My Baby Not Adjusting in Childcare

Updated on April 11, 2007
S.J. asks from Prior Lake, MN
8 answers

I have been always home for my 2 year old .But now I have to put her in day care because of my job.Its been a month now she is still not adjusted there and she will cry every time I drop her off.Recently she started throwing fits right from getting up in the morning as she knew I will be taking her to day care now. It takes me 1 hr from getting her out of bed to the car with her all sreaming and whiniing.And as a mother it break my heart seeing my baby like this every day .Please Help ,any suggetion to make our lives easier.

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S.B.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

First off, I am a day care provider! I usually tell parents that it takes one to two months for children to adjust. Does she go every day, because that could be the problem. It is easier if they go every day and it could take longer if it is only a couple of days. Just a few thoughts!

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M.S.

answers from St. Cloud on

How do you feel about the daycare she is going to? Did you check on references?
Maybe its the daycare, after a month, I would start to be concerened.
Can your daughter talk well enough to tell you how she feels about daycare or why she isn't wanting to go?
If you have a gut instinct follow it, show up unannounced to pick her up early one day.

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A.

answers from Madison on

Hi there-
I experienced something similar with my 2 year old son. I was confused because I am a former daycare provider, and tried to make his transition as easy as possible, and he was still crying all day. Then I thought about HOW he was crying. He wasn't sad, he was mad. It turns out, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the daycare provider was not a good match for him. The children he was with were older, and the daycare provider had different expectations for how children play, and didn't spend much one on one time with him. Developmentally he wasn't able to play with the older kids. He was lonely. So I pulled him and placed him in another home, but with children his age that he can be with, and a very conscientious provider. Now he looks forward to going to play with his friends, and I have to trick him to get him out of there at the end of the day!! So my advice is to think about how your daughter is crying, and what she is trying to tell you. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter took over a month before she stopped crying and she was only 12 months when we started. A two-year old might take even longer. Hang in there and give her lots of love at home.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Something to try:

Mommy-Kiddo time in the morning. (Like you wanted to add something else to your schedule, right?)

Read a special book at breakfast, or sing a special good morning song. Change it up, every so often- she'll like something to look forward to.

The more you make the time about you and her before she goes, and less about hurrying to daycare, it might work better.

Since it's been a month, and she's still acting the same- I would pop in on daycare during lunch, or take a half day. Go peek in on her and see if she's content and getting the care she needs and deserves.

That'll put your mind at ease.

Good Luck!

K.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

i've never been in that situation but just an idea... maybe a blanket that she can take to day care just for daycare with your perfume on it. or maybe a picture book of you and everyone else in the family so she has everyone close by. good luck!!!

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M.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would get her excited about going to daycare...however, maybe calling it school or somet other special name for it. Give her a picture book with pictures of you and her in it so if she gets sad she could look at the pics. Make sure she has something that comforts her with her, familiar things will help.
This is another thought, is there someone else that could drop her off at daycare in your place? I have known mothers who have the dad or other family member drop the kids off at daycare and find that its easier.

Don't drag on in the car about going to daycare, get her up in the morning and tell her that she needs to get ready for the day, you go to school and mommy goes to work, you will have a lot of fun with the other kids, playing, laughing, learning, arts/crafts, etc. I would stay away from doing a surprise drop in with your daughter already there, if she sees you it will make it worse, wait until you know she is extremely comfortable being at daycare. YOu could call and check in on her throughout the day. Good luck, I know its hard, my 15 month old cries when I drop him off, but before I even get out hte door is fine.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

It takes time.. Just be patient! Alot of it could probaly be the age too. Two year olds are learning how to control situations, and test you.

When my daughter doesn't follow directions in the morning or is being a pain she get's scolded or yelled at. To bad so sad I gotta get to work and don't have time to play games. She knows if she wakes up and just does everything we are both happy if she refuses to get out of bed or is being a slow poke on purpose things get ugly.

I just make sure my daughter is getting enough sleep and is well rested, we have clothes picked out the night before, lunches made etc. just to make our mornings easier.

As long as the crying stops within 5 min. of you dropping her off it's completely normal. If she's having crying spells all day on and off or the crying lasts more than 15min. in the morning than maybe look the situation and the daycare center. I use to work at a inhome daycare and it's completely normal for them to put on the "act" and cry for a few minutes and usually 2sec. after mom or dad is out of sight they are perfectly fine.

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