My Three Year Old Is Driving Me Crazy!!!

Hi Jennifer,

These types of behavior do pass if you have can get to the root of it. I'm not sure but my hunch is that he might need some one on one with dad and also there might be some things being learned in daycare. For instance, I enrolled my daughter last year in preschool. She had just turned 3 at the time and she started to become aggressive and flat out disobedient and has a bit of a mean streak. I wasn't sure what had happened to her sweet disposition. So, I decided to sit in on her class to observe her with the other students and it really opened my eyes to see some of the behaviors of the other children towards each other. I also realized that she needed to nap (which she boycotted at 2) and some of it was also due to being overtired and not to mention we had moved twice and had another baby so all of this change and transition was also in play.

These are my experiences but I could only suggest that you keep being consistent and pray for a lot of patience and compassion and try to see what's going on at his daycare and maybe talk with the teachers there to get some insight as well as direction and encourage your husband to have one on one time with him (even if it's going to breakfast every Sat. am as a routine he can look forward to).

I wish you well.
C.

I have a three year old boy and a one year old girl. when he acts up, i have him follow me around and he has to be mama's helper. He has to "be mama with me". he gets the diapers, helps me put her food in a bowl, pick up her bottle when it falls. EVERYTHING. Every step I narrate. It usually lasts about twenty minutes of him having my full attention while giving full attention to his baby sister. then he gets tired and asks to do something else.
This has worked for me time and time again. I stress we are a family, we need to take care of eachother. When he resists sleep, I get the baby to sleep, and he helps me with that and then we take care of him, I lay behind him and cuddle, then I say, 1 more minute, then mommy has to rest too, You know how much work it is to be a mommy, you helped me today! mommy needs to rest too, so she can be a good mommy to you your sister (name) tomorrow. He obliges.
It works! try it!
p.s. investigate whether or not he might be getting some stress from day care.

PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE!!!

I know you are a working mom but maybe something is going on in Day care.. Have you talked to his teachers, the pediatrician? How long has this been going on? Ask them if they have seen the same type of behavior at school? Maybe he is acting out for a reason or more attention. Kids are funny this way. How about are you sharing the care of his sister w/ him? Maybe, you need to involve him and you can let him know what a great big gentle, loving brother he can be. And let him know that you both need him to behave. Or how about rewarding him for good behavior a complement wouldn't hurt. Stay on it kids are very manipulative and they will push you just to see how far they can go. Rewards and Consequences, time outs (specially when he hurts little sister - that should not be tolerated at all).

Its hard believe me I know!!

Sometimes as parents (and I have done this) you are so overwhelmed by the responsibilities of working full time that you forget the little things and you easily snap or are short tempered w/ the kids. Take a deep breath my friend, talk to day care. What does Daddy do - how does he help out???

Sleeping thing concerns me... Deeper issues might be going on... Another thing is yep, this is what 3 year olds do. But, they also need to learn acceptable and unacceptable behavior and it is our (you and Dad) responsibility to teach them this. Good Luck... S. C

I also have a three yer old boy and find it very challenging. It was very different with my daughter who is now 5. I find it helpful to be consitent and set boundaries. He is put in time out immediately if doing something he is told not to do. It is a room that has nothing he can play with. Pre-school has helped too. He has learned to respond to structure and the need to folow rules.
Give yyourself some down time to do something you enjoy too.
Good luck. It is a stage that will pass.

I am in a very similar situation. My three year old daughter is also very violent with her one year old brother. She pushes and hits if her gets anywhere near her toys. We also have issues with her at bedtime. My only advice is to try to keep patient with him. I try to never lose my patience and know that some of her behavior is a result of me not being consistent. If she does something to her brother I always try to put her in a time out. The only reason I sometimes don't is that I am trying to make sure my baby is okay. I know that if I was more consistent, she would be better. If she throws a fit about going to bed, I simply pick her up and put her in her room, no stories or songs. She usually doesn't do this anymore because she knows that I will not go in her room no matter how much she screams. My only advice is to be consistent and try not to give in, some advice that I should also take. It is very hard with two, I know, but the best thing to do is to be patient and try not to yell. Try to do things with them that they both can play with. If my daughter doesn't want to share I tell her she has to play alone in her room. She usually ends up sharing. Just try to stay calm and know that this too will pass.

I know for me when I was working full time, actually like 65 hrs. a week, my oldest 8, had many health issues (i started a journal to keep track), like not feeling well, and she was very emotional and my four year old have a really tough time with daycare (the tantrums would start on sunday, he went on tuesdays) , he did like going with the babysitter though. But he too was acting out, a lot. I have been able to cut down to 20 hours a week. I can't tell you the difference in my children. We have to do without some things but time with my children during these irreplacable years is well worth it, and guess what all my daughter's complaint's have surprisingly dissapeared! I know for some of us this may not be possible but perhaps that's what it is, if you could maybe cut back hours somewhat it might help?