I will try to write some thoughs that may help you think further about this, and hopefully clear your mind. Please know that I have the best intentions if you do not like something I write.
. Your husband sounds really wonderful, I am sure that out there would be a lot of women loving the idea of having a husband that will treat them like a Queen as you say he does.
. Marriage is a two way street, both persons have to work on maintaining the sparkle of the relationship, some times you alternate the effort other times is effortless. You give and take.... but... remember GIVE AND RECEIVE.
. Really, but I mean REALLY think that if what you have done you would like it DONE TO YOU, and what name you could put it, if it is not a way of cheating.
. Can you imagine how hurt you would feel if it was you in his place? How unfair when all you do is think, work and live for your family.
. Do you think he deserved it? As you talk about him it sounds like he did not deserved that.
. You want him to play difficult sometimes? Isn't playing for teenagers? You do not like being stable and loved?
. You have a lot of time in your hands.... why you don't look for something constructive, fun, helpful to do, there are A LOT of charities around town that need a hand. Maybe helping is not your treat but there are classes of everything out of your place you can join to keep you busy and have fun.
. I hear a lot of women that their husbands are jerks, that treats them really bad that are controling, violent, cheaters etc... you were lucky to find a good guy and you are looking for "adventure"
. The guy from the internet, what do you really know about him? You know how easy is to lie on line? He could be an extremely ugly person (inside and out) behind a models picture... or not. Have you not seen all the shows in TV? even commercials?
. You can work on feeling sexy... the way you dress, the way you treat yourself and your body, you could one day surprise your husband with crazy ideas for the bedroom..... Getting a nany one night without your husband knowing and taking him to a hotel... you will get a feeling of doing something naughty.... wearing a wig.... a sexy nurse custome..... other day planning a sexy night with sweet cream.... The idea is that YOU can actively do things to have that spice you crave for.
Last... I had a divorce many years ago.... being single is not as fun as you think it is, especially when you have kids. Finding a good guy is very I mean VERY difficult and I have a lot of single friends that will back me on this one.
After years and years of being alone and working on myself I found a wonderful husband that makes me very happy and that love as a have never loved anyone. He is a good guy and we are PARTNERS in this marriage, not all the time is honey. Sometimes I put more than I take and other times he puts a lot more than I do.
I really hope that the points I wrote help you think deep and clear you mind.
Christmas is time of hope a time of love and a time of union, when we mess things up we better fix them fast before we regret it.
You children have a father, the three of them, do you realize how BIG that is? and the best is that HE loves you and you love him. This is not a case were I stay with him for the children but he hurt, hit, cheat and God knows what else.
I wish you that found your truth and that your decision is the best one for everyone involved (directly and indirectly).
Love, joy, happiness and blessings.