My 4 Years Old Son Not Wanting to Eat Only Wants to Drink Milk?

Stop letting him fill up on milk. If his belly is full of milk, then he won't be hungry. All kids eat when they are hungry. Give him small servings and healthy choices. Provide options. Ask him what he would like, have him help pick out groceries, get him to help prepare food. Take him to a buffet and let him choose from a large variety of foods and see what he likes. Do not nag or make a big deal about what he eats. Only offer milk after the meal.

I agree with Doris Day 100%. Read that response again at least 3 times.

The tonsils thing is weird and I'd get another opinion immediately.

And I'd stop buying milk. Stop fighting, stop buying, stop being controlled by your child. And remember that he is probably grumpy because he's nutritionally deprived now. No matter what he does, don't yell. Just say what Doris said.

My kid had some mild swallowing issues and was picky with textures. He did eat, but he didn't get to start breakfast with his favorite foods (cereal, French toast, pancakes) - he had to start with fruit. He even started referring to this as his "first half" and his "second half."

Don't budge on this. If his tantrums are going to make you late for work, then start this weekend when it's a 3-day weekend for most people. Arrange to run out of milk on Friday afternoon. Cook REAL mac & cheese with what's left, if you have to, with whole wheat pasta and real cheese.

Keep a mix of foods of varying textures, sweetness/tartness, and nutritional components available. Put 4-5 things on the table, and those are the choices. Limit the amount of each so he can't pick a new food that he decides to eat 100%.

He will not starve. He won't. He'll tell you he's starving and you'll feel bad - but don't. Just don't. Children need to learn to accept responsibility - if they are hungry, it's because they refuse to eat. If they are cold, it's because they refuse to put on a sweater when it's 50 degrees. If they are tired, it's because they fight bedtime. And you are the parent. Certain things are not negotiable. Do you drive off with him even though he isn't in his car seat? Of course not. Do you let him run into the street to chase a ball? Of course not. Because he's not the parent. So you don't give him milk all day long just because he demands it.

ETA - 100 flowers to you, Diane B. Your last paragraph is terrific - I couldn't have said it better...

Original:
Well, I'd get another doctor. Saying that a 3 (or 4, which is it?) year old kid will get tonsils out at 8 makes NO sense...

No more milk. Don't buy any. "Oh gee, honey, I'm sorry, but we're all out!" Put a small plate in front of him and a little bit of food. Sit there and ignore him and eat your food. Let him fuss. "Oh, you want down? You must be done. Off you go!" and put saran wrap over his plate. Continue to ignore him. Continue your dinner. He'll probably come right back in and whine for food. Put his plate in front of him with the saran wrap.

If you continue to do this, he will finally start to eat. But if you have milk in the house before you break this habit, he will continue to fight with you to get that milk. NO MILK IN THE HOUSE!!

The point is, you DON'T MAKE HIM EAT. Kids can only control 2 things in their lives - eating and toileting. That's it. He is controlling you with food.

A family member went through this with her son, only it was with peanut butter sandwiches. She tried and tried to get him to eat anything else and he refused. Summer came and she sent him to his cousins for a while. Instead of people paying attention to his peanut butter sandwich habit, they put regular food on his plate, and after they cleaned their own plates, they cleaned his too. They didn't want to "waste food", you see. Can you guess what happened then? Oh boy - he didn't like all those hands swiping his food! So after this happened a couple of times, he ate like a champ, beating them at their own game. When he went home, he was used to regular food again.

So stop it with the arguments. Just offer the food and ignore. Don't change any aspect of the food. He eats what was offered, that's it. If he doesn't, pretend you don't mind. Over and over until he stops begging for the milk.

I loved milk when I was little too. I'd drink the carton and then couldn't eat my lunch. My mom asked my teacher to only give it to me after I ate. And at home, my mom would do the same thing. Worked fine. Then again, I just liked milk. I wasn't trying to manipulate my parents...

Stop giving him milk. I'm serious. One of mine was the same - he would fill up on milk and then was not hungry at mealtimes. I started giving him 1 small cup of milk after he ate his lunch and one small cup after he ate his dinner. He did not get milk until after he ate, and other than those 2 small cups, if he was thirsty, I gave him water only. He started eating really well once I limited his milk during the day.

Some milk is ok. Figure out how much milk is ok (the numbers below are probably right), and decide when he CAN have milk - at breakfast? with lunch? after lunch? with dinner? at bedtime? Whatever you decide, but only that amount. The rest of the time he gets water.

But keep in mind, toddlers and preschoolers go through phases of not eating as much. It's not cause for alarm. It's normal. Kids go through growth spurts where they eat all the time. They also go through stages where they simply do not need as much to eat. So it's very possible that he simply does not need as much food as you think he does.

Relax, limit the amount of milk he CAN have, only offer healthy foods and just let him eat as much (or as little) as he wants. Trust him that he really will eat if he's hungry.

What do tonsils have to do with the food issue? I feel like I'm missing an important detail. Tonsils don't come out unless they need to come out, and when they need to then it isn't something that can wait 4+ years.

Is his throat currently sore or has he recently had problems? If so, then you have your reason why he doesn't want to eat solids. If this is the case, you need a new doctor immediately. The milk thing is secondary but you can address nutrition at this time by using Pediasure or similar.

My son used to do this all the time too. He would drink milk and fill up and then not want to eat any food. ALL the time. The trick is to not let your son fill up on milk. We actually would not give him a glass of milk with his meals and after he had had a certain amount of milk during the day then he got no more. He was extremely picky when he was little. So, I suggest running out of milk and not getting more. Don't make a big deal of him not eating, don't give him attention for it, don't try to get him to eat or push food or say anything. Just serve small portions of a balanced meal and take it away when meal time is over. Serve a variety, so there is sure to be one thing he will like. He may have tantrums and cry the first couple days but don't give in. Just don't give him attention about it either. Be very matter of fact. We stopped making meal times a battle and stopped giving our son attention for being picky. He is 13 now and he is still picky...but not overly so. As he got older we talked some about how taste buds change and it's important to always take a bite to train your taste buds. He became interested in liking more foods at about age 10. To this day he likes basic "meat and potatoes" type meals best (meat, starch, veggie) but he is starting to like mixed up meals like beef stroganoff and chilli too. ADDED - If he needs his tonsils out is his throat sore? Go to a different doctor. I would not want to eat if I was in pain either. I'm not sure why your doctor would wait - it's a simple quick procedure. Go get a 2nd opinion on this asap.

All kids go through phases. Remember though, you're the adult - you serve the food.

If it were me, I'd simply serve food first and offer water with meals. Milk can be had - after the meal or snack.

If he doesn't eat, he'll get hungry. I know you won't want to restrict milk (will seem nasty of you) but he can, so long as he eats some (sandwich, something fun but nutritious.. etc.) first.

I had a fussy eater and that's how I got him to try new foods. Always try x amount of bites first, then you can have ... but can't fill up on it.

I don't get the part about the tonsils either. That makes absolutely no sense to me either. Your ages don't make a lot of sense - you say he's 4 but 3 .. then tonsils at 8? (just confusing)

Just to note - you might want to try little cubes of cheese or yogurt first (with say, banana chunks to dip in the yogurt, etc.) if he loves dairy so much, just to get him eating again. It's a habit - so expect it to take a bit of work (and frustration) to get past. You can though. There are pediatric dietitians if needs be - if you really need help. You can ask pediatrician if it gets really bad.

I agree with the others stop buying milk or only give in moderation. Milk breaks down as a solid that's why he's not hungry. If he's drinking too much of it he for sure will not be hungry.

Did the dr say why he didn't want to take his tonsils out till he's 8? That's crazy. If he's having issues now it's better to have them out now. The younger they are when they come out the better and faster they heal.

"The 2010 Dietary Guidelines put out by the United States Department of Agriculture recommends three cups of milk for adolescents between 9 and 18, 2.5 cups for children 4 to 8 and two cups for children 2 to 3."

After he's had his 2 cups of milk per day he gets water.
You might want to decide when he gets his milk - once in the morning and once before bedtime but when his daily allotment has been had that's it no matter how much he pitches a fit about it.

Our son had his tonsils and adenoids out as soon as he turned 4 yrs old and I've heard of kids having them out much younger.
Our son's tonsils weren't infected but they had swelled up till they were almost an obstruction and they interfered with his breathing at night and swallowing all day.
Having them out was the best thing we ever did.
I don't know why your doctor wants to wait so long but maybe you should have an ENT (ear, nose, throat doctor) take a look at them now and see about getting them out sooner than later.
The earlier they are out, the easier the recovery (when adults have them out recovery can take a long time).

Your child is strong willed?
Your will is stronger!
You can lead him to the dinner table but you can't make him eat.
You offer him healthy food choices and he decides if he will eat or go hungry.
Maybe you can tell him if he eats a portion of the meal then he'll get his milk when he's finished - so serve the milk last.

You can't "make" him eat. He won't eat when he gets hungry either. He'll keep going hungry.

This is a battle of wills and he's a kid. Obviously he needs to learn things but when you battle over food you end up losing every time.

Food battles end up leading to eating disorders and stuff in the future. So stop. Let him do what the doctor said, let him have some milk. I would always offer food with it though, food he likes and only a few bites of it. Some kids see a plate full of food and they get overstimulated and it's way overwhelming so they won't take a bite of it.