Myself - Chicago,IL

I would tell her that your not a daycare provider and you can't take her child anymore. from now on when she tries to drop her off don't even let her in the door. Just say its not a good day for us to visit. be firm. not mean just firm. My daughter had a friend who used to just show up early in the morning and say my mom had to go to work but she said I could play here today. I did daycare so she thought it wasn't a big deal. I sent home a note showing my rates and a contract for her to fill out with a hand written note that I had space and she could do it as a drop in (more expensive) or a weekly but no more just showing up lol. that was the end of that. I had a girlfriend who said to me she wanted to do a trade off. if i kept her kids she would then trade and keep mine. but she was never able to do it when i needed it done. so i stopped doing it for her. that friendship fizzled out shortly after that lol

You have to set a boundary and stick to it. Start by telling her you can not baby sit due to family priorities. Schedule a play date with your girls that will invovle the mom to come along too. this sounds like a person you cannot beat around the bush with you may have to be blount and just say i can't watch your daughter any longer due to you not being considerate of my time. better to tell the truth and let her know your bounderies than to allow her to keep doing the same thing over and over. We may have to tell the truth and hurt feelings once and a while but the person will respect you in the long run for it.

I bet she has heard this before, so you probably won't change her if you tell her out right. Just don't have this kid over anymore when it matters if the child gets picked up. Some people are either dense, or inconsiderate, or both and your feelings are never going to be on her radar screen.

So, learn two simple letters and use them when you don't feel like keeping this kid until "whenever." N.O.

M.

Sherry has the best answer I've read.

Tell her you have something scheduled when you do have something scheduled and that if she's late you'll have to charge her your day care rates and have a contract for her to sign.

Good luck to you and yours,

Just don't have her over anymore. It sucks, but that's the only way that this woman will stop taking advantage of your kindness.

I understand where you are coming from on this one for sure. My Step MIL
(I always make sure I throw the Step part in there so everyone realizes she no relation to my husband : ) does the same thing to everyone. She's always dropping her daughter off here or there with no concern for anyone's schedule but her own. She made plans with us two weeks in advance to watch her daughter overnight so she could go out. When it came time to drop her daughter off, the daughter had no idea she was staying with us. Talk about awkward. She's 11 years old and had nothing packed for the night. I was so annoyed. How could she plan with us for weeks and not even tell her daughter. Okay...needed to vent that out.
With that said, I think you need to be open and honest with this mother or she'll never figure it out. The next time she shows up late I would confront her about it. In fact, I would go so far as to sit in your car, and when she pulls up go over to her and ask why was she late? Tell her you had plans, and this isn't the first time you've had to wait on her. Let her know that you have things you need to do as well and need her to be on time. Tell her that you tried to call, but couldn't reach her. Point it all out. Some people can be so dense! Good Luck.
Some people are so oblivious to other people's lives that it drives me nuts sometimes.

You can't change people. I suggest you stop having her child over, be busy, whatever, she is taking advantage of you. She is irresponsible and is obviously doing something somewhere where time really doesn't matter to her.Hopefully I don't have to be specific here...but I'd guess she is either socializing or perhaps she is very needy and not aware of how much her daughter needs her.And the cel phone is probably not on on purpose. Sounds like bad news. I have to say all of this from my own experience. This will go nowhere, so help your daughter find some other friends or put up with it.

I did this one, with my cousin, and her mom went Berserk, she doesnt talk to us anymore (not that I mind). My cousin is my uncle's step-daughter. I agreed to watch her once, ONCE!!!, but all of a sudden I had her every single day of the summer until August at 8 am, and would leave until 10pm. or later!!! Dont even think about money for meals or anything!!!, so one day I had an important event, I talk to the lady that runs a daycare at home, one nice neighbor of ours and explained to her that her mom would pick her up late and that she would cover the fees. When the mom called me, I told her (I had already told her about my event a couple days prior, and tried to reach her before I dropped her daughter @ daycare) where to pick her girl up. When she found out about the charges, she called me and yelled, you can imagine, I just let her rant, explained to her that I was nice enough to leave her daughter with someone trustworthy and how sorry I was at the situation. Unfortunately that was the last time I saw her daughter. I still talk to her through facebook and stuff, but still Enough is enough!!! Set your foot down and do whatever you have to do to stop the situation. Good Luck!!! (U dont have to be as hostile, but I was really pissed!!)

Updated

I did this one, with my cousin, and her mom went Berserk, she doesnt talk to us anymore (not that I mind). My cousin is my uncle's step-daughter. I agreed to watch her once, ONCE!!!, but all of a sudden I had her every single day of the summer until August at 8 am, and would leave until 10pm. or later!!! Dont even think about money for meals or anything!!!, so one day I had an important event, I talk to the lady that runs a daycare at home, one nice neighbor of ours and explained to her that her mom would pick her up late and that she would cover the fees. When the mom called me, I told her (I had already told her about my event a couple days prior, and tried to reach her before I dropped her daughter @ daycare) where to pick her girl up. When she found out about the charges, she called me and yelled, you can imagine, I just let her rant, explained to her that I was nice enough to leave her daughter with someone trustworthy and how sorry I was at the situation. Unfortunately that was the last time I saw her daughter. I still talk to her through facebook and stuff, but still Enough is enough!!! Set your foot down and do whatever you have to do to stop the situation. Good Luck!!! (U dont have to be as hostile, but I was really pissed!!)

Plain and simple, tell her if she doesn't adhere to her times that she has told you, you will not allow her child to come over anymore. People like that tend to take advantage of people, no matter who they are, so you have to put your foot down. Unfortunately it may affect the girls relationship but it is really inconsiderate and I wouldn't stand for it.

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I have a four word answer for you..."Don't babysit her child". My husband has a great saying for this type of situation. He says "If you don't want someone to do something...make it impossible for them to do it," Think this statement over. It is really effective.