Sleepless Nights with a 15 Mo. Old...

Updated on June 22, 2009
G.B. asks from Portage, WI
5 answers

Hello Mommies (and Daddies!!!)
My daughter is typically a "good sleeper". She usually doesn't wake in the night at all. However, we went away on vacation for about a month and now she refuses to sleep in her crib at night. While we were gone, we would allow her to either sleep with us, or push a queen sized bed against the wall and put up rails etc. to make it into a safe toddler-like bed. We have been home for about a week and a half, and she will go down in her own bed, but when she wakes, she will cry and cry and demand to be in the bed with us. We don't mind sometimes for her to be in the bed with us (when she's sick or teething), but we don't want this co-sleeping to become a pattern...there's just not enough room in the bed for all of us! I am not into the "cry it out" method, but am not sure if there is another way to get her back into her own crib. Thanks so much for all your help :)

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B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just wanted to support your decision to not let her cry it out. It will definitely take some time for your daughter to get readjusted to sleeping in her crib if she hasn't done it in a month. I would be very consistent with comforting her and returning her to her crib. There will be some crying, but it should be accompanied crying. You need to help her through this transition with love and compassion. You could stay in the room with her (if that helps - for some kids it just makes them angry) or leave and return every few minutes to reassure her. I might try having her sleep in her crib, but you or your hubby sleep on the floor of her room for a week or so (she gets more comfortable in the crib, while being reassured of you). The key is to be consistent so she learns quickly what to expect, reassuring and calm. She'll get back into the routine eventually.

You could also try to move her to a toddler type bed now. Its pretty early, but if she was comfortably sleeping in a big bed on vacation, maybe she'd be ok with a twin mattress on the floor and a rail. That way she wouldn't be with you, but might be happier.

Good luck!

B.

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E.K.

answers from Rapid City on

We had some of this as well with our 18-month old. What finally broke the pattern is that we would let her fall back asleep in mom or dad's lap in her room, then put her back in her crib. It takes a little extra time, but now she is back to sleeping all night without an issue.

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have heard that it takes 10 consecutive days to form a new pattern of behavior, she got used to sleeping with you in a comfortable mattress with soft sheets, pillows and you. Be prepared to have to comfort her and put her back to bed for 10 nights until she realizes that she is not going to be able to go to bed with you, if you give in then she will continue to try to think there is a chance and will continue to try to get into your bed. Make sure that there is nothing wrong with her physically or a reason that she needs you. Try to figure out what you can do to make her crib comfortable like the bed she slept in with you without making it dangerous.

I am not for the crying out method either, I think it is cruel and creates the doubt in your child that they can trust you unconditionally and that you will be there when they need you. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi G.,
I'm with the other post about sticking to the routine. Put her in her bed and be prepared for a few nights of problems. But if you relent and allow her back in, it will just extend the transition period of getting her back into her routine.
K.

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I have never dealt with this first hand but i will offer some suggestions. You could try getting her a special Lovey that she likes (i LOVE the Jelly Cat brand animals extra soft and cuddley) My son has Monkey and a Cow. Make sure that the Lovey is only allowed in her bed. I don't know how your night time routine goes but if you have one keep it consistant, if you don't have one get one. bath, stories, songs, rocking chair, whatever works for your family. I didnt like the crying it out method either. with my son i stepped it down i would go in after 5 mins and comfort him, then after 10 mins, and i never made it to 15 because after 3 nights he just fussed a little and went to sleep. once you start though you can't go back to letting her into your bed. IT will mean a few long and sleepless nights but you can do it! I am not against co sleeping but my son just needs his own space to sleep. good luck i hope you get it all worked out.

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