My 5 Year Old Whines and Cries Alot

Whining is just irratating no matter what age the child is. If ignoring the whining isn't doing any good you may try the following. He starts to whine tell him calmly he is whining and you just aren't going to listen to it, he just has to stop. If he doesn't stop he loses a privelage. If that doesn't help then he loses TV time, video game time, etc., if he doesn't whine for a day then he gets a special treat or reward.
Frankly I am raising a 10 year old who drives me nuts every morning because (and I have physically timed him) it takes him 3 1/2 minutes to put on 1 sock. Frankly it takes him 27 to 30 minutes to get dressed every morning. Drives me up the wall!!! And by the way this does not include combing his hair or brushing teeth!!! I start telling him to get up at 5:30 a.m. to catch a 7 a.m. bus!! You have my sympathy but you have to stop him from whining right now. He whines to get additional attention from everyone and it may be working. When he starts to whine everyone just needs to walk away from him and ignore him until he stops.

Working with 5 year olds in the school setting can be challenging...a lot of kids this age want to test out boundries and rules and expectations.
I love the idea about a kitchen timer and making getting ready a game...schools use these kinds of techniques very seamlessly and the kids don't even realize it. Often times, kids this age need schedules. You can buy some really cute, cheap schedule charts or make your own. Put each task that frustrates you on the daily schedule and the time limit that it should be accomplished in. Have a rewards system verses a punishment system...they often work better. Every time your son completes his task on time, without tears or whining, give him a sticker on the chart. If he gets so many stickers, think of little rewards. They don't have to cost a lot...maybe it can be he gets to chose the video to watch or get extra tv, or an extra treat during the day.
Often, punishments just test boundries while reward systems help to teach responsibility and the importance of making good choices. I hope that this helps.

This is all for attention. If the 7 and the 2 year old are doing pretty well then Im pretty sure when your 5 year old whines or takes forever he is getting the attention, even if it is negative attention. He is being paid attention too. Not that you are not giving him attention but some kids like a lot of it.
Maybe set a timer and give him only so much time to do what is expected, it may make it fun like a race, and if he cant do it in the time alloted then take away a privledge and if he can reward him. Just a thought!

I too have a 5 year old who can be a challenge. I also use the timer a lot. We do a lot of 5 minute things. Such as we are leaving in 5 minutes. Get your socks on. Are they on? Ok get your shoes on. Are they on? Ok get your coat on. Are they on? And so on. We really break it down 1 step at a time. Also, if there is a lot of whinning there is time out set to the timmer as well. Good behavior is rewarded with a marble put in a jar. when the jar is filled he gets to pick out a special prize. There are also small prizes along the way... extra tv time, staying up 15 minutes later etc. but this has encoured cleaning up. Also, with that I tell him to pick up a certain toy and put it in a certain place. Nothing vague like go clean the basement. That is way too much for my son to handle. Sometimes as well I will talk back to my 5 yr old in his whinny voice to let him know what it sounds like and he will tell me not to talk that way and I'll let him know that is how he sounded. And usually that works wonders as well. He doesn't like how I sound. I hope these all help I know how frustrating it can be. Remeber baby steps.
J.

First off I would say your son is only seeking more attention, He was the baby for 3 years before you had the 2 year old. Some kids just need more attention and have a harder time understanding that babies take up a lot of your time because they can't do anything by them selfs. You might try having him help with the younger siblings like getting you diapers or wipes or even keep a eye on them.To him he is the middle child. You can also make getting ready to go a game and he will want to win maybe a small reward.He's competeing for your attention so use it to get him moving. It is reverse phychology.Kids are so much smarter than us adults. My younger sister use to pinch me to get my Mom's attention, I would scream stop it and she got her butt busted for pinching but she never cried.She just smiled because she got Mom's attention.
Your a brave lady to raise 4 children in these times of uncertain economical standings. Bless you.
Debbie

Hey P.!

I would suggest that you take an inventory of his other development, some processing disorders or visual processing disorders can present themselves as the kind of slow out put you describe. The child is frustrated by it too, which is why they whine and complain. If you have ever had cause to ask "is this typical" about his langauge, social skills, hand skills, coordination, learning, speech, or sensory reactions, then have him evaluated, even if he seemed to catch up or is making progress.

M.

For the sake of everyone......get him going FIRST. Set restrictions and limits on WHERE he goes (stays in his room, etc.) WHAT is available to him, no toys, etc. depending on the situation. Set timers if you have to. I found this to be helpful in certain situations.

In addition, IF something is not completed when it needs to be or within a specific amount of time, then there needs to be consequences. STICK TO THEM! If you have to make bedtime earlier, DO IT! If you have to take toys away....DO it and then he'll have to EARN them back by getting things done, etc. If he ends up w/ nothing to play with, he NEEDS TO KNOW HE HAS CONTROL OVER THAT!

I've found that when kids are upset about something that I make sure they understand how they play a part in it. If they are upset because a restaurant didn't have what they wanted, THEY choose to be upset OR....pick something else. There are MANY times in life when you have to choose something else when your first option isn't available. LEARN NOW! The rest of life will be MUCH easier when you learn how much your mind & attitude play in EVERY situation!

I've seen children go from EXTREMELY upset to being perfectly fine once they realize THEY are the one creating the unpleasant situation. I always say, "You have the choice" or "You make the choice" but realize if you continue in this bad/inappropriate/uncooperative/bad attitude behavior; YOU made that choice, not me. THEREFORE, you have NO reason to be upset with me. I DID NOTHING wrong. I was only trying to help you do what needed to be done.

It's worked 100% of the time. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but it ALWAYS works. Kids like to know they have some control. They need to understand that it can be a POSITIVE experience or a negative one, based on their choice.

kids that age don't have a concept of time. When you say "we are leaving in 15 minutes" it means nothing. I had to do a lot of counting with DS and breaking down of jobs. "Go get your shoes on" was too vague. It was "I will count to 37 see if you can find your shoes before I'm done." Then it was "Have them on and tied before I finish the ABC song" Turn it into a game or a race. that is what worked for me.

Explain to him that you are not going to put up with the complaining anymore. That he will be punished for it. Explain that you will tell him what to do "put your shoes on" and if it is not done within 10 minutes or whatever time limit you choose, you will put them on him and when you get home from wherever you are going, he will spend an hour alone in facing a corner or the wall.
This will work with any discipline you are trying to teach him.