We have had our nanny for almost 10 months and she is leaving to go part time and go back to school. She just turned 25. I'm not sure what to do for her lat day. My husband is done with her and doesn't want to give her anything more. The first day she started she got into a car accident and totaled her car. (She moved here to be with her boyfriend from out of state) She stayed with us for a few weeks...carless. Her boyfriend would come over and stay one night a week. We helped her find a car and she got one over a month into the job. Also helping her with getting a bank account set up amount other stuff. After that she would stay with us a few nights then her boyfriends (until she was able to get an apartment) that never happened. Her boyfriend and her broke up and she lived with us for over 6 months. Rent free and never offered us anything. In that time she got a DUI that I had to get the kids out if bed and try to get her but found out quickly I had to go back at 8:00am (my husband was out of town hat night). I had to use my money to get her out and her car. Found her an attorney and deal with everything that comes with a DUI (I had no idea). She get back with her boyfriend but stayed with us. A month ago she got her new apartment. I asked her what was going on. She said she found an apartment which I was greatful she did, then asked if there was anything else because I just had a feeling and also a asked her to start paying me back for the bail out. She said she thought she was going to move on and looking at other jobs. I said that's fine as long as I have time to find a new nanny and keep the kids happy with a nice transition. We had a month (good thing I asked her). Her other job fell through and she ended up getting scammed and now had no job...meanwhile we found another nanny who could start one month later. I asked if she would like to stay that extra month. She said yes. Now she's leaving 3 days early so she can go to an event with her boyfriend. I haven't mentioned all the other stuff we did for her and worked with her days off needed and DUI stuff. Plus we pay her for all of our vacations and holidays that she doesn't have to work, birthday gifts and just because gifts. Which is a lot. We feel used and are burnt out.
Please give me some advice on what gift or what to do for her last day. (Kids are excited about new nanny too and hopes that AE plays with them more and isn't so mean) my son has a love hate relationship with her and he just turned 3.
This is my first time posting and even finding this site. I really appreciate the advice and help. I don't appreciate the snide remarks and that disrespectful. Just needing advice from those who have had experience. We are new at this nanny thing which is why I was asking the "exit" question. I am a kind hearted person and just tried giving her a chance for all her screw ups. She's a good person just doesn't get life and I'm done trying to help.
I'm definitely not going to get her anything and I have all of you to thank!! I don't ask for help or advice much which is why I probably let this go on far too long. Lesson has been learned...the hard way and we will jot be making the same mistake twice. Thanks Again!
You don't do anything. She was an employee. If you feel like you "need" to do "something" then bake a cake for her last day that says "Good luck!" and send her on her way. JMO. Good luck.
No, she just needs to move on and thank goodness she's leaving. I'd be done with her too, sounds like you adopted another kid...
You don't need to do anything for her. You've already done enough.
No tip. No extra pay. Thank you for your time. Good bye. No reference. Ensure you have all the house keys and car keys back. Heck, I'd change the locks and if you have a security system, change the password. She doesn't sound responsible or trustworthy.
You should feel used and burnt out because that was a whole lotta drama from someone who should have just been an employee. I'd say to have the kids make her cards and maybe make her a plate of brownies or a cake to celebrate and leave it at that.
I'd also suggest that you have your locks rekeyed because she sounds like a train wreck who attracts other train wrecks. You don't want her popping up in the future or having someone else who had access to your keys popping in to take things.
Best of luck with your new nanny.
S.,
Welcome to mamapedia...
I'm sorry - but she would have been gone MONTHS ago. She doesn't NEED any parting gift. Her last paycheck and a thank you. That's it.
In the future?? DO NOT allow a boyfriend to stay the night - I'm sorry - that's the WRONG impression and role model to set for your children, in my opinion.
I do NOT understand why you feel the need to "give" or "do" something for a person your kids feel is mean, who has used your family....are you sure you aren't the nanny and will print this out demanding that the family do MORE for you??? Come on...grow a back bone and tell her GOOD-BYE!!! If ANYONE calls for a reference?? TELL THE TRUTH...DUI, etc. ENOUGH!!!
Um, she wouldn't have been my nanny at all. Our babysitters are amazing and we always give them thank you gifts, but the one who was horrible was told never to come back, not gift, no nothing...my kids are my priority and if I have to take two weeks unpaid leave at work to care for them, that's what I would do.
I'm with the mom thinking maybe troll. No parents, in their right minds, would conitnue to have a person like this as the sole responsible person for their children's well being.
Just a nice goodbye will do.... you have done enough... leave off on a good note but I really don't think you need do anymore..IF you do, then I think that would be totally enabling and be a co-dependent... hence the reason you feel used and burnt out... It's good lesson in that we teach people how to treat us, by bailing her out and allowing such bad behavior, you sent the message that she can do whatever she wants.... with the new nanny.... start a new tradition of guidelines..
oh and I might just ask the old nanny to leave NOW... why wait..
I'd suggest throwing a parade, complete with a brass band.
Not sure why some people feel the need to be so snarky with their replies, geez!!
Anyway, it sounds like you have a kind heart and got taken advantage of. Before giving her her final paycheck I would straighten out the issue with the money she owes you for bailing her out. I would offer to either deduct it from her final paycheck or let her sign a promissory note with the repayment plan clearly spelled out and let her know that you will take her to court for failure to pay. Other than that I would send her on her way. Don't offer to let her stay any longer and do not give her any kind of a parting gift at all.
Hopefully your new nanny is much more responsible.
Why in the world would you give her something?? What a nightmare! A card that says "good luck. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$" is the only thing I'd be giving.
Yeah, I think this has to be a troll. If you were stupid enough to let her do this to you and still think you should give her something, you deserve what you got (and chose to keep!)
Um...nothing.
You do realize that everything you've done - while extremely nice - is well outside the bounds of what standard employment should look like. Personally she should be thanking YOU and giving YOU a gift for all the help you've given her.
Honestly, I would not give her anything else other than her pay and be happy that she's gone.
(My nanny of 6 years just left last month now that both of my kids are in school. We gave her an extra $100 and all wrote heartfelt notes to her, even the kids.)
What a mess that girl is! In the future don't get so involved...people like her need to take care of themselves and not bring their drama into someone else's life. I absolutely cannot believe you let her live with you, let her boyfriend stay the night, let her stay rent free, and actually spent your time helping her with stuff like a bank account and dealing with a DWI. You were letting someone walk all over you. Those were not your problems. Give her a card and wish her well. This is not someone you want to keep working for you in the first place.
normally I'd say yes but under the circumstances...no! You've been too nice.
It's a learning curve - I'm still learning it ourselves. Draw better boundaries before you start the next nanny.
Best wishes!
I just do not get why married women have 25 year old live-ins.
Have not you looked at Lifetime movies?
That is my reply.
I'm with your husband, you have helped her out plenty, I wouldn't give her a good bye gift. You've went beyond what is expected of an employer and really have been taken advantage of.
Wow, no, in this case dont get her anything. For future reference, make sure to set up some ground rules and hopefully covered all your bases with this new nanny.
I'm not sure why you would even consider giving her anything after everything that has gone on and the added expenses. I think a nice card and maybe a drawing from the kids should be the extent of it.
