My Introduction to 2 Year Old Tantrums!!!

Your son behavior is totally normal and I know this because my two year old son behaves the exact same way. He throws tantrums for no apparent reason, gives me attitude and refuses to eat what is placed in front of him. But, interestingly enough I was recently given some very good advice at a mall play area by a mother of 6 year old twin boys. She told me to ignore the tantrum behavior by walking away from him. Don't yell, reason or compromise, just totally ignore it and never give in to it. Prior to taking the advice,I was really wearing myself out wrestling with my son to take baths to get into his own bed at night and he would throw a fit every time. I started ignoring him and not wrestling with him over things and it worked. She told me that, at the time of a tantrum the child wants attention even if it's negative attention. So, if he or she sees that you're doing the complete opposite which is showing no attention at all to the tantrum they will eventually stop it because they're not getting what they're wanting. It really works with my son, plus it cut my stress level down tremendously, no more tension headaches. Now, when he starts a tantrum I go in the next room and shortly after he comes looking for me to give me a hug while wiping his tears away. Then he willingly does what I've asked him to do.

It's tough being a member of the terrible two club, but it too sha'll pass. :0) Good Luck

He is testing you. Timeouts will work if you are consistent. Sometimes they can beat you down but try to be consistent. You will both come out ahead in the end. Don't offer bribes. Just calmly put him in a spot and reinforce that he needs to calm down before you can hear him. For the first couple of times, you may need to put him there a couple of times before he learns to stay and then you stay nearby, ignoring his outbursts by reading or watching TV. Don't communicate (except to put him back in the spot) until its over. Normally, we don't start timeouts until they stop crying or screaming. Then, the timeout is 1 minute per age year. - Mother of seven

I have to agree with both of the responses you have already received. I have been teaching preschool for the last 20 years. Right now I am the director of a Mother's Day Out program at my church. In addition to what the other two wise women said as a response you need to give extra attention to him when he is displaying appropriate behavior. He will soon relize that it is the "good" behavior that gets the attention he is desiring. And praying through each tantrum on your end doesn't hurt either. You might consider looking for a MDO program near you to give you a break as a mom. You take better care of your family when you're taking care of yourself.
CS

VERY NORMAL.

Is he talking much? My son had an expressive (he didn't talk but understood things) speech delay and I noticed my ds got really frustrated (and hence the tantrums) when he was not speaking a whole lot. They would also get worse when he was tired or hungry. Sometimes he'd get so worked up I wouldn't know what was going on. I found that teaching him some signs (and this was also suggested by his speech therapist) helped open him up a lot both in terms of understanding him and getting him to eventually talk. I think he was just frustrated with his inability (at the time) to communicate adequately. I also found Dr Karp's book -- happiest toddler on the block -- to be helpful. The dvd was good too because it shows you the techniques.

Tantrums are very normal. Lovely huh?

I am right there with you honey! My son is doing the exact same thing but he won't be two untill May 2. I agree that walking away is the best thing and not giving in. But I tried something once that worked as well. I was told that when toddlers throw fits, part of it is that they are frusturated and don't know how to express it any other way. Sometimes they just want you to understand what they are feeling so I got down and had a fit right there beside him! I was looking at him and voicing the same complaints the way he was and acting just like him. He stopped screaming and looked at me and started laughing! We both ended up laughing- he still didn't get his way but it seemed like he was ok with me understanding how he felt. Sounds crazy, I know but it worked that time anyway!

My daugher went through the exact same thing. Because my husband has so many food allergies we carefully examined everything that she was eating and found out that she could not handle anything with red food dye in it. For some reason it would just make her go crazy. The worst night ever was her second birthday party when she had cake with pink frosting. The sugar and red food dye really just caused her to loose it. I had to sit in the corner and wrap my arms and legs around her so that she could even start to calm down. So we took away all the red food dye and within two days she was a different child. I've also have a friend that apple juice does the same thing to her child. So maybe you should look at what he's eating. I would take away all sugar for at least a week and see if that helps. Also if he's throwing a fit I wouldn't offer him a reward like a snack or a DVD. We used to put our daughter a clear area of the house and just let her throw her fit there. We told her that she could get up when she was done with her fit. If she got up and was still screaming, she went back to the area. I know it's hard but I think part of it is just being two. But trying other things won't hurt right now either!