My 8 Month Old Will Not Sleep, I've Tried Everything!

Updated on April 13, 2008
S.G. asks from Van Nuys, CA
11 answers

Has anyone tried the 3day Sleep Solution that is advertised on mamasource? What does it entail?

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So What Happened?

OH MY GOSH!!! I want to sing and shout from the rooftops that my little sweet munchkin of a baby boy finally, FINALLY slept for 9 hours straight!!!!! I used the CIO cold turkey method. The first night he cried for 1 hour and 10 agonizing minutes and then put himself to sleep. He woke 3 hours later and cried for another hour. And then slept for 3 hours. But the next night he cried for 9 minutes and then put himself to sleep for 9 hours. The next night he cried for 1 minute and then put himself to sleep after 15 minutes of no crying and slept for 6 hours! I am eternally grateful to all you moms out there that lent support. CIO works and guess what he still loved me in the morning :) Yay!!!

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M.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son didn't sleep for the first 4 years! Try talking to the doctor. Many won't do anything but some will recommend some benedryl but I would not attempt unless a doctor advises.
The days I had energy, I tried to keep my son very active all day long with little rest and that helped a little.
Some parents say that lavender helps. Now they have lavender baby wash for that night time bath. You could try that. I used the lavender oil, a couple dabbs on his night shirt and it did help him calm a little.

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

An ocean wonders aquarium worked for me. I put one in my daughter's crib and she started to get up and play with it, rather than scream for me. She was a year-old when I did this. I also tried letting her cio and she would cry for two hours, my first dd would fall asleep after 5 min. of cio. If it hasn't worked by now its not going to. Good luck! My DD is two and she still doesn't sleep through the night, but a few toys and a paci keeps her busy so she doesn't cry unless she has lost her paci. My aquarium has been passed down to a friend and is working its magic on another child.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,

I recommend the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Some main things based on what you wrote and off the top of my head from that book that I can recommend to you are:

#1: Your baby probably only needs two naps at his age, regardless of how long he sleeps for each nap. The third nap may be interfering with his internal time clock and affecting his night sleep.

#2: Bedtime should start earlier. If he's overtired, he's not going to sleep well at night. I would try two naps, and putting him down super early, like between 5 and 6 pm, until he has moved beyond the overtired state, and then you can start moving it closer to 7pm. I know every baby is slightly different, but in general, I believe babies' internal time clocks are based on the light. In general, my son sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am (if he's not awake at 7:00, I try my darndest to get up and wake him up so his morning nap is on time) and then starts his first nap sometime between 9 and 9:30 am. It's not common, but if he hasn't awakened by 11:00 am, I will wake him up in order to make sure that he doesn't have problems with his afternoon nap. Now that he's older, the afternoon nap has moved a little later because he's not as tired, but with your little one I would try making it between 1 pm and 2 pm initially, depending on when his tired signals start. My son hardly shows any tired signals other than getting quieter and his eyes start looking a little red. If he starts yawning, I know I've got to get him down quickly before the overtired state begins.

#3 - You've got to be consistent, no matter what method you choose. If you want him to sleep in his crib, always put him to sleep in his crib so he knows that is a signal for bed/nap time. If you can't stand the cry it out method, and your son doesn't get stimulated rather than calmed by your presence, a good method to try is to do your whole routine, put him down and wait 5 minutes, go in and pat him and sing to him if he's still crying (but don't stay in there too long). Then wait 10 minutes and repeat if still crying. Then 15 minutes, then 20. If he's still crying after a total of one hour, then go ahead and pick him up and try again maybe an hour later. Just be consistent. Eventually he should catch on that you're not going to pick him up during that hour (but he'll know you will eventually return if/when he needs you). It will take some time, so please try not to be discouraged if it doesn't work right away. He needs to "forget" your prior inconsistencies and start recognizing a routine.

Hope this helps a little... but getting the book (or another sleep book) will help even more!

-E. :)

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S.P.

answers from San Diego on

I tried this program and it is pretty good and well worth the money. It didn't work 100% for me, but I would say 95%. my baby still wakes once at night, but other than that I just put her to bed now for night time and naps and she goes to sleep on her own. No paci, no nothing. It was hard the first few days though. She cried once for at least and hour straight. After that you're supposed to go and check on them. This lasted for almost a week. I hung in there though because if you go in and rescue them all that hard work in undone. It will work if you stick with it and the idea behind it is calming as well. Not cry it out, but helping them learn how to fall asleep as adults do. We as adults toss and turn, babies cry...not sad, just settling to sleep. I know it sounds lame, but it worked even for me and I am a big wimp.

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, NO HONEY until he is over a year old. It can Kill babies. That said, a great book is 'Good Nights' by Dr. Jay Gordon. Another author that all the mom's I know swear by is Dr. Sears. If you are a Stay at home mom, I don't recommend the CIO method. I tried it, but it didn't work for us. We tried it about a week or so, but I just felt horrid the entire time and she ended up in the bed with us anyway. You might try to cut the cereal out. My daughter would wake up screaming when I gave her cereal at night, and the Pediatrician said that the iron in the cereal can give them cramps. You might try some other food he likes (no apples either), and see if that helps. Also, if he will take a sippy cup, you might try milk in the cup, but I Think you can even give him an ounce or two of water after six months. I hope some of this helps. Good luck
R.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wish I had advice.... I could have wrote your request. I have an 8 month old and we have the exact same issues. Exact-- to the tee! Im so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Please let me know if you find some miracle sleep treatment :)

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You are not doomed! Although it feels like it.... I went through the same thing with my son, and all I can say is try to make everyone as comfortable as possible and sleep whenever you can. We let our son sleep with us because CIO did NOT work - I was very consistent with it for weeks... I also tried every tried and true method from every book and every suggestion from my friends... he just didn't sleep through the night until he was almost three years old... then he stopped napping! But now at three years two months old he sleeps consistently and quietly through the night every night from 8pm to 8am - in his own bed in his own room :) Just keep your chin up, and try not to get too depressed about it, it's only a few years of your life and then you'll be through it and onto a new adventure with an energetic preschooler in your house!

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H.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
Totally know what you;re saying... i did the CIO method and it worked wonders for me... mine was 6 months old, and i was nursing, so he'd go to sleep at 8, wake up at 2 and then again at 5...and yeah, the 6 hour strech was great, but at that age he didnt need the 2 am feeding anymore... i had to do it.. i was misserable, it took me forever to fall back asleep after every feeding, and by the time i fell asleep, it was time to wake up again... i felt guilty for letting him cry, felt like a terrible mother at first, but you have to do whats best for you and your family... this is how i did it (and i had to wait for my husband to go out of town to do it, because he cant handle it, and for me to calm them both down was just too hard).. anyway, thats what i did: he woke up, i waited for 1 minute, went in and said "honey, mama's here, go back to sleep, i love you"... dont touch him, dont pick him up... LEAVE!!! cries again, wait 2 minutes, repeat, dont touch, LEAVE!!!!, then 3 minutes, then 5, then 8, then 12, then 15, then 20.. and 20 again.. and 20 again...my doctor told me this could go on all night... but it didnt.. as long as you consistanly keep going back and increasing the time, he'll get the point.. you're not being a bad mother, bad person... you're teaching your child how to self southe himself... at this point he doesnt know how to fall asleep on his own, and its our job to teach our children how to be self seficient and independent... the first night it took in total of 30 minutes of crying, the next night 15, the night after that, 5 minutes, and never again a 2 am wake up.. i kept the 5 am till he was about 1.5... i was nursing, so i felt like he needed it... More sleep makes a happier baby and a happier mommy... it took me 3 days, it might take you a little longer, and in a long run, its not damaging to their nerves or their self esteem, they will still love you in the morning and need you, and no, they wont resent you for making them cry...babies cry, it happends... my baby is 2.5 now, almost, and yes, here and there he wakes up at night, but then he goes back to sleep because HE KNOWS HOW... just be consistant, stick to it, and hopefully it will work for you... good luck...

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D.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

my son had the same problem and what worked for us was giving him some warm chamomile tea with honey before going to bed. It worked great! I hope it works for your little guy : )

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N.L.

answers from Reno on

Hi S., Your problem with the CIO is that you went in there after 30 min. Your son knows he can outlast you. IN order for CIO to work, you have to let him CIO. The WORST thing you can do is let him cry for 30 min and then go in his room at 31 minutes. You have just shown him that if he keeps it up, you'll come and comfort him in one way or another. He obviously cannot self soothe & he needs to learn that. Please don't get me wrong, I KNOW it's difficult, I've been through it. Finally, at 6 months old I had to suck it up and let my daughter CIO and get my daughter on a schedule and to sleep somewhere besides on me! It was really hard, but let me tell you, SO WORTH IT!! She's a great sleeper now. We'll still have occasional nap problems, but the only time we have had night issues has been if she's been sick or teething(which is understandable, of course). I would highly recommend the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.' Good luck to you. You just have to decide what your plan is and STICK TO IT. You have to be consistant & not bring him to your bed. You will sleep again! :-)

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son slept through the night once when he was about 6 weeks old and never again until he was almost 11 months. I know you're pain!

With Keegan we tried everything including crying it out, and none of it worked. I finally accepted that every baby is different and each does everything in their own time. I'm a lactation educator at A Mother's Haven in Encino and a breastfeeding mom as well. Something that may help you is if you can gradually wean your son from night nursings and get him to take more calories during the day. Once I started doing that with Keegan he started sleeping for longer periods of time at night (He was like your son. Up every hour or two at night and would sometimes stay awake for 3-4 hours). Then one day around Christmas he just magically slept through the night. It wasn't consistent at first, but after a week or two he did it every night.

If you don't want to wait it out I would recommend getting in touch with Synthia Praglin. She teaches Mother's Gathering at A Mother's Haven and is also a sleep consultant. The number is ###-###-####. Hope this helps!!!

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