My Divorce Is Hurting So Much........

Ebunny,
this is painful because part of you is gone, and what's left has not been appreciated as it should! Sure sometimes or most times dad is more fun than mom, because mom is the one that disciplines the most. But that won't take away from you loving and being there for your kids. Now that dad is gone, you need to be a little more personal with your children, that doesn't mean to stop disciplining them, just reaffirm them your love even when disciplining them. People are quick to judge and you need to realize that, that it doesn't matter what you are going through but they look at the cover, not the book. They don't know how it was at home behind closed doors. Even your family doesn't really know even when they think they do!
Don't give them the time of day!!! Keep loving your kids, doing what's right, and be proud of yourself for having the guts to get out of that relationship.
Many people stay because of what others may say! If you did all you could and it didn't work, then it's better that you ended it.
Remember that it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, it is going to hurt no matter what. But you need to focus on the positive. If they (x-friends and family) think he is so wonderful, tell them to marry him. We are all different and what may seem acceptable for me to take from my husband, may be crazy for you!!! So, it's not that we are all wrong or right, but we are all different.
Just keep thinking on the positive things, this is not the end of your world; but simply an open door to a better and healthier life.
I would suggest you go for counseling, you might find some help there that will show you things you don't even know about yourself and will strengthen you in this time of grief.
Blessings

It's painful b/c you made a choice that is in the best interest of your children and yourself and that fact is lost on others.

My neighbor went through this a year ago. She kicked him out and we all thought she was crazy b/c our version of their life was very different... until she took him back and he threw her down the stairs in front of their two-year-old. Apparently these types of things had been going on for a while and he was having an affair to top it all off. Her embarassment and need to hide this from others led to us having a very different idea of her daily life and her withdrawing from us.

Needless to say, I invited her over for a glass of wine and "girl talk" with our other female neighbors and she finally shared the situation. It was very painful for her, but she was able to reconnect and share the "real story". You may consider having just your family over for this conversation. No "finger pointing" just a "this is the deal" conversation. If they still think you are crazy, then take a deep breath and find some friends who will support you!

Divorce/separation is painful even when you nearly hate them. It is just a difficult process to go through. While it is nice to have someone on your side, this is something you can conquer on your own. Be strong, put that chin up, and carry on. You have enough pain going on, don't allow others to tear you up. Do something that makes you feel better about you, jog, tennis, karate, art, something, just get out there and put that energy to good use.

Divorce is so painful, even when you know you are doing the right thing, there will always be a special place for one you have loved for so long. I would try to sit and talk with your family, make sure they understand that this was the best choice for you and you need their support. Let any others go, and try to find new circles to run in. Join a exercise class, or a wine appreciation class, or what ever you find interesting. Interact with the others who share that same interest and see if new bonds form. I would also say that therapy could be a great thing for you. It gives you a place to vent and to work out your feelings about all these huge changes in your life.

Maybe you are grieving, not what was...but what night have been if things were better? There's going to be some adjustment and it's normal to feel upset when your world is completely changing. Many, MANY times being a mother is a thankless, under appreciated, unrecognized job. Yet where would the world be without mothers doing the best they can for their children?
Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. That's not going to happen overnight. You will be bound together for quite a while b/c of your kids, but little by little, you will get on with YOUR life and know you are doing the right thing. Best wishes!

I am so sorry for your loss. You know that they say divorce can be worse than a death?

You sound like a very private person and that is fine, but this is a time when you need to share with someone what went on and what you are feeling. If you do not feel like you can share with a close friend or family, you need to see a therapist. This is person that will listen and help guide you to find the healing that you need.

Have you shared the truth about your marriage and your husband with your mother at least? If no one know what happened, it is going to seem strange that you went through a divorce. How else can they sympathize with you?

I am sending you a healing heart.

Devorse is a rough goperhaps you should tell some one what went on between you and your husband people will change good luck i am a lucky one we have been marries 61 years one of the things we do is kiss before we go to bedsay ilove yuo and never carry over the problems of the day to the next ad no hills