My daughter now 4yrs and 7 months goes to preschool. When the school started she was very excited but 2 months of going to school she says she doesn't want to go to school and it's not fun going to school. She was a eager learner growing up, she knew to recognize numbers and letters before going to preschool. Now when we try a bit of phonics or additions she runs away. She tells us that she doesn't have fun with her her teachers and friends. She wants to learn from us at home. She prefers to stay home with me and her younger brother. She even now grasps very quickly. My thinking is she knows the answers but doesn't answer ... how do I make it interesting for her to learn and create interest in going to school?
We had a meeting with our daughter's teacher and she said that my daughter does good as far as she is asked a question she answers well but otherwise she doesn't communicate anything else with her teachers. She plays with all her friends but is very fond of one friend and tells us that she is her best friend. We are trying to work with her communicating and interacting more with her teachers and friends. Can you give me tips on how to make my daughter more social ...
Thank you,
PV
Take her to the school bus garage. I took my soon to be 5 year old there and she was able to get on the big yellow bus and that clinched the deal. She looked forward to being able to get up on that bus each morning.
I think it's a normal reaction for the preschool set. Of course she would rather be home with you! My son also tells me almost everyday that he doesn't want to go to "school" (he's 3.5). But then by all accounts he has a good time while he's there, he can name his favorite friends to play with, and sometimes doesn't want to leave at the end of the day.
I also agree with those who said it may be some jealousy of the younger child, too. My baby girl is starting daycare with big brother in a month and he is very excited about that.
You might want to also consider whether her current preschool is an appropriate match for her learning style. After discussing your concerns with her teacher, there might be a chance to explore other type of programs that utilize methods more akin to what your child could possibly have a better response to.
Yes, I would talk to her teacher and see if maybe there's an issue with other kids, or maybe she is not challenged enough. Kids get bored if things are not challenging their creativity, etc. Also - having a younger brother at home probably makes her a bit jealous he gets more mommy time....but she will get over that and he will be in school soon too. Just try to make sure to spend lots of one on one time with her after school and praise her work and accomplishments so she is proud of what she is doing...which you probably already do...but that can go a long way! Good luck!
Not sure how to make school fun for her. I usually try to trust their instincts. Have you considered homeschooling? We took the plunge this year and have LOVED homeschooling our son who is 7 and was miserably bored at school.
Good luck!
S.
It's great you're meeting with her teacher -- first you need to do that to rule out any specific problems like whether she's being teased, etc. But see if you also can find a way to spy on a real class, preferably without her seeing you. Does the teacher tend to raise her voice a lot? Is the class too easy for for your child or too hard? Is she expected to move from activity to activity too quickly, meaning she has to drop something that really engrosses and interests her, or too slowly, meaning she has to stay with an activity that's too "young" for her and bores her? Is the overall environment chaotic and loud or calmer and relaxed? These are all things you can't always tell from talking with the teacher.You might consider whether to switch your child to another preschool if you're feeling this one's teaching style is not for her. I've had friends for whom our preschool was great for one child but not another, depending on the kids' personalities and learning styles. Kids might need smaller classes if they are introverts (and she might be) or more academic stimulation if they love to learn things and the current school is more about play. The opposite may also be true -- she may feel she's not having fun at school because her school tries too hard to be academic and doesn't allow enough free play. It's tough on you but there's no shame in switching schools if needed--you're a paying customer. As for just not sending her, if you do plant to homeschool you may not need preschool, but if you plan to send her to school, I'd keep her in preschool as it is a good preparation for that. For many children going on to schools, I think it's a good introduction to the basics of kindergarten--like listening to an adult who's not a parent, following directions from that adult, and moving from activity to activity as part of a group.
Please make sure she is not being bullied. My sis-in-law just told me two weeks ago about how her daughter had an episode of being bullied. She only found out after her daughter suddenly "didnt want to go to school" and was very carefully questioned by my sis'in law. Its a shame that kids so young have to deal with these issues but it does happen.
PV,
Bonnie said what I was going to say. Also encourage your daughter that if there is something going on at school to try and work it out herself and show her what that looks like. As parents we can't always fight our children's battles and they need to learn to do it themselves. However, if it is something where you really need to step in, like she can't understand the teacher or the teacher is not helping her when she asks for help with a problem, then step in and get both sides of the story. Hope this helps. God Bless.
Have you talked to her teacher? Maybe something is going on with the other kids that she doesn't like. Some kids have a hard time learning to be part of a class or a group. There's manners and raising hands if they want to answer and getting into a line to walk from class to class. I ask my son every day what was the best thing that happened at school and what was the worst thing. If problems pop up, I try to talk with the teacher or hear both sides of a problem, and then try to work through it.
She is only four! Some young children are sensitive to the crowds at school. Teach her at home. You can do it! You will be creating a special bond between yourself and your daughter that will last a life time. Hundreds of people homeschool. Actually schooling at home is better until the child reaches the age of 8 or more. This is a fact many developmental phycologists agree on. AF
It sounds like there may be a little jealousy with the younger one staying at home. I had to remind my son of all the wonderful things he got to do at school while my youngest didn't get to do any of that at home. You may want to speak with her teacher to see if some dynamic at school has changed. Also make learning a game. Don't sit down to "teach" her. Play a new card game, board game, word game, etc. When they are 4 they really don't like to sit down and learn. Teach her using everyday stuff (i.e. You have 5 grapes, i'll give 2 more to you so you'll have ...how many? 4). She learns while she is laughing at her silly mommy because you know she won't hesitate to correct you if she knows the answer. Good luck.
