My daughter is only 9 months old but she has such a temper already. When we say no, take things away or try to feed her when she isn't interested she arches her back and flings her head back in anger while screaming and crying. She also kinda sticks her tongue out when she isn't happy about something. I know we spoil her but she is only 9 months and we just try to give her all the love we can. I do try to be firm with her when she gives me a hard time during diaper changes or puts herself in harms way and sometimes she does listen, but is it possible to create a monster at this age? And what is with the flinging back? Luckily I am used to it now but the first time she nearly flew out of my arms! Has anyone dealt with this type of behavior before? Thank sin advance for your advice!
Mine did this too. Ignore it. If she does it on the floor when you say no, walk away and ignore her. If she does it at meal time, take her out of the seat and the meal is finished. (basically what the other poster said). It may take a few weeks, but it will stop.
Mine does that all the time. I love how my husband ( and now I) handle it. He smiles and in a patient voice say " ok you go ahead and get mad" and just let's our son flop for a second then distracts him with something else. Works great
Also when my son goes to touch something dangerous or simply off limits we say " that's not yours" then hand him a toy or something else and say " this is yours" that way he's starting to get the idea of what he can and can't have without having to say no. We've been doing it 4 weeks and now all I have to say is "that's not yours' to have him moving his hand. He'll still throw a mini fit for a few seconds sometimes if he really wants it , but we just smile and then redirect him:)
My daughter was the same way! This is the first signs of her temperment, her personality. She is a strong willed child! This is not a negative trait in the scheme of things over your life, but it is a difficult to deal with as a parent! You might as well start reading now this book or others like it, Setting Limits with your strong willed child by Robert Mackenzie. Her behavior will be consistent, this is how she operates in the world, she must always attempt to assert her own will and learn things for herself the hard way. As a parent you must always remember it's not you! But this type of temperment child takes a lot of patience and consistency. I wish you the best of luck. !!
yes those are the fun days. The arching and sticking out the tongue are classic anger postures. I can remember a couple of times my son almost arched himself right out of my arms. It was like I was holding onto a carp and not a child!
Be calm and consistent. Distraction is the best means of discipline at this age - calmly say no and that this other behavior is better. You'll find that she will ebb and flow with phases like this.
ah yes. isn't that FUN? i literally would just take my hands off and take a step away. (instead of trying to hug her etc). that worked the best for me. arch back... both my kids do that. but 9 months seems a bit early.
they do what works.
stop mmaking in work.
if she's safe don't pay any attention.
My son is 9 months old, and does the same thing. He does this especially during diaper changes. He arches his back and tries to crawl away. I'm hoping it's just a faze they are going through. Good luck with your little one!
My daughter used to throw herself backwards onto the floor and bang her head on stuff. I used to point and laugh and say 'look how SILLY you look when you get mad! Go ahead, GET MAD!' and I'd walk away laughing. It hurt her head to do that, and once she realized she STILL wasn't getting her way with me, she got bored with it REAL quick!
Oh my, I have had a few bloody lips from a baby flinging their head into my mouth. If she is old enough to get mad she is old enough to scold. I have had many foster babies and also many baby animals. This has worked with all. When they hurt you (bite/hit) or are about to hurt themselves (touch stove/outlet) I let out an UNGODLY screech. Not no, but OHHHH!!!!! or OWWWW!!!!. This generally startles all babies and they think twice before repeating the behavior. Since your little one has been flinging for a while it might take a few screeches, before she stops.
Another way to stop is put your knuckle in the back of her head so she hits it and gets hurt. But this is a final resort method. You really cant ignore it, since it is dangerous.
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LOL YEP this is normal at her age. What I used to do was be firm and keep her safe. All 5 of my kids did the same thing. You do need to teach her now that NO means NO or it will get out of hand, trust me I know. My daughter was our first, while we stood firm on things that could harm her we did give in when it came to letting her set the diaper change time and going to bed. She never napped and set her bedtime at 9 p.m. which was fine with us, but diaper changes were a huge problem, she was allergic to the disposable diapers and needed to wear cloth diapers which caused her to have a severe diaper rash that was in essence a burn and she needed Silvadene (excuse the spelling) cream. Anyway she fought us on changing her for a good reason if you ask me so we let her wait until she really needed it; big mistake. When we had our second, a boy, we started from day one being firm and honestly I wish we had been tough with our daughter from day one. After our daughter we had 4 boys. As for eating, if she doesn't want to eat you can't force her, but don't let her eat junk food afterward, she needs to know that when she is ready to eat she will have her meal but not fruit, cookies or whatever else she desires. I hope this helps.
Establishing boundaries and being consistent with them IS loving her. A huge part of raising children is training them to have control over themselves. We are all egocentric - literally 'self-centered'. I want what I want, when I want it, how I want it. A child does not outgrow that on her own. She has to be taught. If parents don't take the effort the train it out of the child, she will become a self-centered adult and bring much grief to herself and you and others.
So, do be willing to discipline her now. It's pay not or pay later. You don't need a lot of words. She understands 'no' by this time and action. Don't give her 3 chances - she'll learn she has 3. Just one chance and then the consequence. Do it calmly, cheerfully, but 100% consistently. She is a tough cookie.
By 9 months, children learn to manipulate. I know it sounds so early, but by this age they learn "if I cry, they do ____" or "if I get mad, they ______." If you give in to her temper, it will only get worse. The best way to react is to firmly tell her to stop and procede doing what made her mad. If she fights you at mealtime, quit. She won't starve herself. If she is throwing a fit over something, put her down and walk away or put her in her playpen and ignore her until she stops. It might get worse before it gets better, but if you react to her fits she will learn that that is an acceptable behavior. Good luck!
