My Daughters Husband Walked Out.

I am sorry this happened to your daughter. I don't know either one of them but they way you tell the situation it sound like he was just using her to get through school. If she really want it to work then she should ask him to go to councelling with her if he refuses then he really doesn't want his marriage to work & as hard as it is she needs to move on & let him be or it will just be harder for her in the long run... Good Luck & God Bless

My heart aches for your daughter. I have to agree with the others. Sounds like he was using her. Advice-encourage her. Lay out the options (backyard best) and be very honest and then let her decide on the action to take (give her a week or so) then support her all the way. If she does not chose a course of action-draw the line on your support--don't let her wallow in self pitty and hopelessness. She is an adult and needs to decide. I pray she is not pregnant. Remind her that she cannot change him. She can only change herself. I would get her counseling to difuse anger and bitterness. Has your husband gone to him to let him know marriage is not an easy thing and takes 100 percent from both parties. Get his storey too--both sides to every storey. I hope this is helpful. I really feel for you. Getting counseling for you and your husband may not be a bad idea either. Remember too. Ask God for wisdom. When you ask Him and listen, He will answer.

Sorry to say this but it looks like he may have just been looking for a Meal Ticket and someone to put him through School and Pay all of the bills.

My advise would be to Divorce him and go for all of the money that she spent on his Education.

Sounds like after he Graduated he left her, so that is all he was after. It is very Sad but there are men out there like this.

I hope she can recover and move on and learn from all of this. This Man sounds like he is Scum.

Hopefully she can find another job soon. Sorry that he lead he on.

If he just walked out, he is not the person you all thought he was. Could there be someone else? Tell your daughter not to make any rash decisions but to look for the red flags and keep her eyes open and pray for guidance. Maybe they can go to marriage counseling. She can talk to a counselor herself too. (It helped me)

I would definitely get his side of the story too. My initial thought, after you'd said she quit her job to be a wife and mom, then in your about me section said you were anxious to become a grandma someday, is that he doesn't feel like she's pulling her weight if she's not working as they don't yet have children. Or maybe he doesn't want them yet and she's ready and it's causing tension. Who knows? The only thing you can do is listen to your daughter and support her no matter what she decides.

Advice: keep the lines of communication open. Don't say anything bad about JerkWad (my nickname), until SHE has decided what to do. If they reconcile after some good marriage counseling, and you were venomous, that will be held against you for the rest of your life.

Treat it like you would a death, just tell her you are so sorry, and there to support her in any way she needs. If she wants to call him a JerkWad, let her, but try and steer clear of getting sucked in, just in case there is a reversal.

I'm so sorry for you. Sometimes a person makes a decision believing that it only affects them, but nothing could be farther from the truth. He has left you, and her, no good options. I'm so sorry for her.

Believe that things will work out, stroke her hair, and tell her that tomorrow will be a better day.

L.,

Is this your 23 year old? If they have been married 3 years, I think this feller wanted a room mate rather than a wife. Seems as if he had his sights set on going to college and not necessarily being married. Had they gone together and planned to get married for a while before they did get married?

I agree with the poster who said that someone needs to talk to her husband and it needs to be your daughter. IF there is a breakdown in communication and he is determined to move on..than she is young enough, cut the ties. Alert every bill collector, landlord and even her boss to the situation. This way everyone in her circle will be prepared for whatever the future holds.

I would also suggest that your daughter continue to work so that she is building her own credit and what have you. If she were standing in front of me, I would tell her to close any and all jointly owned accounts with his name on them so he has no claim to her hard earned money. Has he moved out? Since she seems to be independant, I would suggest she also consider moving into an apt that suits her needs and solely her needs!! Not back with Mom and Dad!! I know it sounds like tough love, but if she did move back with you, this could upset your household and your younger children's lives.

Support her yes, but I have seen way too many of my friend's who have gone through similar instances wind up in feuds with their kids based on the failures of "what Mom said to do" when the married kids started talking about divorce and than got back together. She was obviously mature enough to get married and start planning a family, right? It will make her stronger and more leary for the next relationship she gets in.

This sounds like an example of getting married too young. L., she sounds like a hard worker who comes from and very loving family...I would have told her to go to school herself, maybe travel and discover the world and than worry about having kids and a husband later on. At 23, she has her whole life ahead of her still...that is what I would be encouraging.

Big HUGS to you, I wish I would have had Mom source to speak to when I was havign hard times like this!!