Homeschool or Not/ Christian Moms?

You can certainly homeschool if you are able to do that, but more than this, you need to help her deal with life. If she can't deal with 8 in a class and being away from you, then she needs help, and just keeping her at home is not the answer.

Please get a child psychologist to work with you both.

Dawn

Ah-poor little gal! What is causing all the trepidation? It sounds like it's more than just missing you??? Could she do a partial day? Like-go in for one or two subjects, then come home for lunch and stay? If she does come home to be home schooled again-I think it would be a good idea to do and activity or two outside the home-like dance or violin, or tennis. Best of luck!

This doesn't sound like a homeschooling versus not-homeschooling problem. It sounds more like your daughter is having problems with separation anxiety, plain old anxiety, and maybe other things. Perhaps it's the school that's causing the problems, but I would suspect it's her personality. If you pull her out of school, she'll be happy to be with you... but will it be the best thing for her? Will her anxiety surface in six months about something else?

I say instead of going the easy route and starting to homeschool her again, take the time and work with her to learn why she's missing you so much. Help her learn to cope in a social and educational setting and it will serve her well for her whole life.

Some kids make the transition from home to public/private just fine. Some don't. I would understand that she's crying because she is being forced to write a report on human sacrifices or she has to read a book on Satanism, THEN I would definitely homeschool. But if she's crying because she wants to stay at home, to me that isn't a good enough reason.

If you keep her at the school this might be an excellent opportunity to work with your daughter and help her adjust to the great big world out there.

Right now she thinks that if anything happens she doesn't like or feels comfortable with she has the option to stay at home. You don't want her to think its ok to run to run away from things when she doesn't like them.

As a Christian, I believe homeschooling is a calling. You should be called to homeschool. You really have to have a passion to teach your children at home, research you curriculum and focus on your child's education. If you want to homeschool because you both like each other's company, then you might be setting your child up on an emotional rollercoaster. If you put her in school, then you HAVE to make that commitment and she has to understand no matter what happens, she is in her school for the long run and that you will do whateve ryou can to help her get through it.

One of the worst mistakes I made was 'finishing out the year'. It didn't do irreparable damage to my son, but it took 2 years to rectify, and 6 months before we could even begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I should have pulled him at winter break. Instead, I let him be miserable and learn to hate & fear school of ANY kind (when school had been his favorite thing for 3 years, prior). He was an absolute mess by June.

So, from my experience, Id yank her, deschool for a couple months if necessary (may be, maybe not, since you're returning... Not starting... And its only been 6mo, her brain may not have turned off, yet), and then start back up.

I kept him in for the silly idea of missing his friends.

He saw his friends a lot more AFTER starting homeschool... Because of the time and the fact that he was energetic & happy again. AFTER 6 months of some really painful transition. My son was a MESS.

Do keep in mind deschooling. It may or may not be necessary... But k12 awayschool students are told what to do minute by minute. Its hard enough for them to adjust to summer break & not being told what to do all the time... Switching back to HS'ing, where one is an active participant and needs to be thinking/planning/participating ... Will either be a huge relief or "What did they DO to you??? Where's my little girl???" They didn't do anything/she'll be fine and be back to herself in a few weeks. Its just easy to forget the paradigm switch that happens.

OK--no experience with homeschooling personally here.

I just wanted to say that I honestly can say I don't know a kid that has NOT gone through a phase like this. Just make sure there's not something going on at school, ok?

Good luck!

If you are both on the same page, yank her out now.

No need to make her finish out the year, but it would be a good idea to find out what is stressing her out. It will need to be addressed even if you do decide to homeschool.

We pulled my SD out at the end of first grade, but we should have pulled her out in the middle when she was doing poorly and even tried to run away from the school at recess! It took forever to deschool her and re-teach what she missed. Being at school for the "rest of the year" was worthless in my opinion. We would have been better off pulling her out when the problems occurred. Her problem was she was a chameleon, and very good a acting like she knew what was going on, and also guessing the answers with no actual understanding. She wanted to "fit in." The result was she slipped further and further behind but no one noticed (she also learned how to copy off other kids!)

Once you determine the reason, you can pull her out and make repairs. She WILL be fine, I promise!

Homeschool is work, you have to be organized and you have to know your child. You have to know when to push forward, and when to drop something and come back to it. It is VERY rewarding though, not only can you teach the subjects but you can weave in your own religion as well.

Good luck!

Why did you stop homeschooling her?

I would definitely go to the teacher and find out what has her so stressed. I had one child that was being bullied in school. The bullying wasn't going to stop so I taught her what to do when there is a hostile work environment...... find a different job. We brought her home. School is for learning academics. If the child is to stressed to learn the academics find an environment that will help her do that. I have been homeschooling for many years now. It is difficult but I wouldn't trade it for the world. No one knows your kids like you do and no one can help them like you can.

I'm all for homeschooling and have done it. My guy is in preschool for the socialization, I may homeschool starting when he's in 1st grade. But since your daughter's behavior is changing now after half the year has gone by it sounds as if something is going on at school she doesn't like that is stressing her. I'd find out what it is before taking her out. You may find it's a good reason to remove her from the school, or something she needs to work through.

I have never homeschooled, but I would love to. (I have many friends who do and their kids are doing amazing. Even my 3rd grade daughter said her HS'd friend is way more advanced than she is in academics.) My DH is against it. My 7th grader hates public school. My 3rd grade daughter is OK at the school, used to the routine, and does well with the structure/expectations. She's just used to it at this point. There are about 22 kids in her class. Big class, 1 teacher. IMO I could do better on my own, going at her own pace, learning the things we want to - together. Going deeper with subjects than the superficial sweeps they do in school.

If I could take them out right now, I would. Why finish the year if she is THAT miserable? Why not take her out? Why should she be stressed?

If she misses you, that's because she loves you and got used to being around you? She's in 2nd grade. She's little. Let her be with you. This period (childhood) won't last forever. I think she is a little human being who is perfectly normal. Yea, something might be going on in the classroom and maybe in her head she's asking herself "really? This isn't worth it! I'd rather be with mom. It was better than this."

Maybe in a year or 2 or 3 or 4 you'll both give school another try.

I would find out what happened between the first part of the year and the second. When my DD says her tummy hurts, it often means something else - nerves, for example. When I pried a little, I found out that she was having issues with a particular child. She reports that he's pushy and rude. So I worked with her on dealing with conflicts and she is OK now. I would talk to your DD about the school and set up a meeting for yourself with the teacher. Your DD may sincerely miss you and miss homeschooling, but I think that just like any educational decision, you need to get the facts before you change it. You should weigh if this is a fixable and temporary situation or not. You should figure out if she's falling behind in class (does she need her eyes checked, a tutor, to be tested for a learning disability?) or what. I would not encourage my child to run away anytime something gets hard, but as her parent I need to know what's going on to make that determination.

We have school choice for HS and when SS wanted to change schools we sat down about the whys and wherefores and allowed him to change starting the beginning of the next year.

If she is biting herself, you may also want to speak to a school counselor or her pediatrician because to me that says anxiety that may be above and beyond going to school.

I think that if you chose to homeschool her again, you need to find out why she reacted this way to being in school, because you cannot shelter her and be home with her for her entire life. I don't know how you do homeschooling, but if you did not do a co-op, you should look into a program that includes other children. I have several friends who were or do homeschool and the co-op seems to be the best option for them.

When I was a child I missed mom and would have loved to have been at home with her all day, but I don't think sheltering me from the world "beyond mom" would have done me any favors. I think a little independence is a very good thing. Like others have said maybe there is something going on at school but I'm guessing it is just the safety of home and missing you that has her so upset.

I don't see the problem. If you and your daughter both want to home school, why not?

If you are going to keep her home and HS again, just pull her out now. Spend the rest of the school year deschooling.

Hi, K.:

Home School.

Good luck.
D.

See if you can find out from her or her teacher what is going on at school, and perhaps go and observe in her class. Kids don't change their behavior like this without a reason, and even if her stomachaches are "just nerves," they are real, and the nerves are there for a reason. Is she struggling academically? Is there friend drama? Is she being bullied? Is she bored? Does she simply miss being at home?

Once you've analyzed what the problem is, you can decide whether or not to pull her out. Do not stay and finish the year just for the sake of rounding out a school year. If you decide she needs to stay, you should be able to support the decision with a well-thought-out reason. The thing is, if both she and you miss homeschooling, I'd have a hard time justifying staying at school. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but it may just be the best solution for you and your family.

Does she get along with the kids? Such a small class, so make sure there are no friends issues. That's the age!

I know my husband had a small school and he said it was awful. My son's class has (I think) 24 or so and he plays with his pals he chose, so the social pressure isn't as big a deal.

2nd graders do not typically do what she describes, and it sounds like she has some anxiety issues. Perhaps a larger, different school? Homeschooling is an option but it sounds like she needs to deal with her issues AT school right now.