My Family Won't Babysit

Updated on November 17, 2006
C.G. asks from Philadelphia, PA
9 answers

When my cousins were coming here to my house which I share with my aunt and grandmother. They would not have a problem watching their children, but know they do not want to watch my daughter so I can go out.

What can I do next?

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M.C.

answers from Dover on

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.. WHEN I JUST HAD MY DAUGHTER I HAD NO PROBLEMS GETTING A BABYSITTER BUT WHEN I HAD MY SON NO ONE WILL WATCH MY CHILDREN . MAYBE FOR A HOUR BUT THAT ABOUT IT. MY MOTHER USED TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER EVERY WEEKEND BUT NOW THERES TWO SHE WILL ONLY TAKE THEM IF ITS A SPECIAL EVENT . SHE TAKES MY DAUGHTER FOR A WEEK AND WONT MY SON. I DONT GET IT. BUT THERES NOTHING I CAN DO.. MY FIANCES SISTER WATCHES THEM LIKE ONCE EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS I HAVE TO PUT THEM TO SEE FIRST BEFORE I CAN GO OUT. BUT ITS A VERY RARE THAT ANYONE WILL WATCH THEM. EVERYONE SAYS WHEN THEY ARE OLDER THEY WILL TAKE THEM BUT NOT NOW. MAYBE TRY ONE OF THOSE BABYSITTER THINGS THE STATE HAS? MAKE SURE THEY HAVE REFERENCE AND MAKE SURE YOU CHECK UP ON THE REFERENCES TOO .

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Maybe they don't want to babysit because you guys live together. Do they help you out with her on a daily basis? What is the living situation? Are you staying with them or are they staying with you? If you are staying with them, they may feel that they are already doing enough for you. If not, do they have any issues with you or your daughter? Have you asked them to babysit directly? You may have to ask them for help straight up. If they do not want to help, well, you have to deal with what you have. Do you have friends that could help you out? Maybe other people with kids so you can take turns babysitting for each other. I feel for you because everyone, no matter how much they love their children, needs a break. I know I do! Take care.

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K.M.

answers from Allentown on

Perhaps finding an outside babysitter would relieve the stress for both you and your family.

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A.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi C.! You have some great responses, excellent advice. My parents (real dad, stepmother) won't watch my children. Although, when it comes to my stepmother's children, that's a different story. It's just not fair, but that's life. I had to learn to deal with it. Luckily, the other set of grandparents in their life are involved. I'm divorced from my older two children's father. His parents were involved. They are the only REAL grandparents they have. Same with my present husband...his parents are the only REAL grandparents my younger two will have. It's sad, really, but like the other response said, you have to just deal with it. I look at it as "them missing out".
Look to people who really care about you and your children, like friends, other family members, or a church family.
Hope this helped you out. Pray for strength and wisdom!

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C.H.

answers from Williamsport on

Hi C., my name is C.. Do you have any friends that you can have like a swap day? You can have them babysit your daughter for a night so you can have time for yourself and then you can baysit her child/children one night so she can have time to herself? I dont have anyone to watch my children either but one of my friends does this once a month with another friend of hers. I hope this helps a little.

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M.S.

answers from Scranton on

I know this might sound really goofy, but I'll babysit for you anytime! I am currently running an ad for children ages 2-4 for in-home care! I don't want to come across as some weirdo or anything. I have a two year old son named Dustin. He is the light of my world, but I needed money so I got a job. Well, I got a job at a daycare that was horrible with Dustin. He sat in a poopy diaper for three hours, and the poop was so dry that I had to literally scrape it off with a wipe. Then, his little butt started bleeding. So, I quit immediately because my son's well being is my number one priority. So, now I am trying to make some money this way! I do arts and crafts almost every day, as well as name, letter, and number tracer sheets with my son. We sing adorable songs about letters, and he gets a kick out of it all. I'm telling you this because if you ever need a babysitter, I would love the opportunity to care for your daughter. (I am waiting for my criminal background papers to be mailed to me, because as a parent I would want to see that info from someone wanting to watch my child! I can provide you with references, too.) If your family won't give you the break all parents need, allow me to help you out! I love kids, and my son would cherish having a play mate again!!

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

It's not their responsibility to watch your child; stop thinking that it is. Find someone willing to help you unconditionally.

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T.H.

answers from Altoona on

I feel ur pain, believe me. my bf and i would only ever go out maybe 2 times a year. my family doesnt help me much. i actually have to take a demotion at work because i dont have a babysitter to work at night, i only have daycare until midnight.i work full time. did u ever think about a daycare? mine is great, there are actually days i dont have to work and i have them at day care just for a few hours so i have some me time. i get really stressed out and have bad nerves now. their dad lives in new york right now so im doing this all by myself for the first time until we move up there. i dont have a babysitter at night to go out but i use my day care sometimes during the day and evening so i can get a break, it works great! my kids love it, they both have their own friends and when they walk in they all come running over, i hated the decision at first but now that i see that they love it it helps me out a lot.

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D.K.

answers from Lancaster on

Powerless. You can't make anyone do anything. It isn't great, no, but it is life. My family won't watch my kids. Now that they are older, my Mom will take one at a time for a week if my husband and I want to go away. That is the best I'm going to get from her. My ex's parents, wouldn't watch our kids. We were five minutes down the road. But she would drive 3 hours to VA to watch a soccer game or babysit her other child's children. All you can do is accept it, find other alternatives, and live your life. I wish you the best of luck.

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