My Sons Grind Their Teeth

At 4 years old, I don't think you need to worry about the 'finish what we start'. You can say you were trying it and since you decided it was not that great that you are taking a break.

I would look into another school or teacher. Not all situations are ideal and there is no reason a 4 yr old should have to try to deal with it. Life will dealings will be upon him soon enough without pushing him into it. I know I pushed my oldest and was sorry I did. He did great in K, but I wished I had just relaxed about the whole preschool thing. My other two loved preschool but they were in different situations.

Hi T.,

I agree with the other posts if there are issues you feel uncomfortable with at the school and they don't get resolved, pull him out. You might try another school in January. However, if you feel your son is doing fine once he gets to school, then you might want to reconsider.

At various times, I have had problems with both my girls going to school. Last year, every school morning my 4-year-old would complain about going to school. However, she was doing fine in school and I didn't have any complaints about the teacher or the administration. I figured it was just a way to get attention. However, when my oldest daughter was 3, she complained about school and ended up crying the entire time and I would have to go pick her up. I didn't like the way the teachers were handling things so I pulled her out. Looking back on both situations, they were during the times when we had a new baby. I noticed that you have a 3-month old. I think that the school age siblings get insecure knowing that you are at home with their brother or sister and they are not there getting your attention. However, I know that you desperately need some respite from 3 kids. I tried to give my children a little extra attention and reassurance during these times, point out the positive things about school, have play dates with kids in their classrooms, etc....

I will pray that God will give you wisdom in this situation.

God Bless,
J.

I dealt with this with my daughter.Lots of teacher and parent meetings and a few with the administration.We ended up changing teachers and my daughter took off flying back to her old self.Hang in there and my prayers are with you.

4 years old and in school? That is too young! I never started Jr kindergarten till age 5, and I turned out fine. I graduated from high school while taking the advanced courses. I think your child needs a bit more time to adjust to being away from mom. Try a part time day care, or a mother/child group if you want him to socialize.

It's important that the introduction to school go well because you want him to have a good taste in his mouth for next year and the years to follow. You said that you don't feel that he's ready, there are issues with the teacher, the prinicipal, you don't feel right about the place. It is important to finish what you start but it's more important that you have your child in the best place possible. Yank him out of there! You could look for another school for him to go to. I had my son at a Preschool that I later changed my mind about. Took him out and did find another and they took him mid-year. If you can't find another school, work with him at home. If I knew where you lived I could suggest some for you...
In this case I would say it's ok to quit. In fact, it's not quitting, it's revising.

Have you thought about putting him into a montessori? I know it is expensive most of the time, but one of the main things they teach is a love for school.

I have a HUGE problem with public schools, especially in Houston and some surrounding areas. The teachers are not helped by the policys of the board and the children are not being taught to love school. This could discourage your child for the rest of his school days, it happened to my brother. He was Extremely intelligent and a teacher told him he could not do something because the other kids couldn't do it. My mom said from that moment on he hated school, he ended up dropping out at 17 and now has no degree to show for how smart he is.

I work at a montessori, and at 4 your child should have a fun loving environment to learn in, and if the teacher is not happy then obviously the students aren't either. If you can afford it, I would highly suggest that you find a good place to put him, and if you cannot I would suggest taking him out until next year and hope that he gets a better teacher. Maybe even see if you can transfer him to another school.

If you would like info on where I work please send me a message and I will be happy to help as much as I can!

Good luck, and I say a prayer for you!

My daughter went through the same thing when she was four. However, this was a daycare- but a "school" just the same. I regret not getting her out of there faster. I tried to resolve it to-but nothing worked except pulling her out. She absolutely hated it there and now she is happy in kindergarten. Good luck to you. (the daycare was supposed to be one of the best)btw

T.,

Go with your gut. Never ignore this. Your child is telling you something is wrong. While you can not and should not expect to change his class as he moves through school (bad message to send that if you don't like the teacher I will fix it and that you always get what you want) this is not that kind of situation. He is too young to get that message. He is to young to tell you what is bothering him but something is. This can change his feeling about school for years to come. REACT now! Speak with the principal now! 4 should be a fun stage still. If there are issues in the classroom then the principal should address them now and the teacher should want the things addressed as well or she will have a room of misbehaving children and noone wants that. Regardless look at a different school as well. Don't wait - get active today.
As a mom of 3 grown kids and now caring for a 2 1/2 yr old while my daughter serves in Iraq, I do understand. I had to move my grandchild from one day care to another within the first month of her being with us. I didn't want to do this as she had had so many changes already with her mom being deployed but once done I knew it was the right thing. Her whole attitude changed within days. Trust your gut.

My daughter did the same, but it helped, when I went in early with her and helped everyone get their juice and stuff(they eat in school here), and then I waited around a bit, then left. Sometimes I came back at 10 am for recess and hung out and talked to all the kids (which helped her make friends) and then I would go sit with them at lunch.

Of course you have smaller ones, but maybe it would work out for you to do this every once in awhile..

Since he's advanced, you might want to suggest that he help out the teacher. Not as a teacher's aid or a teacher's pet but more like an example to the other children. Usually when other children see that one child helps out, they all want to do it. It's more like a monkey see monkey do kinda thing. Being that he's your oldest, may be the reason he doesn't want to go. He sees that the younger kids get to stay home and wants to do the same. Remind him that his younger sibling will join him when he's 4 as well and he should scope out things to make his younger brother feel more welcome when he starts. He might feel even more like the big brother rather just a sibling. Kids want and need to feel special. Remind him of his importance of being there for his siblings. Kids also like to feel grown up every once in a while and this may help him want to go to school. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying for you to put a large responsibility on your child or to help the teacher with her stress but this may be the start of a good domino effect. If you don't feel comfortable asking your son to help out then speak with the teacher ... maybe she's handling things a different way and an alternative suggestion for solution may be what she needs.

Hi T.,
If the teacher is stressed, and having trouble with other kids, she is passing this stress to the children. Your son is probably reacting to her "mood". Don't get me wrong, teaching is not easy. I was a credentialed teacher before my children were born. But, your number one priority is your child. At this age, he is supposed to love school. It is supposed to be fun. You don't want his first years or experiences in school be negative. It is good that you are talking to the principal. I would also include the teacher in this meeting. Or perhaps include her in a later meeting. If things don't change quickly, in my opinion, I would switch classes or switch schools. I hope things work out for you. And, you are already doing the right thing, you listen to your child and you are considerate of his feelings. Does he tell you why he doesn't want to go? Good Luck!

If your son doesn't want to go to school than find out the reason. Usually there is a reason underneith, he might have a bully in his class at that age they know it dosen't feel right they just don't know how to tell you or anyone else for that matter. There could be several reasons why he doesn't want to go to school at that age school should be fun and he should want to go to play with the other kids. What I did was go to the school for a couple of days and volunteer and I found my son was being picked on by 3 other boys and the teacher was looking the other way. My son is a minority.