My 5 Month Old Won't Sleep Unless He Is Being Held Anyone Have Any Good Methods

The best advice I got when I was pregnant with my first was DO NOT rock the baby to sleep and always put them to bed in their own crib while they are awake so they learn to put themselves to sleep. They are now 16 and 13 and I have NEVER had a problem either with them going to bed on their own or fighting to get them up in the morning. I hope you find something that works. Good luck.

This too shall pass. We coslept so this wasn't an issue. Have you tried it?

Try cosleeping. You gotta do what you can to get some rest and function during the day.

We co-slept. We both found that we got so much more sleep than trying any other method. It was just so much easier. Our boys are 7 & 9, and both are great sleepers.

I am horrified that your doctor would tell you that your baby was just playing you! Your son wants human comfort and human love from his mother. That is a very real human need. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your son wanting your touch. If you comfort him in the middle of the night, you are responding to his needs. Now if he were 10 years old, I could see the doctor saying he was playing you. But he's just 5 months old. He's a baby!

It saddens me so much to hear some people say, "He needs to learn to self-soothe." He will. But he doesn't have to learn that at 5 months. There is nothing wrong with a baby being allowed to be a baby!

It is perfectly normal for babies to need comfort in the middle of the night. If you respond to your son's cries, you are teaching him that when he needs you, you are there. You are teaching him that he is safe and he is loved. It's a pain in the butt, and it's exhausting, but it is what your son needs. Parenting is 24/7. Your son doesn't stop needing his mommy just because it's the middle of the night.

Well, it's okay if he thinks you left him. You don't have to be joined at the chest all the time.

You taught him to do this by not putting him down when he was an infant. Now he's used to it. It's a habit and he has NO idea how to self-soothe. He uses you for it.

Have you talked to your pediatrician? If you haven't, do that. He or she will tell you how to do this. If you are unable to do the work it will take to change his sleep habits, then you are probably just going to have to co-sleep. Then you'll be asking us how to get him out of your bed...

Any chance your baby has reflux? I mention this because you also posted about eczema and food intolerances. Babies with reflux are more likely to have food intolerances, and babies with reflux are also terrible sleepers. You didn't mention spit-up, but I have to wonder if this all fits together. Reflux babies' tummies hurt at night if they lay down flat, so they want to be held to sleep. If any of this sounds familiar, then you need to treat the reflux before anything will change with the sleep. The often-mentioned cry-it-out method won't work on a baby that is in pain.

So, step back and look at the bigger picture here - is this just about sleep habits, or is there something else going on?

Another co-sleeper here. I just stayed next to them until they fell asleep. I also held my babies as much as they wanted me to, period. I now have four independent wonderful kids. I cringe thinking about putting them down and walking away if they were crying at that age. There are so many things I hate about "American parenting", and this is at the top of my list.

We used Ferber on our first born. We plan to do that again for baby #2. It's a few hard nights but works wonderfully.

Regards
F. B.

Our daughter was the exact same way. She would only sleep if we were holding her. I tried every sleep method there was and tried any advice that didn't seem wacko. We tried warm bath before bed, lavender scented lotion, putting her down before she was asleep, rock her to sleep, nurse her to sleep, don't rock or nurse to sleep, cry it out, Ferber, stand by the crib and rub her back. Nothing worked with her. We finally ended up cosleeping, which I know they say not to do, but we were desperate for sleep. Even then, she wouldn't sleep unless we were touching her. I was always so worried about rolling over on her that I barely slept. My husband so worried about it that he chose to sleep on the couch many nights. She finally outgrew it, but I thought we would never make it through. By the time she was a year she was a great sleeper. Hang on. It does get better.

Two different issues so will suggest some tips for first the sleep one, then the eating.

You can warm the crib first (I used like a magic pad) to make it more comforting. I swaddled mine too or used sleep sacs so they were already warm from me holding them before I laid them down. I'd just shhh then to soothe them a bit. I had those Fisher Price Aquariums (bubbles and soft music or ocean sounds) and once I'd shhhd and they could hear the waves, I'd just sort of back out of the room. If they woke again, I repeated it. Shhhd and rubbed back, turned machine on, and backed out of room .....

That got me through weaning them off night feeds too. I would rather do one proper big feed at night - both sides (if breastfeeding) and full burp and change and then they'd sleep better. Some people do snacks all night and never burp or change and the baby is just uncomfortable and will keep waking.

So do it in stages and just soothe him. If you can't get him into a crib - then co-sleep is an alternative. I did with my last until 6 months and it was much easier and wished I had with my other kids.