My Daughters Are Constantly Fighting!

Have you Read the Toddlers Rules of Ownership?

We have the "whoever is touching it rule" here. If your Brother has the toy don't touch it, when he puts it down AND (very important and) walks away/starts playing with another toy. THEN you may play with it. You cannot follow him around waiting for the first opportunity to snatch the toy either. It takes a lot of GOYB (get off your butt :-) ) Parenting to gently redirect them and remind them of the rule but after hmmm I'd say 2 weeks or so for my kids the new rules sunk in and they now play quite nicely together and don't steal toys (Most of the time!)

When the rule is broken it's not necessary to punish either. Just make them give the toy back that's bad enough in their eyes LOL.

All I can offer is that I grew up with a little sister. And welcome to the world of girls and competition. The oldest feels picked on and just doesn't get it - may lash out - out frustration. The baby wants what the oldest gets and has and just can't wait. It was hard for my parents to Parent us the same. I wish they had, same rules and expectations. Now, we are women with a boy of 2 each we get along fine but there is always that competitive streak with the youngest and me the oldest just feeling picked on sometimes..............Good Luck. If you could find some common ground for something they both like or if you could enlist older sister to start helping younger at her level (youngest level) since she is a big girl and has been through that stuff it may help!

There is a discipline style called love and logic. Although I don't have two children, but I have used some of the prinicples on my two year old very strong willed son and they have worked. They have several books out, it is a father and son team that do seminars and you can even take classes...it has really helped having a toddler alot easier. Hope this helps! Good Luck!

Hi C.! I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old, too! I think these are tough times as far as discipline and playing together. Our pediatrician said that although our 1 yr old won't entirely understand the "time out" (we have a "naughty chair"), we should do it anyway. It diffuses the situation and separates them - and our 3-yr-old can see that it's "fair". We say "gentle" and show the 1-yr-old how to touch gently over and over again...it's hard. Keep it up - it'll work eventually! :-)

C.,
Although we dont have this problem much anymore, we sure used to.... If they fight over a toy....well its now mom and dads toy. yes this makes a nice pile of toys in ur closet but they get tired of losing toys quick and when they start sharing the right way again introduce a "new toy" every so often... worked wonders with us
good luck
T.

I have a 13 and 11 year old and still have the same problem..I too look for some great advice.

Wish I could help!

Hi C. ...
I don't have two daughters, but my son is 21 months old and my daughter is 4 months old ... my son makes a habit of taking my daughter's stuffed animals because he wants it and sometimes he will just walk up and hit her ... I don't think he realizes he can hurt her, but we put him in a chair and make him sit there ... if he gets up, he stays an extra minute for each time he gets out of the chair ... if we can't keep him in there, then we put him in his crib and make him stay there until he either stops throwing his fit (he's usually crying and screaming when we put him time out because he doesn't like to sit still) or until the baby goes down for a nap. He usually quiets down after about fifteen minutes. Good luck.