My Child Is Driving Me Crazy!

I went through the same thing last year with my almost 3yo boy- it is so frustrating. Finally a family member told me to devote 3 days to it- put him in underwear and take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes. It was very hard and we did nothing else for 3 days, but it worked!!! If you decide to do it- just stop trying until you have 3 days you know can be totally devoted to it. (and don't expect it to work at all the first day) Good Luck!

My child did it in a day at about 3 1/2 yrs old-all by herself. Stress free for both o fus. Why push the issue? Because other people tell u too? I can't count how many times people drilled me about why she was not potty trained. they will do it when they are ready-not when u are! Lay back! My son is the same way-I introduced it , but never pushed it-last week-he is 3 by the way-he decided to do it-said mommy I am going potty and ever sice he goes. And by the way my daughter had one accident in a year. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT! BE patient it will happen. These other stories u read are these people who sit all day and make their kids go because they want them to. Hope this helps. L.:)

I'm not sure if this is encouraging or terrifying, but my son just turned 4 1/2 and has only really been potty trained for about a month (the pooping took the most time). He still holds it for ridiculous amounts of time and barely makes it to the potty each time, but he has been accident free for a few weeks now, so I think we are there. I pushed the issue before he turned 3 trying to get him ready for preschool and he really wasn't ready, so we gave up for a while, then tried again the summer before he turned 4 and had better luck but I still had to force him to go and he consistently pooped in his pants. It was very frustrating, to say the least!
Staying positive is the best approach, but is nearly impossible when you are cleaning up your 500th pair of dirty underpants! Finally, I set him down and talked about how sorry I was that I would get upset, but I didn't know what else to do, so I was going to put him in charge of potty stuff. He was responsible for going and I was not going to remind him anymore. It was a miracle...he started pooping in the potty and has only had 3 accidents since then. He was old enough to understand and it took away the power struggle we tend to get into.
Anyway, it is impossible not to compare your child to other kids and my friends know I am not the person to talk to about potty training woes because I am a little bitter about the whole experience (haha). Just try not to talk about it in front of your daughter because they pick up on those things.
One last thing...I read about finding your child's "currency", the thing they will do anything to get, and we found transformers worked for my son, but since they were expensive he had to earn 10 "Potty Points" to get one and then we went to 20 when he was doing better. I have a great potty chart I made for this, if you want me to send it to you.
Good Luck!

The only point in comparing your daughter's progress to others her age is to make yourself crazy. Every child develops new skills and capacities according to her own schedule, and that is beyond your control, or your daughter's. If she's still wet in the mornings, her bladder and nervous system probably haven't matured enough for nighttime training. That just happens later for some kids. Likewise, since she isn't showing any interest, daytime training might be best postponed for awhile. It's possible she doesn't get a strong enough signal yet to know her bladder is full, until it's just too full to hold it.

Pushing a growth stage does not make it happen any faster, and results in unnecessary anger and frustration for your little girl and for you. Why put both of you in that uncomfortable and fruitless situation?

Lots of people have children like yours. Some kids train really early, 1 1/2 to 2 years, but they often suffer a serious regression months later. I've known a number of young families who have waited until their children are three or four before their kids finally "got" it that they could do this new thing. When that happened, training was fast and relatively easy.

You are wishing for something that may not be possible yet. You're looking for a system that will make this thing happen. It may not happen for a month, or four months, no matter how hard you push. And your urgency may well make the whole process less attractive and more anxious for your little girl.

Jenninfer.....Relax....breath in, now let it out slowly. I know, I know how hard and annoying and frustrating this is. My lovely child was the same way.....she was potty trained off and on from 2 1/2 to nearly 4. You have to remember that this is a thing she will do at HER pace, not yours (so annoying since you are the Mom and know all about this stuff, right?) Her pace is her pace and you cannot predict it, change it (without lots of heartache, yelling and tears) or punish her (and yourself) for it. For better or worse, she is an indavidual and comparing her to others is not only unfair and scary for you, it is not realistic.

As hard as it is, keep it a pleasant experience, try to offer rewards, my daughter liked panties, so that was her reward (be careful...we now have 2 drawers full of undies! What was I thinking?) I always stayed encouraging (84.9 percent of the time...the other 15.1% was very ugly and got us nowhere but crying on the floor next to the toilet) and tried not to punish.

We used a timer...set for 20 minute intervalls (20 annoying minutes at a time) and when the timer dinged...we went to the potty...every time....Oh the horror! This takes the pressure and blame off of you both...the timer says pee, and the timer must be obeyed. I had everyone involved, Grandparents, babysitters, daddy, etc so that we were consistent. Eventually it moved to 30 minutes (which was slightly less awful for one whole day) and then to 45 (keeping in mind the multiple peeing in the morning, after meals and such) After a few months of this, we had moved on and she had accepted it...pooping took a little longer and involved me throwing away a sacred pair of My Little Pony panties in a moment that is far from my finest. But eventually that came online too.

I know it is disheartening, but it is not a reflection on you, or her smarts, it just is what it is and it WILL happen eventually. Until then, there is meditation and wine. Good luck Mommy...you can do it!

My daughter is 3 1/2 years old (she will be 4 in 4 months!) and is still not completely potty trained... a little after she turned 3 years old she is able to stay dry all morning BUT as soon as lunch hits that is over. Waking up in the morning is hit or miss sometimes wet sometimes dry... same with her afternoon nap (but we will focus on that once she uses the potty during awake time all the time).

My daughter can hold it in (and sometimes for way too long) BUT is having troubles remembering or sometimes knowing the urge to go so we end up with a mess. Just recently VERY recently she tells me while she is going which is a big step for us because she has not been telling us till way after the fact. So hopefully in the next few month with a regular sitting on the potty it will click even more (so far the whole sitting on the potty thing does not do much good).

Guess not much advice, just wanted to let you know that it is fine that your daughter is not potty trained yet. Keep working at it and I truly think that it will click in her soon if you and she keep your cools and maybe also turn potty time into reading a book time. That has helped a tad bit, has not actually gotten her completely potty trained but we are making steps in the right direction :) Every parent is going to chose their own method to potty train... as long as my daughter is healthy and making the steps to become potty trained I will let her do it at her own pace.

my daughter was 31/2 to 4 four when she was pretty much potty trained. We still have a few accidents here and there she is 51/2 now mostly related to growth sperts. What helped us was haveing her help clean the dirty panties. I think before she thought it was magical and they go clean, but when she had see what all went into getting them clean she stopped pretty quickly. I wish you liuck!!!!

I have your problem but with #2 right now (she turned 3 on 3/7). I just had this discussion again w/ my ped and he said DON'T PUSH IT loud and clear. It's a battle that we can't win. Just offer praise and reward for the good behavior but don't dwell on the fact she is not progressing as fast as you think she should or compared to other kids. My daycare is a little pushy on this sub matter so I am frustrated in that dept. She just flat out won't go #2 in the potty but # 1 is fine and tells me when she has to go (my goodness she can hold it longer than i realize sometimes!) As for overnight, she is in a pull up and will be for a while or at least until i feel like she has adequate control. As for now, she has several "prizes" if she poops and tons of stickers and gum for going #1. I am going to relax and let it happen! Good luck!

This is what I did with my oldest son who is now 14. I made the decision that we were potty training. I was done with diapers (had 2 in them). The beginning of the week I did all my shopping and errands for the week. Thursday when we got up we went to the potty, I put big boy underwear on him and just went to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. It took him 3 days and he was mostly trained. I did pull ups at night but after 2 dry nights in a row I got rid of those too. It took about a week to get him fully potty trained. It was tiring and frustrating and he did have accidents during this time but I didn't give up cause I was determined to get at least one out of diapers. This does not work for everyone but it did for me.

I know it is frustrating, but I will tell you they will do it when they are ready. (We are on child 4, about to be three, and nowhere close to undies) Intelligence and potty training have nothing to do with each other. A big part of switching to undies involves the body being physically ready. I have a feeling your daughter still doesn't have that sensation that she needs to go. You can work yourself blue in the face teaching her to go on demand for you, but I know in the long run, she will be better off learning her body's cues. And that just takes time for some kids. I had an early trainer, a middler of the road trainer, and a somewhat late trainer that I still think we pushed too early. (Oh, and our middle of the road trainer is almost six and still wears a pullup to bed because she is soaking wet every morning. The doctor said that we will address it around nine or ten if if that hasn't stopped) You might take your daughter to the doctor just to make sure nothing is physically wrong, but more than likely they will say she just isn't ready. I have recently talked to/heard of mothers of other late trainers...yes, they had to wait but it went so much smoother than a lot of people who push early. It will happen. Just remember, it has nothing to do with her intelligence or you as a mom. It is all about physical maturity. It will happen.

My daughter was the same as yours. Very smart. Very busy. Just didn't get the potty training. None of the usual stuff worked. I've told her the story of how we sat on the potty for 1/2 an hour reading books and discussing going potty before giving up and walking into the livingroom and promptly peeing about a gallon on the floor all over her feet. It was apparently very fun to stomp on. (Sigh.) That was around 3, I think. At 3 1/4, I got the idea of pouring warm water from a cup onto her private while she's sitting on the potty chair. It worked. That made her pee immediately. After about a week or so, she could go when prompted without the water. She made a puddle at Walmart one day so I still had her wear pull-ups when doing errands for a few months and at night until she was around 4 and could make it through the night. The only problem I had once she figured out that she could control her bladder was that for a while, she decided not to go. I took her to the doctor once because she had only gone a few times one day and didn't go at all the next day until 5pm. I thought she might have a bladder infection or something but she was fine. Even now, at age 10, she only goes about 3 times a day unless I prompt her. She goes a bunch when she does. She just doesn't like to be bothered with it. Other things to do, I guess.

Hang in there!

G.