My 3 year old little girl was doing great at potty training UNTIL we were out at a restaurant were they had the self flushing toilets. She was doing fine until it flushed before she was finished and scared her to death. From then on she refuses to go to any public toilets, self flushing or not. I have tried to show her that they are the ones you flush yourself and she still refuses to even get on them. She ends up holding her pee to the point that if we are not home in time she has accidents and wets her pants.
What can I do? Any advice would be helpful.
Thank You
Same with my son when he was a toddler. He thought the toilet would swallow him. I just blocked the sensor and showed him a few times that with my hand passing in front of it it wouldn't flush. He was fine after a couple of times.
My daughter, who is now 11, was very scared of them. The way I got her to sit on it was to cover up the sensor so it wouldn't flush. She was still really scared, but after several times of peeing while I covered it, she finally relaxed. Her friend was also very scared, and one time we went to Sea World for the whole day and she didn't pee once because she was so scared.
my daughter was terrified of the automatic toilets. Our solution was very simple. Post it notes. Put a post it over the sensor and it wont flush! Now she loves to put the post it on and go potty.
It had gotten pretty bad before a coworker of mine suggested the post its. At one point we were at the zoo and she realized the toilets were automatic and she freaked out, screaming and carrying on. Someone told me it sounded like I was torturing her in there! Thank goodness for the post its.
Hi I.,
Both my boys are hating public toilets, too. I'm lucky in that I've been able to convince them to keep using them.
Maybe your girl needs a little break from the stress. With my first son, I carried a portable potty in the car, and he would "go" in the parking lot (I always parked in a discreet location) before and after trips into the store.
Good luck!
t
I keep a bunch of post-it notes in my bag. I put one over the sensor and don't take it off until we're ready to leave the stall. To help her get over her fear, use the toilet yourself after you've put the post-it on to show her it does not flush anymore until you're ready. It takes time but it does sink in. I had the same problem with my kids and the post-its made the wrold of difference.
Good luck!
Lol....my daughter was the same way for a while...I honestly don't remember how she finally resolved it, but she was never as frightened as what you are describing. One way to keep them from flushing it to keep a pad of Post-Its in your purse and put one over the "eye" as soon as you walk in. It is opaque enough to stop the flushing of most toilets.
Well, the self flushers are LOUD and sudden! Heck, I get scared by them! lol Do the Post It note trick over the "eye" and it will be better.....
Is there anyone who HASN'T seen a public toilet that has scared them?
My kids were only afraid of public bathrooms if they were filthy and who could blame them?
They thought the self flushers were awesome and wished we had one.
Maybe you can try going potty first so she sees it doesn't hurt anything and she'll be more willing to go.
Best wishes.
The auto-flushing toliets are the worst.
I use the post-it note trick too. I slowly had to get my kids' "trust" back and let them see me put the post-it note over the eye sensor when it is the auto-flushing kind and use the toliet myself. I always identify which type of toilet it is when we enter the stall. Take her to the bathroom whenever you are out and *you* need to go. Talk to her about how you can make sure the toilet doesn't auto-flush -- and let her see it happen. When you are on the do-it-yourself flusher, ask her if she would like to flush when you are finished (mine never do!). Give her some time to adjust and she will come around.
Good luck!!
my daughter was like that too and sometimes still is. she is 3 also. what i do with the self flushing toilets is i hang her bottoms over the sensor. if the sensor is on the wall use a post it. its just going to take a lot of encouragement, maybe reward her with tic tacs when she uses the public toilet :).
Talk to her about it in a calm way when she doesnt' have to go to the bathroom. As adverse as I personally am at going into public bathrooms ;) I would reccomend visiting one for a little learning trip. Talk about it. Show it to her. Try to make it a comedy. Show her how to identify self flush and manual flush toilets. Sho her how to be 'in control' of it. I love the post it idea. If you model how to 'take control' of the toilet, and then give her the 'power' by way of post-it to do it I think it will be ok.
While the germaphobe in me loves the idea of self flushing toilets, I have to say I have had some suprising and annoying experiences with them as an adult. I can see how they can be quite frightening to a young one or one who has never been exposed to them.
LOL! Ahh, I can relate as well. I say my daughter has stage fright when it comes to toilets that have the sensor -- I usually have to hold my hand over it, or she won't go near it. She's slowly getting less scared, she's 5 now, but she'll still ask me to put my hand over the sensor sometimes.
The good news is that it does pass. It was difficult at first, though, I remember spending 15 minutes trying to talk her into going because we weren't going to be around another potty for a while and I didn't want to clean up a pee mess in the car. But then, I finally just had to say, ok little girl if you choose not to go now, and you pee in your pants, you will face the consequences. The "fear" of consequences helped her to stay on long enough to see that my hand over the sensor would do the trick - and happily I never had to figure out what consequences I would have to apply, because she acquiesced!
And then for a while I had to hold my hand over it for a bit before she would get on. I tried using toilet paper to put on the toilet but it always would trigger that stupid sensor and so I resorted to just wiping hard with the toilet paper with some sanitizer and then putting my hand over the sensor before she got on.
She's much more low maintenance with public pottys now but there is a little insecurity about the whole flushing process. Just now, that she is in Kindergarten though, I am starting to see a real difference with her fear of flushing -- I expect it to be totally gone within the next couple of months just because she's come so far since being in school ...
Hope this helps ...
-J. P.
:)
My daughter got over it after I kept repeating that it's just a big noise and it can't hurt her. I just kept saying it over and over. It's just a big noise and the noise won't hurt you. It's just a big noise and the noise won't hurt you. So now she'll get into the stall and cover her ears and say, "It's just a big noise, right? I'm ok?" She insists on covering her ears whenever she's in the vicinity of a public toilet because they always flush so much louder than regular toilets. She will at least use them, even if she becomes unwieldy due to her ear covering comfort mechanism.
my son still is afraid of them,and he is 5 and I used to have a time getting him in there. he is better now though,but still turns and says to me mommy don't let it flush yet until after I leave ,lol. I am like one of the other posters you gotta see where they are coming from bein g that young and having that going on:>), and some like my son have very sensitive ears,he has sensory problems and children with sensory issues are really bothered by them.
what I do for my son is just calmly talk with him about it before he stands up and he usually is ok then.
Oh I feel your pain, those self flushers are evil!!! I have encountered the same issue with my daughter. She is now 7 and still has a morbid fear of public bathrooms. She got better with time, but there are still some days she will refuse to use the bathroom unless I go in and hold the sensor. I'm going to try the post it note idea. All you can do is keep trying. Hold the sensor and reassure her its ok. I would remind her it's just really loud and noise can't hurt us. Look for the places with the regular flush toilets. I had a mental note of places with the regular flush handle. Try getting her to relax by using those. I would have to go first to show my daughter that they wont flush until I did it myself. Hang in there and good luck.
I think it's good and bad. Public bathrooms are disgusting. I don't have any advice though, I'm sorry!
The post-its is a great idea and they have little tiny ones in a packet that wouldn't take much space at all in your purse. ALSO, you can sit down and go pee yourself with her watching you and wipe, do your thing, get up and show her that it is not flushing, and it may help by her watching you go through the routine that it is not going to flush until you remove the post-it note. It always helps when mama does something first so they can see and be assurred.
Hi I.! We had the SAME problem, and I despaired of ever taking my daughter out in public again. Then one day.....it was over! No explanation, no fuss.....just "Mommy I have to go potty and I think this is a nice toilet."
Whew! I didn't see that one coming! :)
I do cover up the sensor on auto toilets just to keep the fear from coming back.
Good luck! I hope this passes quickly for you!
get post its and her favorite stickers. Have her put her favorite sticker on the pages of the post it pad. Go into the self flushing toilets and have her put the post it over the "sensor". They aren't tall enough or big enough to block the sensor - the sensor is actually blocking YOU as you stand in front of her. When you move to get her off the toilet your causing it to flush! (I actually stood in a stall and studied this for about 20 minutes one morning exhausted from the bathroom ordeal". Have her put the post it with her favorite sticker over the flush sensor (I called it the flush monster) and then she can use the toilet. After a few tries when she sees it is safe to trust the post it you shouldn't have any problems. Mine goes but will still get off the toilet and stand on the other side of the stall as I remove the post it and it flushes!
good luck!
LOL - That's funny. If I were 3, I would be scared of them too. I mean something out of the blue just flushing and nobody touches it, of course I would be scared. I would suggest using a pullup in public and reassure the potty training at home where she is comfortable and knows that one will not go off on its own, lol..such trauma...I am sorry, but I can't help laughing....
My son is 2 and he is potty trained now. At home is us the regulat toilet but scared to go to any public toilets. I solve the problem very easy. When we out of the house I took his little potty trained toilets with us. It is comfortanble, easy and clean. I put a small bag so when he is finished I just clean him and throw the bag in the trash. I leave the small potty trined toilets in the car so he is in a good comfortable envoiroment. If he need to go, I take him to the car he sits, finish and we continue what ever we did before.
I'm sure he will get over it when he will be bigger. The best is not to make an issue over it and try to solve the problem in a creative way.
commiserations - mine was scared silly of the auto flushers for almost 3 years. . .we once checked every single loo at Huntington Gardens and I finally found an out of the way bush behind a path (but not being a hiker/camper yet, she couldn't go there, either! I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry by then)
But.
the post-its or just Mama's hand over the sensor and calm, repetitive assurances about how "it's just a toilet and it won't flush if we stop the light and we're a big girl and and and" did help. We spent a lot of time looking for non-automatic toilets, though. To this day (she's 6), she lets me know which type of toilet we're encountering! Just be patient, calm, and keep working at it. You can't really travel without encountering the auto types.
