My daughter cries hysterically whenever a man looks in her face and smiles and talks to her. She does it with some women and children as well. She LOVES her daddy, so I'm not sure what the deal is. In the past 2 weeks I've been to a baby shower, dinner party with babies and 2 lunch dates with babies- she has cried through all of the events...hysterically. My neighbor Nick loves her and loves to hold her and she bawls every time. It's getting to where I cannot take her to functions where people will talk to her. She's on Alimentum because she fusses a lot, so it's not her diet. She's also a pretty good sleeper. She loves her mama and wants to me mainly with me. That could be a contributing factor. I stay home with her. Have any other babies done this and what do I do? You know it's bad when your neighbors daughter runs over to your baby and she says to her daughter, "don't talk to the baby- you'll make her cry!!" HELP!!
Hi B.,
This is common. Don't worry she'll grow out of it. She's used to her sweet mommy who is definitely not male and you supply the majority of her comfort. It takes familiarity and that will come soon enough.
M.
You may also need to consider whether or not someone may have scared/hurt her in some way. If you ever leave your child with someone else, you need to remember this, you never really know what goes on. And most children that are abused get abused by a family member or a friend of the family. It happens. I'm not saying this is what happened to your daughter, but think back and at least consider it. It is our job as parents to protect our children. Sorry if I am being a bit crass, but we all need to be aware of it. May God bless and protect you all...B.
My daughter went through this, it was a short phase. I actually remember going to a public event and dodging people (strangers)who wanted to ooh and ahh over her apologetically saying "I'm sorry, but if you talk to her she'll just cry". I felt horrible but I learned quick to just keep moving. I think it lasted a month or so. It's a shift in their development where suddenly they know who mom is and a few other special people and everyone else is just scary. The good news is, it will be over soon and then your on the the next concern. Oh, the joys of motherhood!
OMG! My daughter was the same way. And honestly I used the tough love approach. I don't think it's that she's afraid of men, She has what I fondly called "MOMMY-Itis". You are the one she spends most of her time with. Start by once or twice a week hiring a sitter to watch her at your home while you take care of your chores, or just take a bath and have some leisure time. I'd love to help you out just to get what i call a "baby fix". My husband can't have children, and I have the itch to have another.
Your daughter feeds off of your anxiety about the situation, if you act like it's no big deal, eventually she will too.
and most important...IGNORE that kneejerk reaction to run to her and take her from someone when she starts crying.
It's hard to do but trust me, it's harder break as they get older...especially when they start walking. Send me an email ____@____.com perhaps we can work it out so I can come help cure this case mommy itis
I had this problem with my youngest when she was an infant. It wasn't just men though, it was everybody!! It was a very hard couple months (she did grow out of it) because she's 1/2 of a set of twins and everyone has to stop and ask you questions and such!! Your daughter should grow out of it. The best advice I received about this was to keep taking her out to public places and little by little, she'll start responding better to strangers. I hope this helps!!
From reading the other posts you may get the impression that this is a very short lived phase. That may not be the case. My oldest was like that (it is usually the only child) and her shyness was fairly short lived. About 4-5 months of it. But my third child, a boy who is now 3, is still shy. He's been that way his whole life. I remember when he was an infant and I would go mall walking with some lady friends and he would just stare at them with intensity the entire time and cry if they looked like they were coming closer. I still took him with me to lunches and outings with my other friends. And we lived around DC, so we would go walk in the city. He would be fine unless someone talked to him or approached him. I had great friends there who knew this and didn't try to hold him or mess with him much. Close to the end of our visits together he would loosen up a little bit enough to play peek a boo from across the table or something like that. Every time we visit family we have to inform them before to keep their distance and let him warm up to the situation and them before talking to him or approaching him. He really started getting better about 6-8 months ago and now he takes less time to warm up. That could be just a part of her personality. There's nothing to be ashamed of when telling other people to mind their distance. Babies are people too and they need their space. Imagine if people you barely knew would walk right up to you and try hugging on you and rubbing your sweet cheeks.
One issue we have is with birthday parties. He will usually sit under the picnic table attached to my legs and playing with the sand there most of the time. He will watch the other children playing and walk closer to them and play next to them, but not with them. He is getting bolder now, but it may not be as short a road as everyone else seems to think it should be.
My daughter did the same thing (she was born (07/07/07) she was like that for a month or 2 and has just got over it recently - I used to say to people 'dont look at her or she will cry!" lol
Just let her look at other people and dont feel bad about telling other people to stay out of her face or not look her in the eye and her confidence will grow.
Good Luck!
F.
My son did this for alittle while too...I am pretty sure it is the smell of them...She knows your smell and her daddy's smell because it is your house...When she is out or someone comes in it is not the same smell and that is uncomfortable to her. It is a phase. She will grow out of it.
Blessings,
K. J.
HMMM sounds like she's going through a phase... my daughter soon to be 2 really doesnt like people she doesnt see often much and she always shys away from older boys and men, not to the point of yelling but mainly just feeling uncomforatable. I work with children all day long at the YMCA of bonita springs where I get to bring my children along with me and I believe this has helped them out inmensly with their social skills. Maybe your child just needs to be around children more... its an adjustment at first it takes days, sometimes weeks before they adjust and it will break your heart to see her cry but its just a matter of consistency yeah yeah I know easier said than done. But just let me know how it goes and good luck with everything.
