My son is three months shy of being 5. He is very smart, able to recite many poems and good at drawing. But each time there is a visitor to our house, he will ask that person to buy things for him, and he even asks him/her not to tell me. What can I do? Please help me?
Explain to him that it's rude to ask guests to buy things for him. And at this age, tell him he shouldn't keep secrets from you.
Also, you may want to give guests a heads up that he's doing this. Then they won't be caught off guard. :)
Everytime we visit my nephew he asks 'what did you bring me?'.... when we say nothing he asks 'well why not?'...cuz its just a visit, not your birthday or christmas.
So one day, I walked into the room and he asked 'what did you bring me?'. I said, 'That depends. what did you get me?' .... 'um, nothing'... 'Wow! That's what I got you!'
M.
Have a friend come over and when he asks let the friend tell him how rude it is., or grandma, Auntie. Whomever, get the adults on your side. Let them know first that you need their help in doing this.
Also they should let him now that they would never keep information from you, ever.
LOL honestly that's hysterical but I'm sure that's not what you want to hear ;p.
This would be a great situation for the "positive opposite" technique. You would say:
"When people come over, we don't ask them to buy us things and we certainly don't ask them to keep secrets. That's bad manners, and a big, smart boy like you can use good manners! So when people come over, we're never going to ask them to buy something, right? Instead, I want to you show them where to hang up their coats and see what they want to drink [or show them your turtle, or whatever little task he can do]. Can you do that? I bet you can. Let's practice now! I'm going to pretend I'm visiting, and you show me what you're going to do. Who should I pretend to be?"
Then you pretend a few times, and tell him that he gets points for doing such a great job pretending, and the next time someone comes over, when he follows the routine - and doesn't ask them to buy something - he gets more points. Then he can cash in his points for a privilege (extra TV time, a special dessert, a trip to the playground, whatever - in my house it's 10 points = 10-15 minutes of music or games on the iTouch). It shouldn't take long for him to break his old habit and learn the new behavior, and you can taper off the points after a short while (a couple of weeks usually works if you can practice it a couple of times a day and put it into work in a real situation regularly). My five-year-old took it upon himself last year to become the household host for our guests. When he was four, he just randomly started asking guests if he could get them a drink and them would rattle off a list of snacks, then would go and try to get everything and serve it! It never would have occurred to me that someone so young would do this, but it's actually a great way to make them feel important and gives them something specific to do when people come over.
You need to sit down with him and explain to him that its not nice and bad manners. You can also add that there are a lot of people that dont have money buy simple things they need. Ask him how he would feel if someone didnt buy milk for their baby because he wanted a toy? Be prepared for a smart answer though lol Let him know that everytime he asks people to buy him things, that they tell you (he doesnt know if they do or not) and that he is going to be punished each time they let you know.
I would tell him it is inapporiate behavior. I would be embrassed. I would explain why we can't say things to people. It doesn't always come across cute when a child say this type of coments.
Well you train him not to do those things, its like everything else we train our children to do or not do, training up a child goes on until they leave your home, and sometimes even after that in certain situations.
My DD used to do this when she was about 2 (she is well advanced for her age ;) but it was food. Whenever we would go to the neighbor's or family's she would ask to eat as soon as she walked in the door. It was because the neighbors and family would give her candy and sweets when she wouldn't get them at home. I had to sit her down and explain to her that that was not polite and that if she continued that I would not take her to those places any more. I also had to put my foot down at people's homes (to THEM) because I would tell her NO and they would do it when I wasn't looking, especially the neighbors who were foreign. I finally had to tell their sons (who were older teenagers) to tell them not to give her sweets because then she would not eat dinner at home. One neighbor helped me a lot, when she would come over and ask, they told her no (but at their house she would ask for bread?!) One day I even pulled out a slice while we were there, from home. She frowned. I would suggest finding out who may be sabotaging you. Perhaps your son has just gotten used to getting gifts when people visit, and maybe at some time someone said that it will be a secret? He is old enough to behave himself and explain to him and family that if he does it he will get a time out. Hopefully that will keep them from doing it as well
