My mistake...how Do I Get Him to Fall Asleep Alone WITHOUT the Meltdown Now?

My daughter would get out of bed, I would put her back, she would get out again. This went on and on for hours sometimes. So what I did (I saw this on Super Nanny) is sit in her room on the floor, my back to her w/ my head down, no talking to each other until she would fall asleep. She always stayed in her bed and wouldn't get up. She would try to talk to me but I just had to ignore her. I did this for about a week and it worked like a charm! A friend of mine recently tried this on her 2 yr old son and it worked for her too. Good luck and congrats on your new addition!

Was he falling asleep on his own before you had the baby? If yes, this could be some regression. Is he in a crib or a bed? Is he getting out on his own or just screaming for you to come back?

I like SuperNanny's approach where you return the child to bed every time they get out of bed. The first time you tell them very sweetly, "No it's time for bed. I love you!" and give them another kiss and/or hug. The second time you are more firm: "No, back to bed." with no kiss or hug. After that you just keep returning them to bed without saying anything or having any other interaction. Some kids will keep this up for hours - once on the show one kid got out of bed something like 137 times! But the parents did the same thing every time - stuck him back in the bed without saying anything. They did not show any emotion or say one word. Eventually they give up because they realize that they are not going to get a different response. Many times kids are persistent because they are just trying to break you down and you have to stand firm.

In another method I heard about, you tell the child they need to stay in their bed, but you will be back to check on them in five minutes. They are willing to wait because that doesn't sound very long and they know you will be back. You come back in five minutes, tell them you are just checking on them, and then leave. Let them know you will be back again in ten minutes. If they start to fuss or get out of bed, take them back to bed and tell them again, you will be back to check on them. Then leave. Keep increasing the length of time until they are asleep.

I have not really had to use this on my daughter because she is really good about going to bed and staying there and falling asleep (it helps to have a routine too - like stories, etc.). But a few times she's started crying after she's been in bed, I've told her I will be back to check on her and that's made her happy. Now she will ask me if I will be back to check on her and I always say yes, and she's fine. I will check on her 10 to 15 minutes later, and she's always zonked out.

Good luck and sweet dreams! I hope this helps!

This is going to be hard no matter how you do it however you can start preparing him after dinner that he is going to lay down by himself tonight and that you will be right outside if he needs anything. Just keep reiterating that fact as you start your nightime routine and then when you lay him down say "ok goodnight, I am going to leave now but don't worry i can hear everything right outside" or something like that. I don't think you are going to be able to get aroung him being upset or crying but atleast it won't be a shock. After you leave go in and check on him every 5 minutes and explain to him that it's nightime and that you love him. Don't lay down with him at all. You might try giving him a shirt of yours and let him hug that and fall asleep. 2 year olds are very hard because they are just starting to understand things. Just be strong with your descision and be consisant. God bless!

The EXACT same thing happened with my son. I was on bed rest so laying down with him was the easiest way to do things when my husband wasn't home and then our son just got into the habit of laying with me. Then along came baby girl and it was a bedtime free for all. We had to change things but chose to do it in stages so that he wouldn't associate it with some sort of preference for the new baby.

What I did was have him lay down on the sofa beside me instead of in the bed with me. I sat on the sofa with the baby in my arms or beside me in her carrier or swing and laid him with his head by my lap so that I could pat his back. Then I moved him to the other end of the sofa while I sat on the sofa. Sometimes I held the baby and sometimes I didn't. For naps we just left him on the sofa and at night we would move him to his room.

When he was used to that we moved the show to his room, where he laid down and I sat in a chair in the room. Then eventually outside the room. Then in the living room.

That's how we did it. Don't be yourself up. You did what you had to do in the situation you were in. Don't worry he won't go to middle school sleeping in your bed. It will work itself out.

L.

There are many ways from baby gating the door to just putting him back time after time... meltdowns will occur, but not forever. I choose to continue to lie w/ my 3 year old - and enjoy the time. We have found a way to make it not take AS long. I read a book or two, then she reads some herself while I leave the room. Then she comes to get me for "bed". Typically 5-10 minutes of cuddles, then she's off to sleep. Good luck!

I will be awaiting the advice too as this is the same thing I have been doing and baby #2 is due in 2 short months! Good to know that I am not the only one. I know this is my mistake, but I am tired and have been quite sick (hospitalized and all) for most of my pregnancy. Good Luck to us!

Very normal! With my kids, I was sit on the bed, often nursing the baby, and let my toddler lay up against my back (kind of) or sometimes pat her if I didn't need both hands for the baby. This is one of the first lessons in sharing. Eventually I would stand by the bed "because the baby wants me to stand" while the toddler continued laying. Sometimes I would also leave the room to get something, but return quicky, kind of mini-trainings in staying in bed. It seemed to work.
I agree with Lisa, too. We often let the toddler fall asleep in a little sleeping bag wherever we were, or even in our bed, and then move her after she fell asleep. As long as she would lay still and close her eyes, she could be wherever. Hang in there!