My 8 Year Old

Updated on November 25, 2006
D.B. asks from Cocoa, FL
4 answers

I am having a problem with my 8 yr old getting to bed on time. she fights and fights with me almost everynight, her throat hurts etc., she has homework she did not tell me about or a project and that is due or just plain old "I not tried" and we end up fighting about it, she ends up going to bed after 10 everynight I have taken away everything, grounded her, no friends NOTHING works we end up fighting almost everynight. Other then that she is a great kid! A little back ground on her her real father has barely anything to due and my husband she calls daddy and she just started this thing that her father is her father and my husband is her daddy. her father called Thanksgiving and she said she rathered stayed outside she talked maybe 2 mins then said she had to go. (but this just started) she ben fighting about bed as long as I remember she is above grade level and in gifted classes. I am at a loss. any help would be great!
Thanks Ahead of time! D.

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A.R.

answers from Melbourne on

To me this is just 'normal stuff' and has nothing to do with her Dad or stepdad. All kids want to stay up late, all of them forget about homework till the last minute unless parents make them do it earlier.

No coke or cola any caffeine after 5PM, thats one thing to make sure of.

I dont know what time you are trying to make her go to bed, but 10 isnt that 'late' really. If lights-out at 10 would end the fight, then try it.

Tell her the rules you make, like for example 'lights out at 10', but she can read in bed with a flashlight. No TV after 10PM, and she has to stay in her room and be shhhhh - quiet.

If she isn't tired then still no TV, she can read in bed and stay in her room. Let her have a later bedtime if its not a school-night.

The forgotten homework and last-minute project is another problem totally. Ask her about homework and projects and make a time right after school to do them, and find out what the assignments are from the teacher. A lot of teachers now a way to check online. Send the teacher an email.

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J.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

I listened to a CD once by a child psychologist (or whatever he may have been) that talked about this subject and one thing that I applied from that seemed to work for me. The thing is to use the natural concequences of their actions.

My boys (now 12 & 11) had the same problem, so I allowed them to stay up as long as they wanted, in their own bedroom, if they didn't get too rowdy and I didn't hear them. They agreed thinking this would be so cool. Well after about 2 or 3 nights of staying up very late and having to get up for school, we didn't fight about bedtime anymore. Of course, they would complain about going to bed, but they at least did it with managable resistance.

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P.P.

answers from Orlando on

Hi D. , Happy Holidays, I hope this letter finds you and your family in the best of health, wealth and prosperity. D. it sounds like this is something that has taken place in her life without your knowledge, this late night staying up, it didn't just come out of no where.Do you work night s or evenings, has any one else besides you ever cared for this child? Did she visit some one or spend the night over some ones house. Some of the rules that we imput into our children can certainly be influenced by others, and trust me those others are very rare other children, most of the time it's people in authority, people we trust with our children.So,,,,,,, don't be so quick to look at the child but,,,,, look at the influence that is around her, we can't put our kids in boxes, however God has given us to be good stewards over them. Are we going to raise them or will we allow them to raise us. Do not compromise your standards not even for the child. Later on she will appreciate you. As far as removing some things from her, I think you should give some things back , not all, but don't change your rules. Continue to work with her don't give in and eventually she will. One thing about kids , you have to find their killys hill. Because ever kid has one, you just have to watch them close enough to find out what it is. D. over all my messege to you is watch your daugther very close because there has certainly some negative influence some where in her life. I wish you the best.

Your Mamasource sister
P. A P.

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J.B.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

MY 7 YEAR OLD IS THE SAME. HE ALSO IS IN GIFTED CLASSES. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH OUR CHILDREN IS THAT THEY ARE SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON, AND IT SEEMS THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS READY WITH AN ANSWER. I RECENTLY STARTED USING A REWARD CHART, AND TO MY SURPRISE HE HAS BEEN DOING ALL CHORES AND RESPONSIBILITIES WITHOUT ME ASKING. BEDTIME IS ALSO ONE FOR HIM BECAUSE HE TOO THINKS HE CAN STAY UP. MAYBE GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE IF IT WORKS FOR YOU. I HAVE ALSO TAKEN ALL THINGS AWAY FROM MY SON AND I FOUND IF I REWARD HIM AFTER SO MANY COLLECTED POINTS, HE GETS SOMETHING HE LIKES.

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