My Daughter and Her "Dada"

Although I am not single I had the same problem with my 13 month old daughter. Then I started working during the daytime. She now lets me cuddle her again, because she notices that I am gone all day at work...and it is great. What's going on is that your daughter misses her dad. She doesn't get to see him all the time anymore, and she has noticed it. Don't worry, it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. Eventually you'll get into a new routine, and she'll probably be in the active stage for quite awhile. Just remember that she's not necessarily "behaving" for him, she simply wants to be closer to him, so she'll sit still if it means that he is holding her. Your baby loves you, she just wants to be a rambunctious toddler right now, especially with mom, because she sees you all the time. :)

My son, for the most part, does the same thing. He is actually very well behaved for his 14 months (simply because they are all little terrors starting around this age because of their newfound mobility and unconscious need to know their limits), but Tristen does push his limits constantly. Keep working at it, you're doing fine. If she throws a tantrum, take her away from whatever the issue is and let her know that tantrums are not acceptable behavior. Use simple words like "tantrums are not OK" because she doesn't have the vocabulary to truly get it. To be a little more extreme, if she is out with you and throws a fit about something, everyone leaves and does not come back. For instance, throwing a fit in line for the easter bunny means we leave the line and do not come back for a visit. Now, she will have forgotten in a day or so or maybe sooner, and you can still go back, but for the day it's done. You did great by taking her away from the situation as soon as she threw a fit and going back later. That showed her that she cannot behave that way.

Take care, I know it's frustrating.
M. M.

In dealing with these issues with my son when he was younger (now 5 yrs old). (Does your daughter have any nightmares or complain frequently of ailments - tummy/head hurts etc? This is also common). The professionals I spoke to gave me some great advice: #1 Try to engage in quiet activity one on one with your child for a short time before and after each visit. - #2 Don't tell her that you will "miss her" or make a big deal about her departure (even if YOU feel like it is a big deal); welcome her home warmly but not overwhelmingly. - #3 The bad behavior is probably NOT your fault! You may want to research some alternative parenting styles to reassure yourself or even try some of them to see if it helps. - #4 ** However MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT I LEARNED, a child who is primarily with one parent will most often act out when they are with that primary parent. Why? Because it is where they feel most secure to do so: ""Mommy takes care of me most so I feel most secure with Mommy. No matter how I act out the anger/ frustration/ hurt/ confusion of going from home to another home and back, Mommy will ALWAYS love me NO MATTER WHAT so I know I can safely act out those emotions with her and she will love me anyway."" Your little one doesn't reason it all out exactly this way, but without the mental maturity and verbal skills to create an outlet for her anxiety it can overflow as 'bad behavior'. Expect to see continued "sideeffects" pretty much indefinitely but take heart that it does seem to get better as they get older. Good luck!!!

Have heart, these behaviors are completely normal, even for children who have both parents living in the home. My daughter just turned 16 months old, and throws temper tantrums for everything and anything - she pushes the boundaries constantly, and it drives me insane, but it is just a part of your daughter learning your and her limits at home, and everywhere else. And expect the tantrums and behaviors to continue for a long time to come - the older they grow, the more aware of themselves they become, and the more they push. The reason why she exhibits these behaviors with you and not her daddy is because she spends most of her time with you: you are the one that has to hand out the discipline, the one that experiences her limit pushing - its usually that way with most mommies. You give your child all of your attention and love, and it seems like all they do is seek to drive you crazy!
But when Daddy comes home, or Daddy comes to pick her up, its like the sun opened up and they are suddenly sweet and well behaved - Daddy is a different face, with different parenting styles, and he probably treats her in a way different from the way you do. He sees her for only a short time (im assuming) and he most likely strives to give her everything she wants, without setting appropriate boundaries. And thats okay. My daughter throws temper tantrums all day, and when daddy walks in the door, she is suddenly transformed from devil child to angel baby in 2 seconds flat. And it IS frustrating, but you are the parent she sees most, and the parent that will shape who she becomes, and her relationship with you is different than that she experiences with her daddy.
Daddy spoils her - and of course, she likes that better than actually having to follow direction. The term "daddy's girl" is completely true, and expect her to seem to adore her father for a very long time. It doesnt mean she doesnt love you just as much, and more than she does her father, she just relates to you both in different ways. She is completely healthy, and normal in her behaviours.

My daughter turned 1 just the other day, a couple days before her birthday she started throwing tantrums, she throws herself to the floor kicks her feet screams as loud as her voice can go and bangs her head on things, We've been letting her throw her fits, we dont pay attention to her, dont pick her up and dont talk to her, it seems to be working, she still throws them of course but not for nearly as long as last week, I continue doing whatever I need to do, but keep an eye on her to make sure she isnt hurting herself. With my nephews, when they throw a fit about something we leave after they've had a warning, I might go back if its something like grocery shopping, but they stay home and deal with the consequences of acting out, its helped out alot with them and made it alot easier to go out and have fun with them since they know that behaviour isnt acceptable. I know it seems like a lost cause when they're this young and that they dont understand it, but they pick up on it, and its alot easier on you in the long run. Im not a single parent but my husband works incredibly long hours so im with her 24/7, My husband only gets to see her anywhere from 1 - 2 1/2 hours a day so she has him wrapped around her little finger, Its important to both be on the same page, what ever rules she has with you, she has with him, Tell him how hard it can be and it'd be alot easier on you, especially with being pregnant, if you were both on the same team. Its true when moms say they're testing their limits, I tell my daughter no a million times a day, you hate to feel like a nagger but thats truely how they begin to learn right from wrong, Eventually they understand the rules (Usually around 3 - 3 1/2 almost 4 years old (i know that seems like an eternity away, but it goes by so damn fast) and dont test it nearly half as much. My daughter recieved a baby little leaps system as a christmas gift, we both sit down with it once a day maybe more if we get the chance to, and play the games together, it really catches her attention, she settles right down and sits in my lap until we're done, She also helps me with all my cleaning up too, she listens really well when she sees im doing something and that she can help, Im not sure if you do that with your daughter, but it could help with the listening skills if you dont? Anyways, I hope I was of some help, good luck!