My 9 Year Old Daughter's Face Is "Changing" Do I Bring It up or Wait for Her To?

When my daughter’s skin broke out I took her to a dermatologist. They will best know how to treat this problem.

Regarding the hair...you could start a conversation about how you felt at her age and what you did. You could leave it up to her to tell you she wants to do something about it. I did however tell both of my girls when it was time for them to start wearing deodorant. You could just make an appointment and tell her she’s old enough to get her brows done.

Just because your mom wasn't affectionate doesn't mean you can't be. HOW WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED YOUR MOM TO HANDLE THIS?

I would tell her we're doing a girl day and take her to a nail salon and get a manicure and pedicure and then suggest that she get waxed so that she can have "shape" to her brows. Don't say "unibrow". Don't make it a bad thing. Make sure YOU get it done too. So she sees you are not picking out something on her

Welcome to mamapedia, M. A.

it's puberty. Help her through it. Get her tweezed, threaded or waxed.

Just tell her that her body is changing and she needs to attend to it. Waxing, threading, tweezing are ways to combat it.

You can also take her to the pediatrician and get her hormones checked to see if she has too much testosterone in her system.

I like Denis P's advice. Just put yourself in your daughter's shoes, and imagine how you wish your mom would have done things.
I think a spa day is a fun idea. Your daughter may ask you for help or advice on her own (which would be ideal) but some girls are shy about these things, even if they have a kind and affectionate mother.
But for sure DON'T point anything out. If she's oblivious now then good for her, she'll be worried about these things soon enough :-(

I agree that "The Care and Keeping of You" is a great place to start (I don't have a daughter, but my friends who do have all gotten this book and say it's great, and I've often wished for a boy-equivalent). I don't know that I'd address the eyebrows and such just yet (and the facial hair is something to mention to your pediatrician if you think it's more than normal), but for sure you can immediately buy her a gentle cleanser like Cetaphil (Rite Aid has a generic equivalent at a much lower price) and talk to her about washing her face with it every night before bed to help with the acne.

Good for you for thinking about the best way to help your daughter grow up with love and guidance!

I wouldn't draw attention unless daughter brings it up first.
"The care and keeping of you" is a great book and place to start the conversation.

By the way, thanks to those of you who recommended that book .. another tidbit I picked up on here :)

ETA:
Just thinking .... I wouldn't let her see you fuss about your own hair, as in a bad way. I've made sure not to do that with my own browns in front of my kids. My kids all inherited my bushy brows. They're not quite a unibrow but they are definitely thick.

I asked a question not long ago on how should I best deal with them as I've been plucking them for decades. I finally bit the bullet and went in to have them looked at and be advised on the next step. The esthetician (best one in city according to reviews) told me I had great brows and told me to simply trim them. So that is what I've been doing. I am embracing the thick brows. I could have saved myself years of agony.

I think sometimes we send messages to our kids that such and such is not good - when really we just have our own issues with our bodies. I get that a unibrow is not the best - however, I think times have changed somewhat. One of my kids still gets rid of his, but the others have just accepted theirs. One kid had a kid poke fun, but I checked out that kid's brows when I last saw her, and she's sporting a big one herself - so some of that is insecurity.

As for deodorant, and zits, etc. Yes, I definitely just produced deodorant and special soaps, etc. when I saw fit. That - I would just introduce (around same time I gave them books) and we talked about 'hygiene'. But things like their facial features, and brows etc. I wouldn't even let her see that you have a concern over your own. I saw my mother yank out her brows, and my older sisters which is why I picked up my pair of tweezers at 10 - is what I'm saying.

I find it is normal, I have seen other girls my daughter's age or younger with what appears to be a mustache, it's especially prevalent in Hispanic women who naturally have darker, thicker hair. While I might allow her to shave her legs if she brings it up, I actually never was aware or conscious of a mustache (or teased about it) when I was growing up. I only noticed it because I went to a hair salon and someone asked if I wanted to have my upper lip waxed, and I was about 18 by then.

I wouldn't call attention to it and make her conscious about it unless she brings it up. I would tell her to shave her armpits perhaps, though, if necessary. My daughter was teased for that because the peach fuzz in her arm pits became strands, but the teasing she received was by an aunt that told her she looked like a French girl and should shave. Other kids her age did not notice, or care.

Be careful with waxing or anything like that, at her age, skin is still very sensitive and any chemical can cause severe irritation or rip off the skin (especially waxing), I would hold off. I had these issues, despite not having baby skin anymore, which is why I do not wax or pluck. I actually like my naturally thick eyebrows and am glad that women are now embracing their natural brows. The best thing to do would be to consult with a dermatologist about the breakouts. He/she can prescribe medication or facial soaps that your daughter can use for her breakouts and daily use.

Absolutely take her to a dermatologist. It's no different than if she had a rash. It's a medical thing. Treat it as such. I promise you that she will appreciate it greatly.

Find out if your dermatologist has an esthetician who does microderm abrasion. It was absolutely the best thing I did for my sons' faces (and backs as they got older) for blackheads, whiteheads, and too much oil in their skin. I took them once a month. The dermatologist might tell you she's too young - you will need to ask. But what I can tell you is that there is a sticky substance on the skin that holds in all that oil and impurities, and the microderm abrasion removes all that sticky substance and dead skin, allowing the medicine that the doctor prescribes for her face to do its work. And the esthetician can remove the blackheads and whiteheads safely so that there is no scarring. This is much better than a facial. A facial won't really help with the breakouts.

Now about the rest. Time to do "spa day" with mommy and daughter. Take her to a spa, get a mani/pedi and have your eyebrows waxed. If you have any mustache at all, both of you do your mustaches together.

If she's not shaving her legs yet, let HER ask to shave her legs. When she asks, help her.

It's part of growing up - the FUN part of growing up. When she starts her period, that's NOT fun.

With the breakouts just let her know what to use when washing her face and show her how to use it. Maybe take her for a spa day and just ask if she want to get this waxed like momma is. That way you are doing it together that way she will probably think it is something special to do with you.

i would also have her hormones checked just to be on the safe side. get ab book about her changing body. and love her thru this!