Please share this information with your friend, as my means of helping her. As a middle child, I can attest to the fact that this young man may feel a little forgotten. Not that anyone has abandoned his feelings or anything like that, but older children do enjoy the benefits of being an 'only child' for a time and of course the younger ones need more attention b/c they're younger. It's not going to school that's bothering the child, that's just a symptom. Children of deployed soldiers suffer from things as uncertainty, fear, longing for their parent, etc. My best advice is a layer of solutions: you should seek the help of those on the base. As a former military wife, I found the wonderful staff at MWE (Moral Welfare and Recreation) to be a great resource. Use what you have. That's what it's there for! The sports activities will be great for your son, and things that get him interested in something he'll enjoy. They should, as they did at Fort McPherson, Ft. Gillem and Ft. Bragg, have bowling alleys, a pool and the libraries too. I was also a Fort McPherson mentor, and visited a youngster who was in trouble at home, for one hour twice a week at her school. She really appreciated it and it make a great difference. The second part of the plan, I believe should include your honest assessment of the situation: Are there stressors that you are undergoing? Children are very perceptive and suffer with you whenever you suffer. Do you give him adequate time and attention? Is there positive interaction between him and his older sibling? Pay close attention to make sure he's being treated fairly. My teens can be very selfish and need my intervention w/patience and being a good role model to our youngest. Lastly, have you spoken w/the teacher about his grades or behavior in class? Is there someone bullying him? Is he struggling w/reading or math? Do you volunteer in his class to make him feel special? Have you gone on any field trips with him? Do you bake cookies for his class or been a voluteer reader once a month? The base daycare should accept drop-ins if your family isn't around or can't chip in on daycare time. I did all of those things, including homeschooling. As his mom you have to use all aggressive means to help him. By all means, monitor what he watches and plays. The television, even some children's shows are full of garbage. Video games can als be violent and negative. So guard your child's mind and spirit. Most of all, you must address this immediately to prevent it from carrying over to your younger children and leading to worse behaviors. Counseling in a group setting or alone is also an option. Get a personal referral, to make sure you know who you're dealing with. You can make it better! I'm thankful for all of our brave soldiers' service, and yours too. You have the three toughest jobs in the world - a mom, wife and wife of a soldier. I appreciate your struggle and send a hug w/this message. You can email me anytime if you need to. I'm praying for all of you, A.
