My Son Will No Longer Go Potty in Public Restrooms

Hi there,

My little one is almost 3 and has been potty trained for over 6 months, but has some quirky habits that come and go, and she sometimes holds it. I'm guessing it's typical at this age and at the beginning of potty training.

I do know that she's very afraid of the automatic flushing toilets and the hand blow dryers. So I always put paper over the flushing sensor on the toilet and we never use the hand dryers. Can you ask your son if he us afraid of something?

Also, as with so many things with little kids, I've found hat their learning is not linear, meaning that just because he was doing great for a month doesn't mean that you won't have unexplained setbacks. But that also doesn't mean that he'll never use the potty just because he doesn't want to now. (obvious, I know, but I helps to remind myself of this when we have a step backwards :) It takes a lot of patience, but just hang in there.

H.

Hello A.,
I am well into my late 50's and have never liked to use the public restroom. It is hard for me to go with another person there esp. a stranger and even if your child knows the teacher se is not family. I went to Rocklin recently and found the Denn'y clean so could or I would not have known what to do for the next 3 hours drive home! I would ask him what it is that is the problem. Could it be the echo in the bathroom, fear the toilet isn't clean?( that 's an easy fix with wipes) and teach him to use the papaer seat liners, does he need the water running so noone can hear him?
Once you have the information you can fix the problem. I also believe in bribes simple ones if it helps. Good Luck

My son did the same thing. We were at our local diner one day and he had to go. He was sitting to pee when the automatic flusher flushed the potty and he thought he was going to go down with it!
It was a real problem for us for quite a while. When we were out and got desperate we would have him pee in the car into a container or cup with a lid and then just dump it. It sounds gross but it's better than him peeing himself or having to haul everyone back home to make a potty trip.
The one thing (other than time) that got him to go in public again was a urinal, where he could stand to pee and it didn't flush and scare him.
Just be patient...this too shall pass!

Newly trained children... and sometimes not so newly trained children... go through this kind of stages. One suggestion, you mention that he still is sitting to go potty. Maybe if you try to teach him how to stand to go it will help him overcome this particular problem. Also for public restrooms (not the daycare) it may have something to do with the fact that most of those toilets are taller than home toilets. Another difference is that public toilets usually make a much louder flushing noise. I know that bothers my granddaughters who have been thoroughly potty trained for some time. The daycare toilets are most likely the smaller kid versions. It's possible that may also be bothering him. We all are creatures of habit, even in our toileting habits and having toilets that are so much different from the home toilet may be bothering him.

my son got really scared of public restrooms when we used the one at walmart. the automatic flusher in those big echo-y rooms, and the automatic water (which, granted, is on the hotter side of comfortable for me too) TOTALLY turned him off, to the point where he would get soap on his hands and then refuse to wash it off (i had to force him literally kicking and screaming one time, that was fun and made me feel like mom of the year let me tell you) and he will whine and fuss (at 3 and a half years old) the entire time he's going, because he's terrified the automatic flusher will go off while he's in the stall. he makes me wait till he is out to flush. anyway...i think this is kind of normal. i honestly would keep bribing him if you're in public...the only way to get him over the fear (if thats what it is) is to get him to do it. my son's phase of this has lasted probably over a year now, and he's finally getting better. for awhile he was so terrified he would refuse to use the toilet ANYwhere other than home, not realizing that all public restrooms are not the devil like walmart's is! good luck!

Yikes! THe first thought I had was to carry his potty trianing potty around with you when you go out, that is if he had one. I actually keep our very small, compact potty (baby bjorn) in the car for emergencies (line it with a plastic bag). Of course, that really isn't addressing the issue with preschool, he needs to use the restroom there. If the bribe worked, then set up a reward system. Let him know in morning before school that if he goes he will get a star/ticket and when he collects x # he gets something bigger. He will get over it but maybe there was one scary time with a loud toilet or something?

I don't know why, the boys have a problem with this, all 3 of mine did, sitting while going is fine, IF you can get them too, my youngest who is almost 10 now, would hold it and finally when it came out was like little dries up balls..., finally it just ended, I really don't know if there is an answer to this...you would almost think girls would have a harder time...I think the boys just get so busy, they are afraid they will miss out on something, hope you can figure it out as I was at my witts end, dealing with poo!