My Almost 3 Year Old Not Eating

Kids go thru these stages...Do not give in to only what he wants, but try to give him these when appropriate. He WILL eat when hungry enough; just try to have healthy choices available.

He will not starve. You want him to understand that you have prepared food for him, and that your home is not a restuarant. While it is not terrible to eat breakfast for dinner, if you want him to eat what the family is eating, stay firm. As I grew up we had a "one-bite" rule - we had to have at least one bite of everything that was put in front of us. After that, it was up to us. We might eat the rest, or we would spend the rest of the eveing hungry. Of course, eatting breakfast foods could be a treat every once in a while.

Just my thoughts, hope things go well.

My advise is the total opposite of the first response. When my 17 year old was 3, the only thing I could get her to eat for months was cole slaw and an occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is not spoiling them or letting them be in control. It is a phase. He will get tired of eating just those foods and will grow out of this phase. My Grandmother had this rule. She would prepare what you asked for, but, if you did not eat it all, it was put in the refrigerator and that's what you ate the next time you were hungry. I know that it is a little extra effort on your part, but when he sees that he is "missing out" on some other great foods, he will change his mind. You won't have to do this forever, maybe a few weeks. Good luck!
~L.

Oh I think you just need to be happy he is eating, and wanting something healthy. Pick and choose your battles, not everything we need to teach our children is about control. Personally, I make an attempt for my children to not have food issues. The way I do this is only having healthy foods at home, and letting them choose between a couple of things. You should teach them that they will be making their own decisions about food in life (you won't be there all the time). I mean really, we put labels on food calling them "breakfast" or "dinner". Ideally we have them switched anyway, we all should be eating oatmeal for dinner.
There are so many times in a day when a parent practices with their child "who's the boss". I think it shows respect in a parent/child relationship when we listen to our children and let them make some decisions on their own.

I understand that this is a great problem for so many of us. However, it can be prevented and corrected if much time and care are taken. In an attempt to make our kids happy and our crazy lives a bit easier we tend to "cater" meaning we give them what we know they will eat. It is proven that many children need to "try" or be introduced to a food 10-15 times before they actually know if they like it or not. Much harder than it seems! That being said, it sounds as though your son does like to eat a variety of foods but is just showing a bit of independence and preference. Maybe instead of being so drastic and not allowing him to eat breakfast for dinner (which I personally love!) or giving in to him totally and having breakfast every night for 2 months, you could give him a breakfast for dinner reward after he eats regular dinner for 2 nights. Make sure that you all eat breakfast for dinner so that he sees the consistency in meal time and then include him in the meal planning process. If he has a choice between chicken and hamburgers one night maybe he could choose between oatmeal and french toast another? Just a suggestion, I like to practice parenting in moderation. :)
Good Luck! Food is becoming a very big issue in our country and you are right to be concerned.

Hello, my son at that age (now 6) was the same way. He only wanted to eat a select few items (nuggets, carrots, cookies, etc.). So for the meantime I let him. Then what I would do is make another plate of some dinner foods the family was having and leave it on the table for him. We would tell him how "good dinner tastes" and ask him can we eat his food too. Kind of silly but it worked and at least got him to start tasting other foods. You can also try giving him dinner in a fun looking plate so it's more appetizing. Make sure his plate doesn't have very much food on it. Some kids are turned off by a large portion size. I wouldn't agonize over the food, since there are so many other battles to win. Some toddlers loving snacking and perfer to graze all day rather than eating meals at set times and my doctor said that is okay at this age. Good Luck!

I don't have direct advice, but just a thought for you to notice. Is what he is craving carbs only? Maybe it is not that he is picking only what he likes, but that his body is not in balence and craving a particular food? Maybe that will help you narrow your field....
J.

L.,
Hi! I think what your son is going through is just a phase. I'm not a Dr or anything but if I were you just so he won't go without eating I'd just let him eat like this as long as it's not candy or chips or something like that. I have two that's going through that stage of wanting to eat just meat and no veggies. Even my 5 year old a month or so ago only wanted to eat grits for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If he couldn't get grits then he didn't want anything. My one year old on the other hand eats and eats until he's full. But just so he doesn't go without eating I would just let him eat oatmeal at least that's on the healthy side. I

Put your foot back down and prepare dinner as you would have it. Tell him we are ending the breakfast for dinner game and eating dinner as you have it. If he refuses to eat, so be it. He will eat when he gets hungry and sees that you are not playing with him. It is hard to see our children go hungry, but he will not starve. He should eat when he sees you are not in his game/manipulation/power struggle - that you are in charge. Good luck. J. Gordon

Hi L.,
I am a doctor and a mom and my advice is like some others. I beleve this is just a phase and I'd bet it will be over with soon enough. With that being said, let him have it. Try to make the healthiest breakfast possible... Try eggs for protein and fresh fruit. TRY to stay away from the processed foods and actually cook the food. You should look into adding a whole food vitamin to his diet. This will help balance out the nutrition he's lacking. Best of luck!

This "phase" is called him seeing where he can control you. With my 3 year old she eats what we make we don't force her to eat it, if she doesn't there are no snacks or anything later, she waits until breakfast to eat. Sometimes I will offer her the dinner again if she comes to me just a little while later. he won't starve himself. He is testing you to see where he can get control stay firm now say no, Im preparing spaghetti for dinner (or whatever your making) maybe we will have oatmeal when you wake up in the morning ( if thats waht you plan to give him). if you give in now yes he might out grow this phase but he will know he's gonna win the next phase to be it not listening to you or whatever. Good luck these 3 year olds are tough!

My son is 3.5 and does the same thing. When I make dinner I make sure I make something he will eat. Example : My son wont eat anything with sauce on it, So if I make spaghetti he gets noodles with cheese instead of sauce. My son will only eat a hand full of things so I make sure I make at least one of those, now he may only eat that one thing or he may eat nothing but I put it on his plate , if he eats he eats. Don't stress about it , the more you do, the more it gets turned into a battle you will not win. And you dont want a battle over food cause kids will always win it, and its not worth the stress it causes everyone.

My son went through the same thing and I fixed oatmeal for dinner almost every night for him. The pediatrician assured me it was ok. Foods like oatmeal and peanut butter are healthy for kids, so by all means let him it. This is just a phase and you guys will be right back on track soon. E. L. H.

I do not think a 2 1/2 - 3 year old or even a 10 year old child should be telling you what they will eat. Are you running a restaurant??? We would let our chidren order what they wanted at a restaurant but at home they ate what I prepared. His eating can become (maybe it already has) a control issue where he wants to control you. He will not starve himself to death. I would not insist that he eat everything but put some each on his plate and ignore him through the meal not saying anything about what he is or isn't eating. You and hubby just enjoy your meal and if the baby is at the table do what you have to do. It may take a few days but this will stop. He will find something else for a control issue so be prepared. (Bedtime, bathtime, playtime, clothes, etc) V.

Does he have some favorite dinner foods or deserts? I feel you are very right to let him know he must eat what you fix for dinner. He can have his favorite breakfast food in the morning. I would also give an incentive for eating all of his dinner, like a favorite desert. I would also have him sit at the table until he finishes. He cant go back outside, or cant go play until his dinner is eaten. Just keep ensuring him that you love him and he needs the food for energy to play so that is why you are making him stay until he finishes his meal. He will soon get the idea and then it wont be a problem. Always do what you feel is best for him, not just what he wants...you are being a very loving and caring mom! :)