My son is 4 months and he will not stop whinning. I bought a swing, a bouncer, a floor activity center. He doesn't like the car. The only thing he likes is to be held. Also he does not sleep on his back for very long. He sleeps with my husband and I. I have to hold him or be very close to him. He is so cute and his aunt is watching him so everyone spoils him and I think he knows how to hold out. I tried not to pick him up yeserday but it did not work. He hollered to the top of his lungs. As soon as I picked him up he was fine. Please someone give me some advice.
Thank you all. I don't know what I would have done without you guys. I told my husband about the swaddling and he laughed. I am going to buy a swaddling blanket today. I just used a flanel blanket I had. That worked like a charm yesterday. I thought that wrapping them in that blanket would make him hot, but he was fine. I am also going to try, the suggestion of letting him cry for 5, 10 15 min. THANK YOU ALL OF YOU THANK YOU 100 TIMES!!!!!!!!
C.,
I had the same problems with my daughter she would only sleep with me. I had to put her in her crib swadled her nice and tight and in 3-4 days later she was sleeping in her crib.
He loves you! And he needs you. My son wwas like that and some days it would drive me crazy because I felt I couldn't get anything done and I would worry he was too needy. Those days are gone now he's 12 months old and I miss them! I used the baby bjorn for a while and then got a sling, which was the best investment ever. I could carry the baby and get things done - happy baby = happy mommy!
Kangarookorner.com have some great slings.
Hang in there! He will get more independent in a few months. Doctors and baby books say that there is no such thing as spoiling a baby less than 6 mo old (it may even be up to 1 year old, I don't remember!). Holding him at this age helps his brain grow (really!) and will give him a sense of security that will help him to learn. As much as holding him all the time takes over your life, it is only for a few months, and when he gets older and you have to beg him for hugs, you will remember these days more fondly! Good luck. Enjoy your beautiful son.
C.,
Just wondering if your swaddling him? It will give him a sense of security. I couldn't beleive the difference it made with our daughter. The miracle blanket works wonders. BabyCenter.com has them.
N.
My son was exactly the same way from the moment he came out of me! I couldn't even put him down to use the bathroom or take a shower without him screaming. We tried everything, even letting him scream all night, every night, for nearly 30 days. I gave up then.
Some babies are clingy. I do not at all believe in the idea of 'spoiling'. Many cultures hold babies, coddle babies, have family beds, etc., and the kids are more confident and secure and they know they are loved.
My son is three and still only sleeps with my husband and I. He likes to be close to us. He can't fall asleep on his own, but I know he'll grow out of this phase soon. Now that he's in pre-school and socializing with other kids, he's already talking about sleeping in his own bed by himself (all on his own).
It's up to you, but nothing's wrong with holding a baby that wants to be held. You'll have a tough time for a couple of years, but in the end that baby will know he's loved more than anything in the world.
A 4 month old can't be spoiled. Hold him he NEEDS YOU! Babies need to be held and that is obviously what he is asking for. Buy a sling or other carrier if you need to have your arms free. Relax and enjoy these moments while you can.
All my kids have been like that.. Well I bought a sling and carried them.. of course I also eat advil for breakfast!! The back pain sucks!!:) However it shows he is comforted with you and loves being near you.. how sweet is that!!
I personally felt that if they needed to know I was there i wasn't gong to let them cry, it also helps if you sit and play games show pictures etc. I currently have a 5 month old and she will be ok for about 10 minutes on her own MAYBE but she wants to be held and looking around. You decide the type of parent you want to be. If you don't want to hold them then try the cry out method. They learn to entertain themselves I just could never do that.
There are several books out there on different styles, baby whisperer and the dr sears books.. check them out and then be glad you are doing what you feel is best!!
OK, I have some DIFFERENT advice for you. My son was like that and it is so exhausting!at I wanted him to get what he needed, but I needed some time too. At about three months my doctor gave me some great advice-it really worked! It's very hard, but after a couple of days it should work like magic! Put him down, making sure he's fed, and changed, etc. Let him cry for 5 minutes-then go comfort him, letting him know you are there, and he is fine. Then put him down again, and come in in 10 minutes if he is still upset, calm him down, etc. 15 minutes, and then so on. It's so hard when a real little guy is crying, but I believe in the long run, this age is one that can be trained for healthy sleeping in the future. Good luck!
Have you tried wearing a sling? They are WONDERFUL and babies love to be worn! Check out www.thebabywearer.com for info on the benefits of babywearing. Wearing them in a sling also helps you get a LOT done- we don't even use a play yard, swing, bouncer, etc!
Hi C.,
It might also be a fase. babies are more fussy and want to be held more when they have a mental growth spurts. these periods shouldn't last for more than 2 or 3 weeks. if you baby has been doing the for a longer period of time there is something else going on.
good luck with al the other fantastic advice everbody gave you.
M.
Another thing to try once the baby outgrows swaddling is to wear him in a sling. My son is 7 months old and I can do anything with him in a sling. He is always content and for ver long periods of time. He sleeps while he's in it, too. Hope that helps.
A.
At 4 months old, I think you're expecting too much from such a small baby. He is just doing what all babies do- crave touch and comfort. I spent many days and nights bouncing up and down hallways comforting my daughter who is now 1. The good news is that he will start calming down naturally in the next month. At about 3-4 months they learn how to turn off that "crying" switch. It will start getting easier to take him out to a restaurant or out shopping.
Understand, too, that your baby is too young to "manipulate" you into holding him more. So, not holding him won't teach him a lesson- he will just get fussier feeling alone. Hold your baby all you want- don't worry that you are spoiling him. They don't learn manipulation until a lot older. Congratulations and good luck!
C.:
I believe that children cry for a reason/ what is difficult is to sort out why they are crying...
I am not sure exactly who you should see with your son - but I do believe that there is a reason he is behaving the way he is and it is not about spoiling.
P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
800 LACTATE
I'm sorry...I don't mean to be disrespectful, but a 4 month old does not whine. He is an infant and needs to be held and touched and kissed. Besides food and and a diaper change every couple hours, he needs his mommmy and daddy and anyone else who will take the time to be with him and love him. You don't need advice, you need help. Please take this opportunity to get it as soon as possible. I'm in tears thinking about you trying to go a whole day without picking up your little one. He needs you and nothing else. Please get help.
Have you tried swaddling your baby? Check out "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I'm almost sure this will help you.
He loves comfort but u have to be strong and not pick him up so much! he needs to learn the hard way but it's the rght way! Otherwise as he gets older he will be very spoiled and its tough raising kids if they are telling you what to do all the time. The baby needs to self sooth let him cry after all it's good for his lungs! u may feel like u are neglectiong him but really ur not..atleast try a few times a day for a few minutes at a time or else it will get worse and u will never get things done around ur home and personal life!!!
Good luck
S.
I hear ya! At least he is content when you pick him up...that is how my son was as a baby. My daughter on the other hane is six weeks old, and is very hard to make happy, even if she is being held...I hope it works out for you soon. I know as my son got bigger and could do more ( like sit and crawl, etc.) the less clingy he became. Good luck and hang in there
Hold him as much as you want. He will not get spoiled. I know that it can seem like forever, but before you know it he will be very independant. My son started out the same as yours. I think I held him 24/7. He is now 10 mos and is constantly trying to wiggle out of my arms. I used a sling for my fist son and loved it. My second was much bigger and didn't like it so I just had to carry him. They really are only little for a short time.
Have you talked with your pediatrician? It sound's like reflux to me. It's much worse at night and when laying down. Also, it could be food allergies.
He is only 4 months old...he wants and needs his mommy- not a bunch of toys to keep him busy. It is also very unhealthy to try and avoid picking up a 4 month old baby all day and it can lead to attachment issues in the future.
I suggest you try a sling. It will provide the close contant the little guy is craving and will also allow you to have your hands free to get a few things done.
Hope that helps! And remember they are only babies for a very short time. Enjoy him and hold him while you can ;)
I also want to add that the method of letting the baby cry for 5 mins, then 10 mins etc.. is called the Ferber Method and it is NOT recommended for babies under 6 months old.
I agree with the M. who said to try swaddling. We swaddled our son until he started rolling over.
Did you check his gums? He could be teething.
Good luck.
