My daughter is ignorning me she is 9 months now.
In the begening i thaught she was sensitive because i used to go work abd used to live her with her grand mother. But now that i left work still she is ignorning me when she is around my husband family
S.
Welcome to mamapedia.
Your child in still an INFANT - she's NOT ignoring you. PLEASE.
GO see your doctor. Tell him/her what you are experiencing and get checked for Postpartum Depression.
Please. You're over reacting. Please. STOP.
she's a tiny baby. she is not manipulating you emotionally. she's not getting you back because you work.
be glad that she's comfortable with her caregiver. be really glad that you have family to take care of her while you work.
she's not 'ignoring' you, she feels so safe with you that she doesn't need to engage you all the time.
do not be insecure about tiny babies.
it is not her job to make you feel loved.
if you feel ignored or unloved, please speak to a doctor or a counselor. don't put it on your tiny baby.
khairete
S.
Someone once told me that babies think of their moms as extensions of themselves for a long time - it doesn't occur to babies that their mom is separate from them. So babies don't give attention to mom because of course mom is there.
Think of it like one of your body parts. Do you often look at your foot and think wow it's great to have a foot! Do you get happy and excited when you see your foot for the first time every morning because you are so glad that you have a foot? If you think about it, of course you are grateful that you have feet, that you can walk, and you can't imagine your life without it. But you don't celebrate your foot every time you see it.
Your baby is the same. She loves you and she can't imagine life without you, but to her you are part of her, so she takes you for granted. This is how all babies are.
It doesn't change much when they get older, so please get used to it.
Hi S.,
Welcome to Mamapedia.
Children go through phases of preferring one person to another, but nothing lasts forever and it's not a sign that a parent has done anything wrong. It's really important to understand that a child of 9 months doesn't have the moods and attitudes of, say, a teenager or an adult.
If she was used to her grandmother, that's a strong bond. And it's an important one. But it's not the only one. The strongest bond is almost always going to be with the parent of the same gender, so over time, I think you'll find that to be true. Try to embrace her love for and her trust in others. In the meantime, take heart! Have some confidence! And above all, don't expect a baby or a toddler or even a school-aged child to have the emotional development to take care of a parent and be able to empathize with an adult's needs for validation.
There was a very similar question just the other day, although the child was a little older. But I think the answers that woman received will be very relevant to you. I'm not going to repeat everything I said there, but you can read it for yourself. Here's the link:
https://www.mamapedia.com/questions/219626154158784513
I hope you didn't leave work because you were worried about your relationship with your daughter. I hope you did it for other reasons.
Your child will respond to your calmness and your confidence in your mothering. Give her time if there's been a big change. Besides, she may be venturing off to others for the very reason that she IS so confident in your love for her!
Our son pretty much wanted to only sit on my lap till he was 3 1/2.
I thought he'd never leave my lap.
He was ok with Dad if I wasn't available but as soon as he spotted me he'd practically lunge out of Dad's arms.
I didn't mind him there - but eventually he became more confident about running around and playing with his friends.
If you think your child is having some delays then talk with your doctor about it.
Have her hearing checked, discuss any concerns you have about autism.
Your doctor is your best source of information.
That sounds like the age where this type of behavior occurs. I remember my niece at that age. She preferred my sister and my mom, but she would allow her dad to hold her and comfort her. Most other adults were strangers. (Which was had for me, because I lived 6 hours away and didn't see her often). It was hard on my BIL that my niece appeared to be more comfortable with my mom than with her dad, but he hung in there and just kept loving her. She grew out of it, and since then they've always had a fabulous relationship.
This is normal. Just keep loving her. She's just going through a phase.
She is engaging with people - I think that shows healthy behavior. They are probably lively and entertaining and 'new' to her because she doesn't see them as often. Think of when you introduce a new toy to her at this stage. It will spark her interest.
She is forming attachments with people she recognizes too - which is good. My kids would reach for relatives at this age. I think that's a good thing. You want your baby to feel close to other people. It's worse when they don't - right?
I had one who was very hesitant about going to people and she would turn away from men altogether (phase, finally outgrew).
The whole 'ignoring me' thing is a bit off. That sounds like you are a tad insecure. Babies don't ignore their mommies. That's a YOU emotion. Let that go mommy. You may be a bit hormonal, or maybe you feel a bit threatened by husband's family for other reasons (not accepted, etc.). That's not about baby so don't confuse the two. You have strong attachment with baby. That connection is there and absolutely strong.
