Mom Wants to Wax Daughters Unibrow but Father Is Strict

I would not even include dad in the decision....chalk it up to 'Girl Stuff' and take care of it MOM!!!!

I would ask my daughter if she wanted to wax her unibrow or otherwise remove the hair (maybe those little facial clipper thingies). If she said yes, I would have it done. I wouldn't even consult dad. A 12 year old's personal facial hair isn't really his concern.

If he starts yelling start talking about periods and he will stick his fingers in his ears and walk away.

Problem solved.

Waxing brows in our neighborhood is $8.00 at the Super cuts.. No need to tweeze all of those hairs.

The tweezing will come once she can manage them as they grow back. The fist time should be nice and trimmed also.. Women who do not have a thick dark brows, may not understand about those of us with thick dark hair on their faces. We NEED waxing.. to really get those hairs out in a few minutes instead of 20 minutes of plucking.

I am sorry, but I would not wait until her birthday. Take her tomorrow and just get it done. This is a matter of self esteem.

Has she started her period? Does dad say she is not allowed to use certain female products or which ones to purchase? Of course not, because he does not know what is best for her, you do..

Dad should understand that mom knows best about this.

Just do it and I would not even mention it to dad.

Just do it, and don't wait until May. If your husband flips out, tell him that this part of basic mandatory grooming for females, along the lines of skin care, tampons and menstrual pads. Not his business - that ought to shut him up.

He probably won't even notice it.

Why does he have the final say and why would it matter to him anyway? It's HER face and YOU want to offer this as an option. I'm sure many will tell you that you two should equally weigh in on it, but if I were you, I would make the appointment, take her and have it waxed. If he doesn't like it, have him give you some sort of real, concrete reason why this shouldn't be done. There aren't any. If he's like most men, he probably won't even notice!

I think Mom knows best on this one. :) I had really bushy eyebrows when I was a pre-teen, and I was self-conscious about them. My mom took me out for lunch one day, then she surprised me and we went to a salon and had our eyebrows done together! It was a great bonding experience, since neither of us had done it before, but my mom did it with me because she didn't want to single me out. Since then, we've both kept our eyebrows up, and we look back on that day fondly. :)

Yup. What Laurie said. Take her this weekend to get it done. No need to tell the dad. Chances are, he won't even notice.

I would do it anyways and tell my hubs to eat dirt! Ask him that at what age does he find it appropriate for her to start taking care of her feminine needs? I had a friend who was a large DD at 14, but her father wouldn't allow her to wear a bra until she turned 16. Pretty ridiculous. Not only is that painful, but it makes the girl very self-conscious and depressed. You aren't teaching her to starve herself to fit in or to wear gobs of make-up and revealing clothes, you are doing a simple beauty treatment that will brighten her face and make her feel comfortable. This is general grooming, like shaving her legs, tampons, bras, deodorant...

Also, I would take her this weekend, May is way too long to wait. The stylist can show her how to maintain her shape, then she can continue to wax, or she can learn to tweeze the arches and use a micro finishing touch trimmer on the unibrow part.

So, he'd rather she be embarrassed & ridiculed? Give me a break.

You take her to get it done & he gets to deal with it.

What's more important here? Your daughter's self esteem or your DH saying she can't get it done because he wants to be a jerk?

I am sorry, OP. It sounds like you have way more on your hands than just a pre-teen with a unibrow, unfortunately.

former unibrow here. i wasn't allowed to do anything until i was 19. can i just say i was teased to death and back and while i have a very thick skin it did bother me. so being of mediterranean descent my kids (at least one of them) will have the same problem and the first time she asks me to do something about it i will. so show your husband my response and tell him for the sake of his daughter lay off old wive's takes (of hair growing thicker etc) and let her do what she needs to do with herself.

I would not even discuss this with her dad. Her eyebrows are not his domain! This is a GIRL thing, like shaving underarms and legs and using tampons. This shouldn't even be something he is consulted on.

I wouldn't wait until May. Take her in and have it done. If he starts yelling, tell him to go to anger management classes and then you go sleep in the guest room. Repeat the guest room until he gets it straight in his head that he does NOT control what his daughter does with her body hair!

I don't care how strict your husband is. You should not let him treat you like this. Don't take it laying down. Stand up to him and punish him for his bad behavior. God never told us that we had to put up with yelling from our husbands, M..

Btw, I just want to tell you that I have taken my younger son to have his unibrow waxed. It isn't just for girls!

Dawn

How does excess facial hair have anything to do with breast implants or sexuality for that matter? What if she had a mustache? Will she be allowed to shave her armpits or legs? Geez, what daddy doesn't want his little girl to feel good about herself?
Poor girl, and poor you, good luck :(

I think it should be your daughter's choice. Has she been concerned about it?

Okay, I gotta understand this: Just why does it need to be waxed? What's wrong with old-fashioned tweezers? You could tweeze that sucker in two minutes.

If she requests it, help her tweeze in between her brows, and don't say anything to dad about it. If he's like most guys, he won't even notice. Dad isn't going to be involved in most of her female grooming. Is he going to be talking to her about her tampax? Stuff like eyebrow-plucking is between daughter and mom.

But really, I don't think she needs to be taught that she can't tweeze her own brows. Does anybody have money for such luxuries these days? How much does it cost to wax in between your eyebrows vs. 2 minutes with a tweezer?

The girl is 12, you are her Mom. If you think it's OK then that should be enough for your husband. This is NOT anything like breast implants, there is nothing sexual about it. I'm sure he wouldn't think twice if you took her to buy a new dress for a party or did her hair in a different style. Same thing, it's simply enjoying being a girl and feeling pretty. If he doesn't understand that then he's going to lose his daughter in a few years. Strict is fine archaic is not.

Take your daughter to have it done at a salon-doesn't he realize how damaging it is to be bullied? Eyebrow tweezing is part of grooming-it's like...shampooing or brushing your teeth. If you have hair growing in the centre of your forehead-get rid of it!

I agree with everyone below. Take her out and get your eyebrows done together! Then do lunch and a little shopping. Make it a girls day! Would dad even notice?

I'm sorry, but in this day and age, do what you have to in order to help your kid avoid the bullies. It's just not worth it.

Why would a dad even care? Is he allowing her to shave her legs and use tampons? Can she cut her hair? I can't even imagine a dad caring about that stuff. They usually don't want to know.

Take her over break. My daughter has had her brows done for a little more than a year now (she's 14) and it bothers her when they get bushy. Girls that age can be really mean, so don't give them more ammunition.

It would be a great thing for you two to do together. A girls thing. Have fun with it. If dad notices, explain that's what girls do when they're her age. It's too late to put it back!

Go ahead and do it, even if you do it yourself. If your husband notices (and he may not), just tell him that this is "girl stuff" - that might get the message across to him that this is no man's land. I always say that to my husband when he gets into my territory...

If this will make her happy, do it! I started plucking my eyebrows at age 13 by myself and neither of my parents knew or noticed. My sister taught me how to do it.

I'm all for being hairy if you want to, but if your daughter is feeling socially 'other' because of her facial hair, honor that. Middle school is hard enough without being picked on for being different. This isn't about her being vain, its about her wanting to fit in with her peers.

Your daughter is showing great fortitude, by the way, but she shouldn't have to. And I agree with 'do it tomorrow'... this is going to be daily grooming for her. Making it a preplanned birthday present only means that he might be upset on her birthday...not good, and not how you want her to remember her thirteenth birthday.

I knew a gal in high school whose father wouldn't let her cut her hair.(I believe it was cultural in her family; her parents were immigrants) It was so long she could sit on it! She hated it, but dared not rebel. I saw her again at the Navy recruiting office (I'd recently enlisted)... she was 20, back from boot camp with a full, beautiful bob cut. Her dad nearly died of apoplexy. She told him that that Uncle Sam made her cut it, and if he didn't like it, he could take it up with the US Navy.

In short, don't make her wait until she's 'liberated' from dad. Do what you've gotta do....

I would put MY FOOT DOWN. You are her mother and are more able to make these girly decisions, this is more your area not his. Do it and make it no big deal, just explain to your husband all girls do this eventually 95% of us groom our brows one way or another. I started doing that at 12(not a unibrow just plucking) and i had no mom to tell me to do it, and a dad who didnt allow that sort of thing either. I didnt do it very well the first couple of times and i looked silly. Sparing her that is just one small reason to get it done.

Out of the women I KNOW 100% of us groom our eyebrow hair whether its plucking waxing threading or brushing upwards and trimming, i was taking away 5 % just to be generous.

Don't even bother with waxing it. Grab a razor and be done with it. Ten seconds and the unibrow is free to roam as two happy eyebrows.

My son is 4 1/2 years old and I just did his last night. It opens his big brown eyes up.

Ask her if she would like them tweezed and show her how to do it so she can maintain them if she wishes, no need to wax.

I would tell my husband what I am doing to do and ahead and do it.

This is a self-esteem issue as well....so really? I don't know why he would make a big deal of this. It is HIS DAUGHTER!!! Thick skin or no - I would do it.

It is a GIRL THING...tell him that. What will he do when she starts shaving legs, painting nails, wearing lip gloss, etc. This can simply be construed as a "hair cut" it is NOT permanent, it WILL grow back...

My husband just read your post - he said - DO IT!!! This is something my husband sees as a typically routine maintenance...

I think it's a decision both parents (and your daughter) need to be on board with.
How would you like it if your daughter wanted something you didn't approve of but your husband went ahead behind your back?
It's not respectful of your marriage or your parenting partnership.
You need to talk to him so he understands the teasing that is going on.
If it's that much a problem, a more permanent solution is to have the hair laser-ed so it doesn't come back and she doesn't have to worry about maintenance.
More costly up front, but in the long run the problem is solved.
Dad just needs to come around to seeing this as a way of protecting his daughter.
Communication is key.

Wax away!!! Forget what dad thinks, it is hard enough to be a middle schooler, and having something extra to be picked on over is the worst. Explain to dad that twelve yr old girls are mean, and she needs this small advantage.

I would talk to him. This is a girl thing and maybe something he doesn't understand. I would ask him what his fears are about his child doing something minor to feel better about herself.

When DH's ex got SD bras, DH was agahst! SD didn't have anything to put in them, etc. I said, "Honey, I was 11 and desperate for a bra because I was changing in gym class. Let it go." Later, when he found out that SD had learned to shave he asked me about it and I said I was about that age, too. Then he calmed down a bit.

If your DH equates a unibrow with implants or a tattoo, then you need to have more discussions with him. You aren't asking for her to dress inappropriately. You are asking for a small thing that could make a big difference and, frankly, he has to let her grow up a little.

My DD has developed a very faint unibrow and if she came to me and asked to have something done about it at 12, I would do it. I'm not a fan of the super young waxing and shaving, but 12 is old enough, IMO. Honestly, I would do it anyway. He could yell at me, but he'd be out of line if he did.

Help the girl out, this age is hard enough as it is if a ten dollar eyebrow waxing can help why wouldn't you do it. She will remember the teasing forever. Dad needs to stay out of this, tell him about it but make it clear this is a girl thing.

It's part of the grooming process! Just tell him you are going to do it... that's what mom's are for, to help their daughters out with things that their dad's may not understand!

Heck, I have a 15 year old boy who occasionally gets his eyebrows waxed when he is on a "I am so fine" kick. LOL

Tell your husband before you do it, but this is a girl thing. And as a Mom you have to teach your daughter girlie grooming.

How involved is the father in other aspects of her hygiene... does he ok every hair cut, every outfit? Will he have to be consulted when she decides to shave her legs? This is a issue for you and your daughter, make the decision and stick to it.

I shaved mine all through Jr. High and High School and still to this day will quickly shave that area when it is getting to where I can see it. I have started plucking it too. I never plucked my eye brows, just used the razor. I don't even look in the mirror. I hold my finger over the part of my eyebrow that I don't want shaved and use it in the middle only. Then I do the other side.

If hubby says no waxing then I would show her how to use the tweezers.

Honestly, I would have been tweezing them for her once it became an issue, probably even as early as 6. I have two daughters and while I will not attempt to over sex them, I will not let them walk around with a unibrow. Most men don't even do that.

If you feel like you need dad's blessing, bring it up as "Have you noticed X's unibrow? Do you think she is getting teased about that? I think she is and is very self concious about it. Do you think we should talk to her about it? I can teach her how to tweeze it, but I think she needs to have it waxed the first time. What do you think?"

If you feel the need to go forward and don't want it to be noticable, tweeze her brows a little at a time over a week or two. Of course if she wants to do any of this, and my guess is that she does. If she does, advocate for her.

waxing is not a one time thing, it's something you need to maintain. I personally had a bad reaction to wax and bought one of those micro trimmers from Bed Bath and Beyond for $10 and I take care of my eyebrows. I do think you need to talk to your husband, but explain it as a bullying issue. My mom had ages on everything, so I was teased about my leg hair, my eyebrows, not wearing deodorant or bras. It wasn't horrible teasing and I did get over it, but I also decided I wouldn't do that to my kid. If she wants it, let her get it.

First, I'd ask her if she wanted it done. If she does then take her now. I would not make it a birthday present and I wouldn't ask my husband's permission. This is a girl thing. It isn't plastic surgery, it is simply along the lines of getting a pedicure. Also, don't allow your husband to yell at you because of a decision you made. Tell him you will be happy to discuss the matter when he is calm enough to have a real conversation about it.

i think it's a good idea. or maybe one of those home waxing kits? heck, even a pair of tweezers - if it really bothers her, she'll figure out how to do it pretty quickly. i hope dad is understanding. (i also agree with DON'T wait till may :)) i think the best idea is to take her to get done asap, and if dad spouts off, just tell him it's along the lines of basic maintenance, like someone said. mention tampons! ;) good luck!

Take her for a spa day and get it done along with her nails and hair as her gift for her birthday

Why would the father have control over her grooming? You are her mother and need to stand up and not allow him to be a dictator. Have a talk with her about growing up, hair, culture,etc: and let her know what her choices are. Does she want to let the hair be, pluck it or wax? It is her choice and make sure you support her and that she is able to choose for herself.

Ask your daughter- point blank... if she wants to pluck or shape her eyebrows, or if she likes them as they are.

She might not be teased... right now thicker eyebrows are popular in some magazines and maybe no one really notices or cares. I am sure you think she is beautiful no matter what she does with them! If she does want them waxed... do it. You are not forcing her to grow up too fast or anything.... If she were a boy at this age 'he' would be likely dealing with new changes and could be starting to shave- probably taught to him by dad! Remind your husband that your daughter is growing up and it is your job as parents to ready her for adulthood AND help her have these last few years of childhood be cherished memories. If you are sure she is being teased about her eyebrows... it could make her bitter. On another note- even if you do fix THIS 'problem'- I can almost guarantee that middle schoolers can find something else to tease her about... so try to teach her how to have confidence in herself- a good thick skin- AND do what she needs to feel beautiful inside and out!

I was a non-comformist in school... but I had hideous glasses. I was allergic to metal so I was stuck with grandma-esque bulky huge frames. I felt like they were a TARGET for everyone to pick on me. I begged my parents to let me get contacts so that I wouldn't have those AWFUL glasses. Finally, in middle school they let me get contacts, and for me it made a world of difference. Sure, I still got teased for other things... but at least I didn't have a huge target right on my face. I think that for me contacts saved me from 7 years of treachery on the part of my peers. So in short- Do you think that her unibrow is a TARGET?

Good Luck Either way!
-M.

PS- I agree that if it is a really big deal, don't wait till her birthday. Also, that way if dad get angry it wont ruin her birthday- it will be completely separate from it.

If she is already getting teased, I would not wait five more months for a birthday treat. We are not talking about a piercing or tattoo or even hair dyeing. If your child is getting teased, you should do something about the hair, just like she shaves her underarms and legs. It sounds like hubby needs to be educated about how bullying affects teens, and to read some of the stories about how teasing and bullying has caused teens to commit suicide. Don't allow your daughter's self esteem to suffer. If she wants to have to waxed/tweezed/shaved/threaded, go ahead with it.

Unless your daughter has specifically asked you about it or told you that she wants something done than I wouldn't do it. The last thing you want to do as a parent is make her feel self conscious about something that she *may* not be worried about at all.
If it comes down to her wanting to do it than I would just take her and do it. Do you get yours waxed? Take her one day with you and ask her if she wants to get hers done too. If your husband says anything than you can pull him into the other room and talk to him about how merciless girls are, how there may be teasing, and you are trying to make things easier for her.
BUT...If the teasing has already started than it will continue. I just want you to be prepared for that. If it's not her eyebrows it will be something else. Tread lightly here mom. Make sure SHE brings it up.
L.

She is your daughter too, and waxing is not some kind of body modification. Just call it a girls day, and take her to the salon to get them shaped.

You say your husband is strict, or does he really have a control issue over women? I sense you are already familiar with his rage. What you would like to do is for your daughter's self-esteem. I think it is very kind of you to want to make your daughter feel good about herself. Your 'birthday treat' sounds like the perfect timing. I would go ahead and do it (as long as this is what your daughter really wants too.) If your husband throws a fit, just ignore him, as it takes two people to argue. Remain silent and keep your composure. Let it be his problem and not yours.

There are some areas I think men should have NO SAY over a girl or a woman! Hair is one of those--be it the head of hair, i.e. long or short, or eyebrows and even legs! At age 12 to 13, kids will pick out anything to ridicule each other. If your daughter is having a problem with this, get it done and tell your husband the hair issue is off limits to him. He would be incensed if you insisted he had to wear HIS hair a certain way or insisted he grow a beard or a mustache.

She sounds old enough that she should have the say on this one.

That's tough. If she came right out and asked for it or complained about it, I would say go for it. But, if she has never mentioned it bothering her, what if you bring it up and only then she becomes self-concious about it. Also, even if she is being teased, if the unibrow doesn't bother her, you don't want to give her the message that she should change herself because of what others think. Does it work with 12 yr olds to beat around the bush? Like, could you say, "Honey, now that you are older, you can start making more choices about your appearance. So, if you ever want to change your haircut, or start getting your nails done, you know you can always talk to me about that." Or, something like, "You know, when I was your age I wore glasses (or was too skinny, overweight, had acne, whatever). My classmates teased me all the time. I sure wish Grandmom had got me contact lenses."

In response to one of your specific concerns, though, no way do I think it's wrong to let her get it waxed. Why let her suffer for something that's so easily fixed, especially since almost all women wax/pluck our brows!

Let us know what happens. My daughter is headed for a unibrow in her future, and I dread her being teased about it.

Good luck.

all for waxing only if it bothers her otherwise she is young to start waxing
discuss it with dad no bnig deal

Pluck it. You can slowly thin out the unibrow without losing the natural look or peach fuzz that is probably there. It is also less dramatic so the kids in school won't have a dramatic difference to also tease her about. Make sure you teach her how and be clear to tell her only between the eyes or it's easy for her to over do it on her own.
As for her father -what is the part he would have issue with? Salon waxing as a "treat"?

get a personal trimmer and shave the unibrow, i have hair between my brows n thats what i use i got one for 20 at target and it does the job

Well you could approach it as a mommy daughter getting older GIRL time thing. get brows waxed fingers and toes painted and maybe a little design as a birthday gift thing. that way its not a huge step into adult hood which he may be scared would be happening but a mommy daughter time thing GOOD LUCK

Will he really notice? I mean if you don't say anything about it and just take her out on a mother daughter day and have it done, I don't see the harm at all. Now if you already talked to him and he was against it, then yeah, don't do it unless you talk privately and come to an agreement. But if you have no first hand knowledge that he is against it, I say go for it! If he comes home and does notice and is upset then just ask to go to the bedroom to talk it over and let him have his say and try to calmly explain to him the angst of having a uni-brow and hopefully he will defer to your judgement as you are a woman and she is a blossoming woman. If not, I say don't make a big fuss, say you didn't know he had a problem with this and just hold off on doing it until she is older. As everyone else said I'd make sure it is something she wants before going through all this, she may not really mind it, who knows and if it is possible it can stir up this much trouble I'd make sure it was super important to her. I know when I became aware of my eyebrows as a young teen I just got some tweezers read in my little teeny bopper magazines and started plucking! It never occurred to me to even mention it to my mom, so it really might not be bothering her as much as you think. Good luck!

You don't indicate if your daughter is uncomfortable with her eyebrows. This should definitely be up to her.

Personally waxing hurts like heck to me. I would probably try threading instead and I like the idea of plucking it out slowly over time too.

As for dad, don't disrespect your husband but let your daughter possibly talk to her father about why she would want to have her unibrow no longer.

I am surprised that most of the responses say "do it!"

If your daughter hasn't brought it up, there is a GOOD chance that if she is teased, she just doesn't care...she might not even realize it.

My sister got teased when we were young for her non-name-brand clothing, and it really bothered her, I wore her hand me downs, and she TELLS me I was teased, but it seriously never bothered me, I didn't even know I was teased, because what the other kids said didn't matter to me unless they were my friends, and friends don't make fun of us.

It saddens me that so many of the women on this board say "conform to society's view of beauty instead of defining it for yourself." It's a parenting forum, so I assume all of the respondents are parents, if this is what is being taught to much of the youth today, it breaks my heart :(

Edited to add: out of the women I know personally, nowhere NEAR 95% of the them wax/shave/shape their eyebrows.