D.B.
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I'm looking for anyone who has an infant like mine, who can offer up some advice to help her sleep better and longer. She is a sweet and happy baby most of the time, but when she gets tired she cries. We always try to catch her sleepy cues and get her ready for her naps then. We have a bedtime routine which consists of a bath, some soft music and a little singing, sometimes a book if she isn't already cranky, nursing, then swaddle and sleep. We've tried putting her down drowsy but awake and left her to cry from 5- even 20 minutes once. Her crying just escalates. Even as we rock her to sleep she cries. Just as she's falling asleep she wakes up a bit and cries more. We put her down totally asleep. She doesn't even go to sleep easily in her stroller/ car seat. There too she cries. Most of the time she ends up falling asleep in her stroller/car seat but there have been times when she has cried in the car for an hour. We are considering doing some form of "crying it out" but being that she is a cryer already, I'm afraid her crying will go on and on and it won't even teach her anything. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for your responses. Unfortunately she doesn't take a pacifier. We've tried and tried. She also doesn't take a bottle, although we continue to try (She's EBF). I think she is just the kind of baby that cries when she's tired. I have the Weisbluth book and I keep her awake no longer than 2 hours and in fact, usually she goes down for a nap no more than 1 1/2 hours from the time she has awaken. Also in the past week her naps have gotten increasingly shorter. Today her naps were about 20 minutes each.
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She is fighting sleep. Letting her cry it out is exactly what you need to do. She will learn to sooth herself to sleep and it wont cause any emotional distress or create some kind of separation anxiety later in life ( that's what my FIL always told us )
Our ped told us to let them cry for up to an hour. First day check on them every 10mins with out talking to them or picking them up. Just rub thier back, give back the paci and cover them up if need be. Each day increase it by 5-10 mins until you have an hour. After 30 mins I must admit I was a crying mess along with the baby, but I stuck with it and it worked. It only took about two days of that and then they were fine and sleeping usually with in 15mins. It took about a week total to do this. But trust me once they learn to stop fighting the sleep and sooth themselves to sleep its worth a week of hell!
Have you tried a pacifier just for when shes overtired like this? Our 4 month old just uses it when shes real cranky. It helps her settle down. Luckily she doesnt really care for the binky except for times like these. It helps a lot.
Its ok to let her cry a little bit. I know they say not to do this before 6 months, but I know my baby, when shes not hungry, wet/dirty, or sick I KNOW shes just over tired and needs to work it out. I would let her cry for 5 minutes, 10 at the most.
My daycare baby is like that too. Will cry if you sit in the chair and rock him. However, if I hold him upright and walk around he falls asleep on my shoulder. At which point I can switch him to a cradle position and soon after lay him in bed.
I agree with some others that it's too young to try a cry it out method. Right now the best thing you can do is spoil your baby. Also she'll sleep better on a full tummy.
Four months is too young for CIO. The minimum age recommended is six months. Crying is a normal sign of tiredness, so don't be too concerned. Have you tried giving her a pacifier? The sucking can be very soothing for them.
Read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. We used this with my son and it was marvelous - broke down what you should do based on the child's age, biological needs, etc. Anyway, consider the fact that she may be OVERTIRED now from inadequate sleep and laying her down perhaps before you have seen her sleepy cues. My son at that age was on a pretty strict schedule of going down for a nap only 1.5 hours after waking in the morning. He wouldn't always show us sleepy cues, but sometimes by the time they act "tired" - you may be too late and miss your window. Sounds like she needs to catch up on some sleep (I thought this when you said just as she's falling asleep she will wake again and cry - this sounds like overtired.) Get the book - it is excellent for these kinds of problems and getting her back on track. Make sure you give her every opportunity to sleep more (earlier bedtime, extra naps, going down before she acts tired). I know with my son, by the time he acts tired, he can be very challenging to get down to sleep.
ALSO - if it continues to be a problem - you may consider a change in formula or watching what you eat if you are breastfeeding. My son had napping problems until we figured out he had reflux pretty bad and was put on medication for it.
Do not let her cry it out . . . ever! Your baby needs you and trusts you to care for him when he needs you (ie. cries). Try to catch the tiredness sooner. Good luck.
Some babies don't like over stimulation and singing, music, rocking may actually be more than she wants at bedtime or when tired. Just put her down after all is done that she needs and she is ready to sleep and shut the door and let her cry. She will stop and she will adjust to it quickly. She probably will do much better without so much stimulation. I wouldn't even get the music started at bedtime unless you want to do it for years. Just quiet is best for her to adjust to. And in a few months sleep comes easier if you get her adjusted now.
I feel for ya. My two grandsons for some reason were like that as well. They got so cranky when tired and would cry forever until they passed out, even with mom and dad laying by them and consoling them.
I think some kids just get really confused at the "feeling" of fatigue and they cry because they don't know any other way to express it.
I hope this doesnt last as long for you as it did for my stepson's family, it went on till the boys were 2 and 4, a nightly crying ritual.
A three month old is too young to cry it out or be left crying for 20 minutes. If she's crying as you rock her, she may be overtired, or she may simply not enjoy rocking and may need something else like walking or rubbing. Her crying as you rock her til she settles is different than leaving her screaming in the crib for 20 minutes. I dont' approve of the CIO/Ferber methods, but even Dr Ferber says that his method is not for under 5-6 monhts old.
