My Son Need Surgery

My daughter had the same surgery at that age - i remember being just as worried about her being put under anesthsia - all of it. Please don't worry the doctors were wonderful - i was the one who went into the room as she went under and as the surgeon and I were walking down the hallway he said to me "oh by the way just as they go under they thrash about - don't let that scare you" so now i'm trying not to look scared for my little ones sake but she did indeed thrash about then out like a baby. they operated and she was fine. If you don't want to see that your husband should go in. I debated telling you that but i wish i had someone tell me that prior to just seconds before walking into the OR. Anyway - of course I have anohter story - i have a son too and he had a hernia operation as well - not on his umbilical cord but a regular hernia. He was 4 and he didn't thrash around - all the people in the OR sang "spongebob squarepants" theme song to him and before you know it he was ot without incident.
Your boy will be fine and by all means you should be there when he wakes up. He will need you. Decide with your husband who should go in with him but i am certain they will let you be there when he comes out of it.
good luck
M.

My daughter had to go under twice for surgery so I know exactly what you are going through and I know how much your heart is breaking right now. It is very hard and I am not sure anything can prepare you when you see your child under.
It is true only one parent can be there while he is being put under and when he wakes up. I would definately ask to see if exceptions can be made. It never hurts to ask.
As hard as it is to let your husband be the one to go in it may be a lot less stressful for your son if he's more attached to him. My daughter was more attached to me so I was the one who went in with her.
You don't want him crying for daddy when he is about to go under.
Just hug him tight and give him big kisses and tell him how much you love him and that mommy will see him after he wakes up.
This is going to stay stressful for you until it's over and I'm not sure anything can prepare you for it or put you at ease. Make sure you have full trust in the doctors and you'll be able to meet the operating room team so this will help a lot.
I am sure the hospital nurses will make you feel better and they will keep you informed throughout the whole process.
Make sure you ask as many questions as you need to feel more comfortable and tell them anything special about your son. What he's afraid of or what makes him laugh are things that will help the doctors and especially the nurses make his experience better before he's put under.
After the surgery he may not even know who is there until the anesthesia wears off. So by the time you get to see him he may just be aware of who's around him.
I hope evrything goes well for you and my heart goes out to you and I'll pray your son has a good experience.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My daughter had surgery at 4y/o. The worst part is when they are in the O.R. and have to have the mask on to be administered the anesthesia. So if he is most secure with daddy that let daddy be there. I do not think that it will make much of a difference if you are there when he wakes up because when they come out of it it is pretty scary for them and seeing you will be a nice reassurance.

My prayers are with you. God bless.

A.

My son had surgery 2 years ago.. and the same thing .. only one person in with him when he went to sleep but before that time.. they give him something to make him groggy. They gave my son a little liquid - it was valium or something similar.. and we both sat with him while he took this. In a few minutes he got very loopy.. and again we were both with him. Then when it was time to go into surgery... I went in with him. My husband waited outside the room.. you go in for only 1 min- your child doesn't really know your there... because they are already kind of drugged .. you meet the anesthesiologist.. if you have a question or two.. the nurses say hi.. and in a few seconds your son will go to sleep.. It;s very relaxing and the child doesn;t get upset because of the drug they've already had to calm them down. you leave... it's kind of heartbreaking.. the only thing I told them all they better take care of my baby.. Then the surgery.. then they will take your son to recovery.. You don't go in right away.. the dr. comes out and tells you all went well.. then they call one of you in to recovery. My husband went in and was with my son for about 1/2 hour and then they move him to another room where I joined them. It was nice that we took turns -- me first then him. If I was you, I would go for recovery. The surgery room is kind of scarey for the adult and hard to let your child stay and you go. I was so upset to leave him. It was easier when my son had a second surgery.. I went to recovery and husband went in the surgery. He feels the same way. Hopefully my son will never need surgery again.. but all went well. Your lucky because of your son's age -- he won't remember. My son was 9 years old when he had surgery.. so he remembers it all. Good luck.... A.~~

My daughter is 12 mo. old and has had two surgeries since birth (at 9 days old and at 7 mo. old...due to heart disease). She was put under both times obviously. Please realize that being in the room with your child while they go under is NOT a treat. Your child becomes a different person...while it's happening. Children tend to convulse and their eyes roll back in their heads. You can't help but feel panic. It really is NOT something to WANT to see. Just thought I'd let you know so you can prepare your husband or yourself as to what could happen on Thursday. Hope it all works out. Ultimately, having a parent go in with the child is to comfort the child, not the parent. Please try to understand and grant whatever it is your child wants.

my son was born with glaucoma. he has been put under 6 times since he was 5 months old. he is now 2 & 1/2. the first time was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. i thought i was going to get sick while he was under. it was awful. each time since, it has become easier, although it breaks my heart to see strangers take him away. my best advice that was given to me the first time -by my sister who made the mistake of going in when they put her son down - she said when you see your child go lifeless on the table it is awful, let the professionals do their job, what comfort you may be providing is minimal to the situation. i chose not to see my child go lifeless and although i HATE handing him over, it is better for everyone in the long run. remember, kids are resilaint, he WILL be fine, recover fine & likely not remember the whole thing the next week, you on the other hand will, and it may be tramatizing for you. i do know that you cannot be there when he wakes up. the recovery room nurses will be, one specific will be assigned to your child, and once he is awake, and his vitals are checked, they will call you in.

My son had surgery yesterday (ambulatory) and before going into the OR they gave him some medicine that made him very sleepy and relaxed, he was all smiles. We knew only one parent would be allowed to walk with him to the OR and we had not discussed it but I ended up going, it was harder for me than for him, in less than 1/2 minute he was asleep. We were both allowed into the recovery room and were there to see him wake up, I think they allow this because it's actually easier for the nurses too. He was a little cranky and crying but they put him in my arms and he slept about another half hour before waking up.

Do ask all your questions when they call you, they are usually very nice people and understand how parents feel.

L.,
You may be able to walk with them down to the door of the room. You may not. Spend extra time with your son that morning, even if you think you are 'smothering' him.

There are other reasons for only one person going: When your baby goes under anesthesia, they fight it - it's the nature of the anesthesia. They are just as cranky coming out of it. It is the nature of the parent to want to respond to that, and they need to consider the safety of everyone involved, and that includes the parent.

Also - mitts. When the baby comes out of anesthesia, they're very disoriented, and I think they resort to that self-scratching to try to push off what it is that is making them so groggy.

I am not sure about the one parent when baby wakes: My husband and I were both there when DS came out of anesthesia. My only concern and heartache was that they waited too long - but they also mention: the baby doesn't recognize anyone at first. When they wake, they are very mad, disoriented, and just crying enough to break your heart.

They said he wouldn't remember it, but he did. I'm guessing he is in a very small category of children who did. It doesn't sound like you are still nursing - that might help a bit once he wakes up enough to be coordinated.

You literally won't be doing much when you take your son to the room for anesthesia. You will be going to help comfort him, and they ZIP you out ASAP after he's down. They don't let you stay at all. You give your hugs and everything before you go down the hall at all.

Good luck, and I hope you find a resolution with the hospital. Call ahead of time to see if they will relax it. When I was there, it sounded like if both parents needed to be there (like a Daddy's boy situation like yours) they would have taken it into consideration.

M.

hi L., my son had hernia surgery at the same age. i went in the room with him. everything was fine up until the very last second. he thought everything in the room was really cool, he loves science stuff and we did a good job hiding our nervousness while we were waiting and everything was fine. when they put the mask on him he got scared and he just looked so little and it was sooo hard for me. thank goodness i was wearing a mask too because i was falling apart inside. it was much worse for me than him, he was asleep in 3 seconds. i only say this because whichever one of you is less emotional should probably be the one to go in with him. and if that person is your husband, dont feel bad. know that it is better for your son and surely easier for you that way, its no fun to be in there. when he woke up we were both allowed to be there, i would think you will be too? and he was ok when he woke up, a little groggy and teary, some of them wake up crying, but it passes, just sit with him and hold him and give him treats, he will be ok. the hardest part of the whole thing is getting them to stay in bed for more than a few hours afterward! good luck

You may be better off not watching your son go under. When I was there for my son, it was very scary to see him as if he were lifeless. Seeing him off while he is himself could keep you focused on him that way, staying positive. Keep visualizing him healthy and happy after surgery, prayers help!

My son had surgery before he was 3. My husband went in with him while he fell asleep but we both were allowed in when he came out of recovery. Ask the doctor before you jump to any conclusions. The doctor we had wanted both of us in the room when my son was waking up. Good luck with everything.

I am so so sorry for your pain and his. I would let Dad go only because this is for him. Its what is going to make him more confortable. We have to be the stronger ones. :)

Hello there I have been there done that. I have a 10 yr old son who had surgery for an umbilical and inguenal hernia when he was 3 months old. Not fun, he did just fine and I believe I felt worse about the whole thing than he did. At that age they don't know what is going on anyway, BUT I have a 2 year old who just had surgery and was put to sleep also and yes only one parent was allowed to go in while they put him to sleep and one parent bedside when he woke up. I will tell you as a mom it is horrible to deal with all of this so I feel for you BUT know that as long as one of you can be there for him that is what you should focus on. Know that he will be comforted by one of you and that HE will feel better whether it is you or his father. Stay positive that everything is going to be fine and you will get to see him before you know it. It is so true what they say about kids being resiliant, they act like nothing ever happened just hours later. Best of luck to you and your family. Hope this helped a little.

My daughter has had a few surgeries and my husband has been the one in there everytime, with an exception of a time they absolutely couldn't calm her down(she refused to have another surgery & was putting up a good fight)! It is just as nerve wracking w/each one, but know that you are his mom and no matter what, who do they come running to! Usually they will give them a cocktail of something to get them a little drowsy so it's easier and they normally don't begin the IV until they are asleep. My heart goes out to you, but my nephew had this same surgery when he was around the same age & things went along smoothly. I won't bother telling you not to worry, but just bring along a book or magazine that will help you pass the time. I would find out about the recovery part because I know they allowed my husband & I to both be there when Sami came to. One good thing to do is bring along a special bear or stuffed animal. We took her Build A Bear a few days before knee surgery and while she was asleep the nurses were cute they put a little net cap on the bear & wrapped a bandage around it's knee. Good luck!

our daughter had tubes put in when she was just over 2. they also said one parent and since I am more emotional we opted for my husband. when we got there we were both allowed in and allowed to stay until she was out. we then waited in recover and she was carried to us where I held her for about 30 minutes. for us the surgery was maybe 10 min and recovery was right nearby so it was quick. hope yours goes as well.

My daughter had surgery around that age and had to be put to sleep. I walked next to the bed going into the OR and was only in there for a minute when they started the anesthesia. It was very quick. She woke up in the recovery room with both of us there. You may both be able to see your son wake up.
It's going to be scarier for you than him. Bring a lovey for him and a few toys to entertain him before the procedure in case you have a wait. Try not to act nervous in front of him while waiting. Let him play if he can while waiting.
I hope the surgery goes well. Good luck.

Hi L.,

My son who is now 16 months old had a tracheostomy at 5 weeks. Since then he has had 4 more operations. For all 5 operations we were in Cornell (Manhattan) and they had the same rule - only 1 parent - but rules were made to be broken. The doctor has the deciding factor - you can get clearance from him on the day of surgery or when the office calls you - ask them! My husband and I both go right into the operating room with our son and you can be right there when they put him to sleep...hold his hand - sing a song - make him at ease! Both parents can also be in the recovery room for when he wakes up and prepare yourself - he'll probably be cranky! Also - dont forget - you are his only advocate - if something doesnt look right or you dont like the way that the nurses do something- speak up! We have been in and out of the hospital 5 times since Clinton was born and I never ever ever leave him alone not for even a moment! Always myself and/or my husband are at his side! I dont want to scare you but there are alot of things that I have seen go on in the hospital - that really shouldnt - when the parents arent around!

L.,
I live in Connecticut and when my son had his surgery only one parent went into the operating room with him but when he was in recovery and waking up both my husband and I were with him. My husband went in with him, I was too emotional for it and then a few minutes later came out to console me. After surgery it was me who was holding and snuggling him at first. Hope this helps. Your son will be fine, he won't remember a thing and will bounce back within a few days. Remember kids heal much quicker than us.

Hugs,
T.

from my experience - it is almost easier to not be the patient who goes in to the room. my son had 5 procedures and i was happy to not go in to the room when he was put to sleep. my husband did it most of the times - it is an awful thing to watch them go to sleep. my husband made me do it a few times, it would get too much for him as well.

My 3 yr old just had surgery. My hubby and I discovered a lot about ourselves during the process. I was calmer during the actual surgery - but he handled the post-surgery better than I did. My point is simply that whichever of you will be more relaxed and comforting to your son is the person who should be with him. If it's him before the surgery, and you after, that's fine. I don't think it has to be the same person - just the one who will be able to remain calm and comfort your boy.

On a side note, ours has already practically forgotten both the surgery - and the recovery afterward. Your boy will do the same thing very quickly!

Hi L.,

My heart goes out to you, it can be so difficult to stand by and not be able to do anything...including be in the same room. Even if you can't be in the room though, you can do something that is more powerful than anything...you can pray. Spend that time lifting your little guy up in prayer and pray for his doctors during that time. Then, trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lifting you and your son up in prayer. Please let us know how everything goes.

God Bless,
C.

Yes, this is more scary for Mommy than your little one. My daughter has been put under 2X for ear tubes (at about age 5 & then again at 6). Neither of us were allowed in the actual room where they did the procedure. We talked about everything ahead of time (not sure that will help given your son's young age). When we said our goodbyes, we kept it very short and positive. We were very careful about the looks on our faces. Remember, if you look worried, your little guy will think he should be worried. My daughter took the nurse's hand and actually skipped down the hall. Afterward, only one of us was initually allowed in the recovery room. My daughter chose my husband for the first surgery. He is very calm and reassuring. The second time, she chose me and all went well.

About 2 years ago, she had to be put under for just a few minutes for an endoscopy. We were both allowed in the room when she was put under. I have to tell you, I don't think I ever want to see that again. Your brain tells you that your child is fine, but seeing her fine one minute and then just fading out was frightening. Next time, I think I'll send my husband in.

Truthfully, if you have faith in the doctors, it really won't matter who is there. One parent should be as good as both. Just PLEASE don't make a big deal of saying goodbye. Keep it very matter-of-fact and your son will think everything is fine.

Best of luck & you'll get through it. Your son will likely have no bad memories afterward.

Hello...When son my son had surgery when he was 19 months old, Both his father and I were allowed in before the surgery and in recovery. You should address your concern with your doctors because I believe in these situation children are treated different then adults...

Good luck..