My five year old son has "unusual" fears. A few of his fears: Riding in a car (refuses to ride in any car other than mom or dad's), McDonalds indoor play area (lately I can't even get him to go into McDonalds), Bounce Houses, Balloons & Kiddie Rides (carousels & the like). He has never had a bad experience with any of these things and he has been afraid of these items for as long as I can remember so it is not new. I try to get him to talk about why he is afraid but his answer is always I just don't like it. My concern is that his list will grow as he gets older & is missing out on the joy of being a kid. Has anyone experienced anything remotely similiar with their kids?
Well, HE doesn't think he's missing out on anything, does he? lol
Seriously, my son was always a more cautious kid. He's 7.5 now and still is.
My daughter is pretty afraid of things like that, i think its natural anxiety. I just try to be supportive and convince her to try new things. We can barely get her in the ocean, and she refuses to ride roller coasters, but we got her to put on bungee straps and bounce on this trampoline ride and we convinced her to go on a ferris wheel. My second daughter is absolutely fearless and i have to STOP her from attempting dangerous things.
Its just a natural part of her personality i think, i would say encourage but dont push.
Does he interact and react normally to most everything else? Maybe the first few times he was around these things, he just perceived something about them as scary. My 4 1/2 year old son has a BIG hangup about riding on the highway. Of course we have to do this frequently, but he hates it and ALWAYS complains about it. He will not elaborate on his dislike, so who knows? Many people have irrational fears -some quite common -for no real reason. I am scared to DEATH of spiders -truly an arachnophobe complete with near panic attacks at times -even though my logical mind tells me I could stomp even the biggest spider. I was never made scared of them, but one day when my mom thought she would do something really cool and show me a garden spider building her web and getting her egg sack deposited -I FREAKED out! The spider was outside of my window and I knew it couldn't get to me, but it just made me lose it. Unless he starts adding to his "fear list" I wouldn't worry too much -just keep reassuring him that those things are okay and that it's okay if he doesn't want to do them -except for the car thing. Maybe you or his dad could drive him in someone else's car so he could see it's okay?
Does he have claustrophobia?
My son was also always afraid of bouncy houses, large kiddie slides, rides, carousels etc. I never really knew why but now at 6 and a half he is for the first time not afraid of these things anymore and will do them. He is extra sensitive about noise, so perhaps that was it? He seems to be outgrowing the noise sensitivity thing. I would not push your son to do these things and wait.
could be a sensory thing.
Some of it I think he'll outgrow, but you may be able to best support and encourage him by explaining what it's like, what to expect, etc. Then he can decide whether or not he wants to, but it'll be based on what he truly doesn't want to (or is afraid of), instead of his fear of the unknown.
My son was & is the same. I just listen to him and repeated exactly what he said so he knew I was 'hearing' him. (For example- 'so what I hear you saying is that you do not want to go into playland, right?' and he'd say 'no I don't want to' and I would say 'that is ok if you do not want to go in there. How do you think you would feel is you did go in there?' as he got older he was able to tell me more about how he was feeling about why he didn't or doesn't want to do something.) I dodn't push it and after a while of doing this and supporting what he was feeling he was able to feel secure in knowing it was ok to be afraid of x and then got over it in his own time. It is important not to belittle your little one for sticking up for how he is feeling. If we teach our children to trust how they are feeling and to feel ok to say no it will help them a lot when they are teens dealing with peer pressure. Listen to what he is saying and try to put yourself in his shoes looking out through his eyes.
Sounds like my son! It breaks my heart because he wants to do these things but can't bring himself to do them. I always say he is just watching the world go by. The problem with my son is the people and the noise but I am not sure that would be an explanation for the car thing or McDonalds. I always try to prepare my son BEFORE entering into a new situation and sometimes it makes him less anxious and more likely to participate. Good luck!!!
Dear H.G. Everything you say he doesn't like seems to involve some kind of movement. Is there some way you could check him for an inner ear problem or a balance issue?
Hi, H.G. -
May sound silly, but any chance there's some motion sickness or the like going on? Have you discussed this with your pediatrician?
Wish I had some answers for you, but I suffer from the opposite problem. My children are daredevils. Afraid of nothing, and we have emergency room trips, broken arms, etc. as a constant result.
I hope for you that it will just resolve itself on its own, but in the meantime just do lots of the stuff he does love!.
Good luck.
