My Daughter Was Not Invited to Party

I say it was probally just a mistake with the invitation. I personally would not make it out to be a big deal to my child. This is something that happens to everyone in life. No one is invited to every party and everyone is regected some time in their lives. I would find out, but not make a big deal, because, is it really a big deal, she is in preschool, not middle school.

Before jumping to conclusions, are you sure that your daughter was indeed NOT invited? My 4-year old loses things or forgets to give me things all the time. Maybe the invitation got lost in the shuffle of coming and going.

Also, have there been any issues between your daughter and the little boy that may have caused the other mother to leave your daughter out?

Just to give the benefit of doubt to the other mother, maybe she just forgot your daughter accidentally. There are sixteen kids in my son's class and I often have a hard time remembering all their names for goodie bags and valentine's and invitations. Maybe it was simply an accident.

Assuming you've gone through all these things already, my next step would be to inquire with the teacher/s about the party and ask if they know why your daughter didn't get invited. If they don't know why, perhaps you can ask them to talk to the other mother, and let the other mother know your daughter's feelings are hurt.

Realistically, unless there have been previous issues between the children, it doesn't make any sense for every child to be invited but yours. There is probably a reasonable explanation.

K.,

Oh you're poor little girl :( It certainly can be hurtful to be the one singled out, and LEFT out of the fun. I hate to think that the mother would allow such an inconsiderate thing to happen to a 3 year old girl. So, I am inclined to believe that 'something' happened and it was not intentional... whether she simply didnt' get an accurate count of the kids, or the invite was somehow lost, or whatever, but I cannot imagine it was intentional. (at least I hope not).

If i were in your shoes, I would mention to her daycare person something like 'Is there a birthday party coming up that the kids have been talking about? can you explain to me if there is something happening with my daughter to cause her to be excluded from this event? she's been hearing the other kids talking about it, and I have to say that her feelings are very hurt that she wasn't included and I wanted to ask before I lost my composure with the other mother for being so inconsiderate of other kids feelings...i'd like to give her the benefit of doubt but at this point I am a little focused on helping my daughter deal with the rejection. Is there anything you can share with me about the daily interactions so I can understand better, or did she simply get overlooked?'

I would be slightly confrontational but not overly so...

I would definitely speak up though... and not in front of your daughter if possible. Then you have to think about what you will do if you get the late invite... because then at that point it's almost like you asked to be invited,...

I would probably send a card to the child with a 10$ gift certificate and gracefully decline attending but saying thank you for including "sally" (or whatever your daughters name is). But that's because I tend to be passive-agressive sometimes and cannot always control my censor button in social situations :) you may have complete control of your mouth, but i'm still mastering mine :)

LOL!

Good luck to you,...

Wow that's really young to have to experience rejection. I dont understand how some parents can be so inconsiderate. Perhaps it was an oversite so I would approach the mom & ask.
My daughter had the same experience in 6th grade. Of all her friends she was puposefully excluded. It backfired on the b-day girl when they all found out. Still my daughter was so hurt she couldn't stop crying. She is still learning to overcome her mistrust of other girls & she is 16. Yet she did learn a powerful lesson in considering other's feelings.

Check with the daycare teachers right away. I am with the other Mom who said it probably was an oversight. If it was purposeful, a good daycare person proabably would have let you know up front (like, only the boys were invited). Check as soon as you can.

were the invitations handed out at daycare? maybe hers got lost! is she new to the group or is the little boy maybe the mother miscounted or didn't remember your daughter. why don't you ask your daycare person and maybe she can help you understand. how old is the little boy and is it an age specific party? I know these questions aren't giving you an answer but I can't imagine another mother excluding a child on purpose. you will never understand if you don't ask questions...it might just be a mistake.

good luck!

K.,

Ask the day care and ask the Mom if possible - be assertive in letting them know how hurt your daughter is and your intention is to do something about it. Be sure it is not in front of your daughter.

Which is more important - feeling uncomfortable by pushing for your daughter to get invited, or your daughter's heartbreak over being left out?

hugs,

W.

Your poor daughter! I wonder, after reading that ALL the other kids got invited, if her invitation was lost, or if it was an accident. I really can't imagine any mother singling out a 3 year old! I bet this is a mistake. If it is not, then this is not a very nice mother! I would then plan something special for your daughter and give her something to look forward to. I would also spend a little extra time each day until this blows over talking to her about all the things you love about her and all the things that make her special.

Wow that is awful! Unless that mother has an extremely personal tift against your child and/or you I don't see how your daughter could be the ONLY ONE not invited. This must be a misunderstanding. How were the invitations passed out? Is your daughter a new addition to the daycare? Have you met the mother? Perhaps the count was overlooked? Did something happen between the two children? Kids aren't that selective with their guest list until later.

K., why don't you ask her if she overlooked your daughters name in doing the invite's. Could be an honest error, if it's not an error. Then make plans to take your little one to a children's fun place, so that when they all return to school, shed will have her fantastic time to talk about.