My 5 Year Old Very Social Kindergartner Daughter Is Not Socializing in School

I worked in a kindergarten class today. It was only their 9th day of school and most of the kids didn't talk to/play with each other yet. They didn't even know each others names.

I wouldn't worry about the social part, as long as your daughter isn't unhappy. I've found that both my kids show their personalities very differently at school than at home.

I was so surprised when I found out that my quiet rule-follower (at home) was getting in trouble for talking in class at school.

And, conversely, my no-fear talker (at home) is quiet and a bit of an introvert at school.

I do think it's important even for introverts to have at least 1 friend, so I would ask her who her favorite person in the class is, and set up a playdate. That might help ease your mind.

You could give the teacher a heads up about the OT so she can give some extra encouragement when your daughter tries.

Some kids have a 'wait and see' approach to learning in new situations.
Our son is like this..
The first teacher conference of the year every teacher told us
'He's so quiet! He needs to speak up in class more'.
Then the rest of the year they had trouble getting him to shut up.
He just likes to observe to figure out how everything works and see what all the rules are before he's willing to jump in.
It's a learning style and it's perfectly normal.
Now that he's in high school it progresses a whole lot faster so it's not as noticeable.

Please don't think of kindergarten as 'no more fun as games like in preschool'.
Kindergarten should still have some - and first grade will be more of an adjustment that way.

Oh my! I suggest we as a society have become too goal oriented and quick to worry. Life is a process. In my 70 years of living I've learned that observation is good but expecting life to be a certain way leads to aanxiety and disappointments. Life will be OK no matter what happens. Yes, we plan. However, expecting a positive result goes a long way towards a satisfactory life.

Your daughter is ok and will continue to be ok. Adjusting to new things takes time. Even if she remains more of a loner she will be ok. And not all kids take to writing and that's also ok. She will learn in her own time. I Know it's hard to not be coconcerned. Positive energy meets with success with less wanxiety. Positive expectations are worth cultivating. I wish I'd known this earlier.

I think you are worrying too quickly.

Also, IMO Kindergarten should be a lot of fun and games. The idea that K is "no more fun and games" is ridiculous. Is that really what your child's school is like?

I think the teacher is just trying to figure out all her new little people and I would not yet worry. It may be that the new length of day leaves her tired or she needs time to adjust or she's just interested in these new things right now. I'd keep an eye on it, but not fret yet.

RE: The writing, if you have not spoken to the teacher about the OT, I would do so. She may be able to try different things with your DD if she knows the history of your child's writing and motor skills.

I would not write off K as no fun. It's different, but she will still have fun.

Is she with any of her friends or is everyone new to her? Just a thought, but maybe she is used to her old friends and is not adjusted to all the new faces.

Try getting her to make clay people or pinch pots to get her hands working. Even snapping little legos together will be good for her coordination.

She is fine. K is a big change. Give her time.

My dds kindergarten friends loved to draw...go puzzles or legos....All involve fine motor skills.

It is too early in the year to worry about all this. She is just getting things figured out. We are in our 5th week of school and things are finally starting to settle for my kindergartner. I always try to ask my kids what the best part of their day was or if anything happened that wasn't what they expected. Notes in her lunch box really helped my daughter too. They gave her a connection to home during the day and also gave her a bonding moment with her teacher when they read them together.

Give her some time. It's K now... No more preschool!
They are learning the ropes and structure of school. It can be stressful for some students.

I'm in the classroom a lot and it does take time for children to adjust. It's ok.

When communicating with her, don't ask specific questions ( who did you play with today)... Be more general.., what was your favorite part of school today?

Do not have a standard set of questions daily when you pick he up. Be general in your communication... As in....What was you favorite part of school today!

Good luck! You sound like a very caring parent. Volunteering in the classroom also works wonders!

I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten she was social just not overly social and the teacher told me otherwise. So I would definitely check with that. Have a conference with the teacher or volunteer. As for the writing, it takes time to get used to that. My mom told me that when I was in kindergarten I hated writing, simply because I had never done it before and I was upset that my handwriting sucked and know I'm a journalist. Its just a big change, also does the teacher know about her moter delay. I woukd just have a meeting with the teacher and see where it goes from there

Have you asked her about her day? Asked if she played with new friends? Asked why she has been playing on her own a lot?
Start there and give her some time.