hour about how I was deserting her child and ruining her life. She kicked me out of the house in a week and I was left with nothing.

It was a terrible ordeal, but I got through it. I found temporary nanny positions until I could build up my resume and eventually had my own daughter and started a daycare in my home. It wasn't easy, but at least I had piece of mind. Childcare is one of the hardest jobs you can ever do, and when you are working for someone that treats you poorly it can be unbearable. As hard as it is, you have to make the best decision for you and your child. Don't let this family's "need" cloud your best judgement. You deserve to work in an environment that appreciates the hard work you do and rewards you accordingly. I would have a sit down with this mom (sans kids) and lay all your cards on the table. Out line exactly what you need to change to continue in the position. Set up a trial period for these things to happen and then come back together and reevaluate. If she doesn't take you seriously or scoffs at the things you want, give her your two week then and there. Trust me, save yourself the stress and heartache of working for an unappreciative family. There are lots of great families out there that want a quality provider and treat you as you deserve. I am not saying this because of the money. (I actually charge much less than the average provider)Good luck and send me a message if you ever want to talk!

I am not a nanny, but I also have a job in which I am being underpaid and the woman is never satisfied. It's really annoying. I know I could earn more elsewhere and be treated better. However, I also know jobs are hard to come by these days. I'm sure childcare is a little more demanding... But I grin and bear it, until I find something to replace it. I agree with the other poster, please give a notice to the family, I just say wait until you get a job. Unless you don't have to have a job.

Think of common courtesy this way:

What if she thought you were a horrible nanny and, without any reason or justification, just up and fired you without any notice? Would you think that was fair? In my opinion, if it were the employer who was severing the relationship, the right thing to do would be to let the nanny know that her services were being terminated as of <two weeks or whatever> from now to give the nanny an opportunity to try and find employment elsewhere.

You should extend the same courtesy to your employer. It's just the right thing to do. And, don't forget, if you burn this bridge especially after you "butted heads", she might not have good things to say about you if someone asks her for a reference.

I would recommend talking to the parents. I work with au pairs and host families in the area and when a host parent or au pair calls me about a situation going on I always suggest to them to talk to the family. Open communication is key to any good relationship and if you want to continue as a nanny and be happy you need to talk to them. Definately do not just walk out on them. It will be even more difficult to find another job once someone finds out you gave your last family no notice. You do need to consider your own feelings and you will never be happy until you get everything off your chest. good luck!