Nanny Quitting

Can you give her a situation where you can give her something like, "up to two months"? Then she has ample time to try to find another situation, and you have a definite end date. Can you recommend anyone? Would they be open to an au pair situation?
Best of luck!

I was a live in nanny and also watch kids in my home. When I was a nanny I gave 3 months notice(I was with them for almost 4 years). As an inhome child care provider , just yeasterday I gave a 1 months notice that I will be done watching the kids as of june 1st. So I think between 1-3 months is very reasonable. There are so many options nowdays, as far as child care goes, they will have no problem finding somebody nice in that timeframe.

Lol! I apologize....but I used to be a nanny (now stay at home with my wonderful 10 month old daughter) so this made me laugh....and then it turned my stomach! I remember those feelings!
You need to be prepared to stay as long as they need. At LEAST 60 days if possible. You can also volunteer to stay for two weeks while the new nanny comes in (so you'd both be there or could do 1/2 days as well) to help transition the children. Keep in mind (and remind the parents) that the longer you stay the harder it will be for that 2 year old to transition. Is it possible to make a solid "playdate" with that child and yours so that you can tell them "I'll see you every Tuesday night!"? I still see "my kids" on a weekly basis even though I've haven't been their nanny for 3 years. I was just reminiscing with their mom the other day on how their son was just learning to walk when I started working for them and now my own daughter is almost at that point!!! Oh....how time flies! Take advantage of it and enjoy the time with your own kids...if you can!

Seems to me, you're in an pretty good position. You can tell them, professionally, I'd like to offer you 30-60 days notice perhaps with some overlap time to assist in the training and transition of your new hire. As a friend, I would like to keep in touch and arrange a regular playdate for our children to maintain contact and ease the transitions of all the changes going on. Don't stress about it too much. Stress is contagious. The nicest thing you can do for the mother (who may have some hormonal/emotional responses) is to remain calm and professional, yet friendly about what you need for you and your family. Best wishes.

Talk to these people like an adult. Just go to them and say "I like you guys, I want to remain friends, but this situation makes me a little crazy and I really want to try being a stay at home mom for a little while. I don't mind being an occasional back-up person when your regular helper calls in sick, or something, but I think we need to figure out a date for a last day working for y'all all the time. I am somewhat flexible and don't want to leave you in the lurch, while also being excited to just be me and my young'un for a while. Can you please start the process of looking for a replacement immediately? I don't want to feel like I have to leave you with a hard deadline like two weeks notice you give at a corporate job, but sooner rather than later would be very much appreciated, too. Thanks for understanding."

If given a month, they haven't found someone, then you consider the sterner talk about really needing to do this for yourself, and maybe it's time to pick a date and stick to it.

They will appreciate the flexibility and it stands the best chance of keeping the friendship.

I am a nanny currently, and have been for 10 years now. I would give them a 2 month notice. "I really like your family, and I want our kids to remain friends, as I do with you." I really feel 2 monthes (June 30th) would give them enough time to find a new nanny, or find alternative arrangements. Refer them to the local nanny agency.

Offer to help her acclimate a new nanny and help interview the new person too. Families find that helpful. Being a nanny

I'd recommend doing what is best for your family - not theirs.

We had an in-home baby sitter until our 2nd child was 21 months. She took our choice to move to an organized day care really hard. It was better for us. She took it personally and has chosen not to stay in touch because she couldn't get past us doing what was in our best interest. We paid her for 4 weeks she never worked to help her find something - she cashed the checks and never looked back.

Having family in the NOVA area (and having grown up there), I know it's not as easy to find accommodations for kids as it is here in Indiana. So, I'd let her know soon and be prepared with a timeline of how you'd like to transition. Just be prepared for her to perhaps not take it well.

Ultimately, it sounds like the mother is very particular and will have a hard time replacing you - but part of your reason to leave may be because she is so demanding, and she'll quickly learn to be a little more flexible.

I'd make it a point to let her know how much you'd like to continue to be part of their lives - if she chooses not to, I'm so sorry - her loss.

Good luck in your decision - follow your heart!

.

I would suggest you tell them right away and give them some kind of time line (so they don't keep you hanging on ~ maybe like 30 - 45 days?). Since your employer isn't due until July, I think if you told them now they would have plenty of time to find a new nanny plus it would give the 2 year old time to get used to the new nanny before baby arrives. Since you have worked for them for a year I'm sure you know what they want and what they need as much as they do -suggest helping them find/interview a new nanny. Suggest staying and help "train" the new nanny in the ways they like things done.

I agree with Almathea and Megan. I would talk to them now, and give them some time, even a couple months, if you have any desire to remain close with them. They are going to need time to find a nanny before the new baby comes, and the more time they have, the better. Hopefully they will be understanding and it won't hurt your friendship. I think offering to be their backup for nanny calling in sick is a very generous idea, and would go a long way towards keeping them as friends.

And just be honest. You really want to be with your own kids for a while, and have been struggling with this decision for a long time, but you don't feel that it is fair to not let them know where your heart is and leave them stuck finding a new nanny with a new baby too. It will be in their best interest to find a new one asap because they will want to see how she is working out and get used to her and have her be prepared for the new baby too. Don't seem wishy washy or give them any room to think you will stay indefinitely, but giving them time to find someone as great as you is the right thing to do for a friend.

Good luck and enjoy being a sahm!

You have to do what you have to do. I would give 1 month of notice.

Do you have a contract that states a specific amount of time you need to give? If not, the standard time a nanny should give to leave a position is 30 days (unless you have a contract that states otherwise). And the same is reversed - the parent should give their nanny 30 days notice.

As a nanny I've had jobs where I've given more notice than that and where I've been give no notice at all (like my last position where they told me on Monday they no longer needed me because they were hiring a live-in and that was the end of that).

Being a SAHM is a huge reason to want to leave any job, in fact one of the greatest reasons. At this point if you were going to give 2 months notice it would be very close to the birth of the the second child, so you either need to stay a set amount of time after the birth or 30 days so that the child has a chance to get use to a new nanny before another huge change hits her.

I disagree with one thing you said. You said you have "no real HUGE reason to stop working"...but being with your four kids is REAL and HUGE. You seem like you are feeling guilty about it and I don't think you should. You need to take care of your family first. I am not a nanny and I have never had a nanny, but I think one month's notice would be generous and responsible. The mom might be upset or angry and you might not stay friendly, but that would be on her, not you. Best Wishes.

The sooner the better!! Especially since they have another baby on the way...

I have a nanny and I'm also pregnant and to be honest with you, if she quit now, I'd lose my mind! But since you know you're probably not going to get the best reaction, there's no point in delaying the inevitable. Tell her now so she can make arrangments before the new baby comes. Good luck!

I've not been a nanny, but I have done in (my) home professional childcare and I find it is a little unhealthy for the parents & the child to get that attached. I've just recently had to let a little one go b/c we are expecting our 2nd child. The mom just about lost her mind and cried hysterically...but you have to think about it in a healthy perspective. She put her child in a really nice child care center that has smaller classroom/groups that allow them to have more time with each child. It is closer to her job and allows her be right down the street if she wanted to see her child or if she needed to get there in an emergency. What if something were to happen and you were not available for a long span of time? They will learn to adjust. If this mom works then she can find another nanny or a nice child care center that has a more one-on-one care program (small groups). I felt guilty at first, but you still have to remember...you are not the parent and the parent needs to have a plan and manage their own household...you will not be able to be there forever. What is important for you and your family? It does make it feel a little odd between both parties, but you both will adjust and still have a good friendship. I hope this gives you a little encouragement.

Tell them right now but if at all possible, I think you should try to stay on for 6-8 weeks after she has her baby - probably around the start of school in early September. That way, you would be there to help her when she has the baby and follow up with her scheduled items. Then you could be there to help during her postpartum. She can use her maternity leave to find another nanny and when she goes back to work, the new nanny can start with the baby and other child. I know that's a LONG time and you probably want to spend the summer with your children but how would you feel if someone quit on you while you were pregnant??? Most of us are overwhelmed and exhausted when PG anyhow. This would only make it worse. I'm just saying, if at all possible, this time frame would seem best.

Do you have a written contract? If so stick to what is in the contract.
Most employers in "regular" work places require two weeks notice.

Personally I have told my employer as early as 3 months ahead of time, so they had the time to make other arrangements and I was able to train my replacement. Since you main motivation is to stay home with your kids (so no fixed start date) you might give them plenty of advance notice (I am thinking 1-3 months) so that they can start looking.
Just be prepared that they may have somebody new after two weeks and let you go early....

This must be a very difficult situation for you, but in your heart you must know that you have to do what's best for your own children. Explain it to your employer and tell her the truth. Give her at least 6 weeks notice to find someone else and understand if she's a little angry. As far as being friends, express your interest, but it may take her some time to come around. Good luck!