My Girl Balks at the Thought of Going to Summer Fun

Updated on May 10, 2008
S.H. asks from Kailua, HI
5 answers

Hi everyone. I have a 5 year old girl. *she is in Kindergarten now, and for the summer, I want to enroll my daughter in the Summer Fun program, which is being held at her elementary school. Its a great program, with an outstanding reputation and it's only $100. We can't afford other programs, so I was so jazzed when I heard about this Summer Fun program.

Okay...but my girl is TOTALLY resisting and says in no uncertain terms, that she does NOT want to go to Summer Fun. The Registration is TOMORROW morning, and I wanted to sign her up, as the program fills up very quickly and they have limited slots available.

Now, my question is: since this is my "first time" with having to deal with "summer" issues with a child this age.... what do I do, since SHE does not want to attend...???
Do I still force the issue and sign her up anyway.... or, not? I'm sure it will be a mini-rebellion-war when time comes for the start date. My Hubby feels we should just sign her up.... and she just will deal with it when time comes, and she will see that it is fun. But yes, it's hard to "make" a kid do something they don't want to.

Having her just stay home ALL day, ALL summer is just not a real option for us. She would get too bored, and I can't possibly have an itinerary for her ALL day everyday...plus with my 20 month old. Sure I did do mini versions of this for spring break and winter break....I had a "schedule" for her and projects and activities. BUT, for summer, we wanted her to try something different, something outside of the house.

Well, instead of rambling. What do you all suggest? Do I "make" her go to Summer Fun, or not? *yes, we did talk with her about it and "explained" what Summer Fun is and all the fun activities and excursions they will have. One of her favorite classmates is even going to attend as well. Still, she says she absolutely does NOT want to go and just wants to stay home.
Thanks~

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Tough one... I mean, I was always home all summer and my mom didn't plan things for me, and I wasn't terribly bored. I mean, think about it- do you want her to expect to be entertained all the time, or do you want her to learn to be creative and entertain herself? Also, is the program refundable? If not, you may not want to risk it. And have you asked her why? Maybe some of the other kids in her class have told her something about it, or she's afraid of a kid or group of kids who are going to be there. If it were me, and it were my child (with our personalities) I would make her go, but I'm a mean mom sometimes, and I know that my child is reserved but opens up once I leave. Good luck, though.

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used to work as a Summer Camp Counselor while in college. There was always a few kids that really had a difficult time with the transition of mommy-to-school. But, by the Fall when they entered Kinder - they were totally ready for school. Personally, I'd rather have my kids go through the transition in a summer fun environment which by nature is more fun, then go through it in kinder where they will be expected in sit still, etc. which may not be as fun. I say go for it! You might have to really stick to your guns, drop her off, leave, and not return until pick up time. I remember one child who got so upset he threw up. BUT, he knew mom was hiding around the corner, ready to take him home.

~N.

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

She may be just 'trying' you to see if she has any power in a decision that is to be made about her. I would sign her up, and then take it one day at a time. I would also keep an eye on what goes on, maybe something happened that she doesn't want to happen again. Drop in unexpectedly from time to time. You could lose $100, but it may be worth it to find out what she is trying to communicate -won't be the last $100 she will cost you :) kids are like that.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S H:
You know, I have this feeling your daughter may be resisting, because she thinks in (her mind,) that she won't see or be with you at all the whole summer.She already attends elementary school, so she is use to spending time away from you.You probably could have said nothing at all about the summer fun camp, and just dropped her off at the school,and she would have thought it (just another day at school)with the exception she would have entirely more fun!I think, I'd sign her up, and not say any more about the camp.I think, the more you make of it, the more skeptical she will be. At five, she doesn't have that good of an understanding of (time) She probably wouldn't know, when summer begins and ends.So my advice, would be to go ahead and sign her up,but don't make mention of it again. You will continue to make her leary of the idea.When the camp starts, simply take her to her school like you normally do, She will see her friends,and have alot of fun things to do over the summer.The best to you S H

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A.B.

answers from Reno on

Maybe this would be a good time to talk to her about the problem. Ask her what is wrong, what she is feeling. Ask specific questions. Are you afraid it will be like school? Are you afraid that mommy won't spend as much time with you? Do you think you will miss out on other activities with other friends? Are you having problems with any of the other kids in the program? Are you having problems with any of the leaders in the program? What would you rather do while you are at home? Are you afraid of being alone or not making friends? If you can help her by verbalizing some of the reasons that she might be pushing so hard to stay home, she might be able to tell you what is going on in her head/heart. Children can't always verbalize what the emotion is because they simply don't have the experience.
If that doesn't work, why don't you take her with you to the registration process, talk to her about the program some more and make a "deal" with her. Tell her that you think it will be a lot of fun and you want her to try it out. Ask her if she would be willing to try it for one week. If she doesn't like it after that, she will be allowed to stay home instead. She will probably like it, but this will give her the opportunity to make her own decision. If she says okay, you probably don't have anything to worry about. Make sure that if you are going to make the deal (hoping she will enjoy the program), that you are willing to honor your part. Don't make the deal unless you are willing to allow her to drop the program (and waste your $100) after one week.
If she chooses to stay home, I wouldn't force her into the program. If you are willing to lose your $100 completely, sign her up anyway, but like you said, you can't force a child to have fun. If she isn't having fun in this program, eventually you will allow her to stay home anyway, so you will have lost that $100. So don't pay for it unless you are willing to face the fact that it might not work out.

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