My Ex Is Driving Me Crazy

A little perspective here from an outside party. Look on the bright side. A fifteen month old needs horse play and it benefits your child to be exposed to his dad in addition to you. Daddies play differently from Mommies. Studies show that little kids need horse play to develop emotionally secure attachments. I understand how frustrating it must be to hand him over on those Sundays - I would die - but you chose this man and, by extension, his family. So they don't do everything the way you think they should. It sounds like the grandparents DO care about your baby. Different isn't necessarily wrong. Again, you chose this man to father your child and now you must allow him to be the father, even if he is a loser. Thank heaven you have your in-laws to oversee the visits and to build a good relationship with their grandchild. I would do all I could to form a great bond with them since they share your goal - to love that baby. Negativity only breeds more. Buck up and put your baby's interests ahead of your hurt feelings over the split relationship. If you form a respectful dialogue with the grandparents, things will be easier for you and, most importantly, for the baby.

I've never heard of anyone getting overnight custody of a child that isn't 2 or 3 years old. He is simply not old enough to be sleeping in a different place with different people - that is not in the best interest of the child. I urge you to find a lawyer who specializes in this type of custody and get it resolved. Your son is worth whatever it costs - this just doesn't sound right. Good luck!

I hate to tell you but your ex will still drive your crazy 10 years from now. I am divorced 6 years now and my children were 5 and 6 when it happened. Easier said than done but you will have to learn to let go because if not you will drive yourself crazy. If the courts appoint him custody too you can not do anything when he has time with kids also. The more you say seems the more your ex will try to do the opposite. Most divorces are bitter and they only hurt the kids because they are the ones that are put in the middle. Try to be your best and STAY BUSY! That will keep your sanity when your babies are gone. Clean your house, do your yard work, shop for yourself and try to stay calm in front of your kids when talking to your ex. Sounds like he is just stupid to me! If he doesnt know better his mom should - come on now! Give your suggestion and stop - dont keep harping at him it will only get the 2 of you into a fight. Am I right? It does get somewhat easier with time - but not a lot in my case. The ex is striking back at you and this is his only way to get back at you - its kinda like its my time you cant tell me what to do! That kinda thing. Try to stay calm - good luck to you!

J.
Bedford

Girl, you have got your hands full. I know the feeling though. I am going through a divorce right now. My husband was an alcoholic and abusive. He was never interested in being a dad to our daughter. I left him before our son was born. He has seen him once since he was born nearly 7 months ago. He has hardly helped me out financially and is threatening to take me to court for custody of the kids. He thinks he should have rights to them when he has not been there hardly at all. My kids do not even know their father. He tries to talk to our 2 year old on the phone, but she is not interested. He lives in PA, and we live in Texas. His parents have always controlled what he says and does also. Many of our fights when he would hit me were because of arguments I had with his mother. She was always criticizing my skills as a mother, telling me my rules were stupid, telling me I was a bad mom and wife, that CPS was going to come and take my child. When my daughter was 1 year old, she fell off the bed and broke her collarbone. That was when the CPS comment was made. She has since broken her collarbone again, she fell off of the couch. I have one of those really low couches. She likes to climb on everything, but it was just the way she fell on her arm. I knew immediately that it was broken. The other day my car overheated and me and my kids were stranded for about an hour in the 100 degree weather. My ex told me that I was putting our children in danger and that I needed to get a new car that was more reliable. He always says that I am putting our children in harms way. He is racist too. My daughter is bilingual because her babysitter speaks Spanish. I think its great, but he has an issue with it. I tell you, men can be ridiculous. One minute they could care less about the children, but when life changes on them, they think they should try to stick it to us by using our children. My kids are my life. I have not even been out in over a year. I do not have anyone to really watch the kids, nor any friends to go places with. It is hard to make friends when you are a single mom. Any suggestions?