My Daughter of 11 Months Started Screaming Crying at Night While I Make Her Slee

Updated on June 22, 2018
S.R. asks from Albany, CA
7 answers

My daughter of 11 years started screaming crying at night while i make her sleep. She wasn’t like that.
I don’t understand what’s wrong.
I can’t take it i get angry what should i do to make her cAlm and to be calm

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

If she's 11 months old, she could be gassy, sick or teething.
They change a lot at this age. Even if she used to be a good sleeper, something has changed, she needs help & she will be a good sleeper again some time soon. Hang in there.
Rest during the day when she naps.
Pick her up gently & quietly. Gently rock her keeping her close to your chest. Sit down in a rocking chair is best.
Getting angry doesn't help anything. Try to get ahold of your emotions. Kids feel that & feed off of it. Just like dogs can tell when you're scared.
If she's gassy, get GasX for infants.
If she's teething, get Highlands teething tablets. They are natural & dissolve in their mouth. Then put Orajel for infants on her gums. Ask your pediatrician for advice & ask if you can give her Infant Tylenol for teething pain.
To get her calm, you need to be calm! Getting mad doesn't do anyone any good. Take a deep breath & try these things. Remember it's a phase & will soon pass.
During the day, get a break with a trusted female relative if you need to get out of the house for an hour.

3 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

S., it's hard to manage when you are tired and worn out at the end of the day. But being a good mommy means learning how to take care of a child.

The title of your post says "daughter of 11 months". Your post says your "daughter of 11 years". I'm going to assume she is a baby, not a pre-teen.

You cannot make your baby calm if you are angry. You say you "can't take it". But you have to take it because you gave birth to a baby, not a tiny adult. You don't get to "make her" go to sleep. It doesn't work that way.

There are lots of reasons why sleep is disrupted for a child. Teething, sickness, an awareness of being really alone, you putting her to bed later than normal because of travel, etc. You CANNOT blame her for this. If you get angry and yell at her, then you are being a bad mother.

Give her some cereal with formula in it before you put her to bed. She needs a full tummy. NO TV - she needs to be calm instead of excited. Quiet bath and you in her room with her dressing her for bed, reading her a book, laying her in her crib and patting her back while she is still awake. If she needs a night light, that helps. Walk out of the room and close the door, letting her fuss or cry while she settles herself. This is called "self-soothing". If she cries for more than 15 minutes, go back in and sit down beside the crib closest to her feet. Don't look at her, don't talk to her. Just sit there and put your hand through the slat and stroke her foot. She will finally lay down because she will be tired of standing up. Don't get up from the chair. Don't pick her up. Don't look at her. Don't talk. Don't do anything but stroke her foot or face if she changes positions. It might take a long time, but she will eventually fall asleep.

If she wakes in the middle of the night, do the same thing. She will eventually stop waking up. This is sleep training and it's HARD. It will only work if you are 100% consistent. You don't have to go in to her straight away when she starts crying. Wait about 15 minutes. It's hard to do that - watch the clock. But you just MUST NOT GET ANGRY WITH HER! It does no good! All it does it hurt her, hurt what you are trying to accomplish, and make you a very bad mommy.

Reading about child development would help you a lot right now. Go to your public library and ask the librarian for help. Tell her how old your baby is. You need to do this for you and for her.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

not sure if we're talking about a tween or a baby here, but regardless, if you were so terrified or in pain that you started screaming and crying in the night, how helpful would it be if someone got angry with you for it?

could be night terrors. or a UTI. an ear infection. a psychological issue.

there's no way for us to know.

but you can't force anyone to sleep and you can't force someone terrified or in pain to 'be calm', especially when you're angry.

i'm worried about this child. a parent should not be reacting this way.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Is she 11 years or 11 months?
Your title says one age but your post says another - I'll assume you meant 11 months.

You get her plenty of exercise during the day so she's tired enough to sleep at night.
Stroller walks, fresh air, tummy time - all help.
Babies cry sometimes - and sometimes it's just what they do to get ready to sleep.
Ear plugs can be your friends.
Start up a bedtime routine.
Bath, brush teeth, pajamas, story time in the rocking chair and then when mostly asleep put baby in crib to finish falling asleep on their own.
It takes some time to learn but they do learn to self soothe eventually.
If she cries, then check on her every 10 min, rub her back, don't pick her up, and repeat until she's sleeping.
Eventually it will go faster but it might be a rough few nights until she gets it.

While it's hard for a baby to keep control of their emotions - it's up to adults to manage their own better than the infant.
It's not easy, but you love your baby - so you have to keep your own anger under control.
The toddler years are going to be an even bigger test of that control - so start practicing anger management control techniques now.

3 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Please add a lot more information to this so we can help you. What does "make her sleep" mean? What's the bedtime routine? Is she teething? What have you tried already, and for how long? And so on.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Usually, if it's something new, it's that they are not feeling well. That's what we found with ours. A tooth would come in, they had a cold coming on, or it was an ear infection. You'd go through a few sleepless nights - feel desperate, etc.

Just take a moment to yourself, and rest when you can during the day to recharge.

If it's a phase, do what you can to settle her and help her to self soothe during the night.

The thing is, just take a moment when you feel yourself getting angry. So long as she's safe - you can walk away and collect yourself.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

You cannot make her sleep. Leave the room before you get angry. I suggest you are upset and get angry because you believe you're a poor mother when she doesn't do what you say. She gets louder and screams longer because of your anger. Babies are aware of how we feel. Your daughter is totally dependent on your care to be safe. ( how do you feel when someone yells at you? Do you feel safe and loved?)

I also suggest she's become more frustrated and angry because you continue to try and control her. You can encourage her to go to sleep by having a quiet bedtime routine. You can also sleep train her by going in when she starts to cry, pat her back, say nothing and leave. Gradually increase the time inbetween returning. When you do this you're letting her know she is safe. She will eventually, as she learns to trust that you will come in to help her, learn how too self soothe.

I suggest that you read and learn about babies, what they can and cannot do and how you can help her.

1 mom found this helpful
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