My Daughter Is Not Herself Sence We Moved

I agree about her age, getting involved and staying busy, playing with what is familiar, talking on the telephone to who she misses, and allowing her time and space to miss what she has lost. Here is another thought: she may be allergic to something in the new house. Possibly the carpeting, new paint smells, or the pet cat the previous owners had, the new brand of bread you are buying because you can't find the same brand that you used to buy, or maybe the tree that is outside the window of her new room... she may be having an emotional reaction to a physical stimulus. Just another area to explore as you are Detective Mom trying to solve yet another kid mystery.

Good Luck!

ok, first off, how dramatic a difference is her behavior,
is it only different during the day or is different at night or both, is she going to a different preschool or babysitter, maybe thats what is causing the change, try asking the child, it cant hurt.but dont EVER allow a child to hit you EVER. the next time the child starts crying and throwing things, stop what you are doing, tell the child NO!! in a very loud clear voice and simply ask them what the problem is, then if you were in the process of taking them somewhere, go back home and take the child back in the house and refuse to take them anywhere for the rest of the day. i cant tell you how many times i have
driven past car wrecks on the side of the road, because
the driver was distracted by a screaming child
K. H.

I'm not at all saying that the move didn't affect her, but that is VERY VERY typical 2 year old behavior- move or no move. I have 4 girlies, and they go through stages CONSTANTLY. I'd just wait it out if I were you. Just be sure and make her as comfortable in her surroundings as possible while not giving in to her "no"s and whatnot. Don't feel guilty about moving, either (not to say you do feel that way...), because that won't help anyone! Treat her the same as you did before. It is tough on EVERYONE when there is a move (I've moved 4 times in the past 5 years and did I mention having 4 girls??? not fun!) Things will get WAY better!

Good Luck!

Moving is one of the most stressful times in a person's life - it's stressful on adults, so I would imagine it's stressful on a 2 year old!! I would just be patient and give her time to adjust....it will take a little while, but sometimes it is helpful to give a child some of her old toys from the old house, arrange her room and things similarly if possible, so it feels like home to her. Pretty soon her little 2 year old mind won't remember what the old house was like and will be happy in the new place. The more positive memories she creates in the new home, the more she will associate it will positive things....just remind her that you love her and maybe even have a housewarming party for her with a little cake. :)

you have received some great advice. i just wanted to add one thing. make sure she is getting enough sleep. the behaviours you describe sound normal for the age and for a big transition but they can be exacerbated with fatigue. good luck!

she doesnt know how to say whats bothering her so maybe you should do it for her. go up to her and say stuff lie i know your upset that we live here in this house now. you miss your old house dont you. me too. but his is our new house and we are going to have so much fun here. she probably misses her old friends and family so mention them and how you are sure she misses them. say you will have to go out and make some more friends and then do so. join a playgroup or something to keep her busy and meet other kids her ge so that she has something fun to do. she will soon forget what she's lost. good luck.

Maybe give the local library a call and see if the librarian can find any kids books about this. The librarians are usually willing research this kind of thing for you, and I know there are kids books out there for all kinds of stressful things children might go through. I once saw one (a simple board book story) about when a friend moves away, so this is similar. Also, maybe you could have her help you "decorate" the house by scribbling with crayon on paper that you then hang on the wall as new artwork for the new house. As the others have mentioned, lots of love, snuggles and deep breaths should help you both. Good luck.

Remember that part of it is simply her age - this is the temper tantrum age. But also cut her some slack because moving house is difficult and challenging at any age and especially when you don't understand why. 2 year olds are learning to do everything themselves so let her do what is safe to do by herself. Stand back a little to allow her to discover what she is capable of. Give her lots of love and count to 10 alot in your head! All the best, Polly B (South Africa, mother of 3 girls)

Hi J.,
I agree that the move is stressful for your daughter. However, like another post said, still enforce your guidelines and rules for such behavior as hitting and screaming. No matter what you don't want her to feel like this behavior will be tolerated.

If you haven't already done so, let her help you decorate her room, so it can be as familiar to her as her old room was. If she is missing family and friends, get her some items so she can draw and color pictures to send to them about the new house.

Explore the new house with her, inside and out. Show her what makes this house so much fun.

Be blessed!

Its probably just adjustment, did you explain to her what was happening. I know she is two but they can understand more than we think, if we explain in a simple way. Also, is there something that she got to do where she was before that she doesn't do now. Go to the park, library. Try showing her that this can be a fun place to live too. If you are having trouble meeting other moms try www.meetup.com to look for moms/kids group. Also, she may just be doing normal two year old things and testing you. Are you home now and you weren't before or vice versa? Try to keep things as familiar and similar to before you moved as possible. Did you have a routine then? Is her room layed out differently than before? She is probably stressing about the changes and is expressing the only way she can. I hope this helps and God Bless.

be very very patient with her. moving is SO stressful for littles and she's probably having a very hard time articulating why she's so upset with this strange new world in which nothing is familiar but YOU. don't be indulgent......the family rules and boundaries will actually be very comforting to her right now, even if she is pushing against them in her unhappiness. if you always have a bedtime routine, stick to it. whatever your usual consequences are for hitting or throwing things, enforce them. but do it with love and understanding. let her make choices for as many things as is safe and reasonable. DO have some special treats such as snuggle time, baking cupcakes with mommy, a favorite video watched together with honey toast and hot chocolate, so long as they don't disrupt her routine. and make new friends and new 'special' places (parks and playgrounds) ASAP.
good luck!
:) khairete
S.