Everyone screws up the first child with sleeping. My husband was reluctant to use the cry it out method as well, so we did not sleep for 18 months. It was beyond awful -- we were both so sleep deprived, both working, then I got pregnant again -- I would say it was one of the worst time periods of my marriage. I was so desperate, unhappy, we were both alternately taking off out of frustration. (Never left the baby alone.) We were both yelling at each, saying things we never would normally...just awful. Fighting, fighting, fighting.
Once we let him cry in bed a bit, we got sleep. You are not allowing your child to learn how to soothe herself to sleep, so you will constantly be her crutch. My first born, although he sleeps now, still has a lot of sleep issues. You do her no favors in your fear to let her cry a bit before sleeping. My two year old, I still rock him and cuddle, I give him a song and some pats on the back, and he cries when I lay him down. I ignore it, he fusses for five minutes, then he goes to sleep. If I go back into that room because he is crying, I teach him that crying will always get me back in, and he should not then go to sleep, he should just keep crying, because eventually I'll come in. I know it's hard, I was tempted last night to give him more cuddles, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW BETTER, but then I thought, nope, he'll always want it, and we all lose, and I was right, he was sleeping in five minutes.
My cousin's wife was also reluctant, so my cousin made her leave while he did it one or two nights. Perhaps you need to leave the house while someone else does this.
Oh -- and once you let them into your bed at an older age, they are never coming out. Mine I let in if they've had a nightmare or aren't feeling well, but that's it. My aunt and uncle learned the hard way, that once you open that door, it is very hard to close. Six years old, kids still were sleeping in the bed.
You say you want sleep and time with your husband -- not happening if you have kids in there.
She's also only six months old, so be patient. Although most babies start sleeping longer through the night around that time, not all of them do.
Good luck. My prediction -- you will continue to try and get her gently to sleep without crying, it won't work, and as sleep deprivation robs you of your sanity, out of desperation, she will be allowed to cry before she goes to sleep. Been there, done that, my sympathies. There is one guarantee -- you have another one, you will have no trouble letting the child cry a bit before falling asleep.